Yesterday was not an easy day for me. You see, I had four classes, from 8:40- 12:00 pm , then from 1:00-2:00. My break was recess and lunch. It was physically draining, indeed.
But I don't mind getting tired physically. The only thing that can make you forget how exhausted you are is when you eat, sit down a little, and sleep (which I don't think I can do in school, waahhhhh). After some time you get used to the feeling already. However, it was not that thing I am really talking about.
My exhaustion was beside the point. My kids or my advisory class was sometimes getting the hell out of me. You see, teaching can make you a lion, at times, and worse even a dinosaur. If not for the gift of patience and what they so called tender-loving-care which is innate to me, I guess I have long resigned from this job. But at the end of the day, and much to the laughs and teasing of my friends, they knew all along I will not really have the heart to leave teaching for so long. Why will I, they say, I am a good teacher. And most of all, I am passionate of my craft. So there.
But hey! Teaching is not a bed of roses everyday. It can be a heaven or hell on earth, depending on your student's moods, or class composition. The attitudes of my girls are so varied, and I believe-- extremes. I have the most quiet, one of the most smart, but I also have the loudest, and sometimes sensitive and moody girls. So how do you strike a balance as a teacher, with only you to handle all of them? That was a tough question to answer.
This is just my second year of being a class adviser, and I am telling you, it is a roller coaster ride. Sure they give me the reasons to smile when they are goody-goody, but they can crush my world into pieces whenever I hear negative remarks about them from my colleagues. But I guess being a teacher or a class adviser is really like that. You don't get to choose your kids, they are given to you. Thus, at the end of the day, you make do for whatever it is that's given, and you strive to mold them to the person you hope they will be. Even if the going gets tough, you stand by them. And as cliche as it may sound, you are there, never giving up.
Having this class as my advisory is a challenge for me this year. We deal with different issues everyday-- from the troubles of peer-pressure, isolation, bullying, problems with academics, friendship conflicts...the list is, endless! So forth...so on. And as I am facing them each day, trying to show that face of bravery and dependability, I realized that more than the brains and the techniques you learned from your undergrad days, it takes a well-formed character to be a good teacher. Dealing with all those issues can be terrifying. If you are emotionally unstable and unsure of yourself, how can you direct these kids to the right path? If you never worked on improving and loving yourself, how can you radiate an unconditional love to these children?
Being a teacher is indeed close to motherhood. And being with this kids makes me feel I've grown so much and that someday, I will really know the ins and outs of parenting. Being a teacher made me learn how to connect, sympathize, listen, and understand without judging. But most of all, I would say that I learned to love my kids for who they are, and even for what they are not. Everything is a matter of selfless love and unconditional acceptance. You love them because they are your kids, and at the end, all you want is simply the best for them, nothing more, nothing less.
Therefore, even if sometimes I would rather shrink and die than deal with all my kids' petty issues, I chose to stand strong and be resolute that we will all breakthrough. After all, I am their mother in school, and if I will give up on them, who else will be there to help them get up and carry on. I love them wholeheartedly, and even if they can vex me to the infinite point of no return, I know that I will still go back to them and prod them to stand when they fall. After all, that's the real essence of teaching- never giving up in believing in your students even in the bleakest of all situations.
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