Monday, April 15, 2019

the beauty of waiting

There is beauty in waiting, and I thank God for all those years that he made me wait.

As human beings, it is but normal to be impatient and frustrated when things don't go as planned.

But what virtue does God want us to develop as we wait? What is the purpose for our life "delays?" Or maybe it's only us who thinks it's a delay. Probably, God knows that at the moment, that is for the best.

Waiting is not just a test of patience, but is meant to develop our character. A person's true character is not revealed when he has the best things in life. In fact, it can be seen when he has nothing, or is striving and working hard to achieve something. What a person does as he wait tells so much of how he/she is.

Do you see nothing but life's imperfections and missing pieces as you wait? Or are you the type who does something meaningful while waiting. Which one would you rather be? Would you be sulking, complaining, or ranting? Or woud you rather be working, exploring, and trusting on life's timing as you wait?

While it is easy to answer that we will try to be productive as we wait, in reality, it's not as easy as it seems though. There will be days when we will be caught in despair of not knowing what our future holds. It feels like you were stuck in the middle of the unknown, and you are clueless of what tomorrow will bring. But then again, it is just a phase. We could choose to wallow over that sadness, or move on. And when you do, there is no way to go but forward, as we strive to live life with purpose and meaning each day.

Living each day doing what you love does not seem like waiting at all. Instead, it's more like trusting and hoping for the best, wherever life leads you. Doing things with zeal and passion, whatever that may be, allows us to seize the moment and to be fully present in life. And before you know it, time had passed, until you barely realize that you are no longer waiting. For at the end, you are rather fulfilled and happy, that all the good things life grants and blesses you with are just a bonus.

May this song by John Waller inspire us to embrace the beauty of waiting. We may not see it right now, but God sees our good works and gives what is due for his humble and faithful servant.

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait...


Friday, March 15, 2019

Your Time. God's Time.

When I was younger, I used to think I can easily plan my life out. I thought that if I put my mind into it, and probably work hard for it, the things I want will easily fall offf my lap. And boy, I was wrong. Very wrong.

There are things that will be given to us because of our hardwork and persistence. But not all. This I have learned, in the years that I sail on this journey, that life is all about the perfect timing.

Timing is everything. As what was said, "many are the plans in the person's heart, but the Lord's plan shall prevail." I will say it again and again, even if it may sound repetitive, that there are things we meticulously plan, but may not happen. In the course of those heartbreaks, rejections, unanswered prayers, and disappointments, it is but normal to be disheartened. We feel that it may never happen or be given to us. But, if we hold on and ponder over, we might come to realise this: "Just because it is not happening does not mean that it's not meant for you. Maybe the answer isn't a "No," but "not yet."

Perhaps, there are things we don't see that we still need to discover and develop. I can still vividly remember how I envision myself at the age of 25. Back then, I thought, I have already married by that age and by the age of 30, I probably have kids, a house, a car, have finished my masters. To be honest, none of them has happened "yet," but I am not frustrated anymore, because as I grow older, I learned to trust the timing of things in my life.

Yes, I will be married soon, at the age of 29, and I may be late from the original timeline I have set for myself. But even if the timeline was not exactly followed, it is not a reason to fret. In fact, I realised, that the events in my life are perfect as it is. I was able to work abroad at the age of  27 and met the love of my life at the same age. If I had met him a little earlier, maybe I will not be where I am right now. And I guess, the delay in my love story is my journey to self-discovery, and I would say, those years of trial and errors are the greatest gift I ever gave myself.

I have had series of failures and disappointments, but instead of sulking over, I wore those wounds with pride. I was able to overcome and reign victorious over those battles and hurdles. Here I am today, standing still, growing grateful each day. I thank the Lord for allowing me to experience heartbreaks, for it made me know what to pray for and look for in a man. I thank God that it took me a while to build my career, for it enabled me to push myself further and go outside my comfort zone. And I will always be indebted to God, for building my character and for increasing my faith all those years. If I am happy and content in love and life right now, it's because I earned this by patiently waiting. If I did things my way back then and be reckless, this may not be the life I have right now. So if you felt you were rejected or clueless as to where your life will tread, learn to trust in the process and in God's timing for your life. If we will only look at life in that lens, we will live more joyfully each day, knowing that every adventure comes with a purpose.

So what to do now? Sail on, travel, learn a skill, meet new people, discover what the world has to offer. Life is too short to waste it by stressing over a timeline. Ditch the timeline, and instead, make good use of your time. Stop comparing yourself with others, that is their time, not yours. Your time will come, too. The Lord is developing something within you, and He is preparing to launch you to greater heights. At the end of the day, be reminded that, "his plans are not meant to harm you, but to make you prosper."

With the Lord by your side, you're in good hands. And one day, when what you have been praying for have been answered, you will look back at those days you have been waiting. By then, you will be at peace and tell yourself, "now I finally understand."

Friday, February 15, 2019

When we were young

Oh those yester years, we were young and wild, and free. When we think about it, and reminisce the days and years that had gone by, it will surely bring about a rollercoaster of emotions. We may feel wistful, but at the same time find ourselves laughing as we think of our crazy, silly, and stupid acts (which we never even thought why we did in the first place). That is the recklesness of our youth, and when we mull over, there might be some beauty in it.

While there might be days we wished we could have been more rational in terms of how we decided on things during our youth, surely those carelessness were all charged to experience. We might have cried and regretted that action that we might have done over impulse, but a biggest mistake, when wisely reflected upon, can turn out to be the most life changing event ever. Though it's not always an excuse that we were young, back then, still it cannot be denied that our precious youth is an opportune time to learn. For we can never be the wiser person we are now if we never fell down and got back up during our younger years. And we owe it to our younger self and thank that we had that "grace and trial period" of our life. Hopefully, those mistakes are no longer the recurring ones, otherwise, we might have never learned or made realisations, after all.

And as the years passed, it is our hope that we let go of the hurts and bitterness of the past. That despite all our imperfections and wrongdoings, we have learned to be more kind to ourself. It is futile to play the blame game, and it is but wiser to move forward and just keep going. Whatever it takes to get by, may it be crawling, walking, kneeling, running, sprinting, fast, average, no matter how slow, the most important thing is we keep life going... and just reflect on whatever we can learn from the situation.

Someday, those mistakes and foolish acts will just be stories to tell. And interesting, colorful stories at that. One that we will funnily share to our children, grandchildren, or to the younger generations. Yes we could be young, and wild, and very much carefree. But let us not miss the most important point of our youth, that as we sail on the most worry free years of our life, may we never lose sight of the future ahead of us. That as we frolic along those fun-filled and exciting days, we allow ourself to grow, to be more introspective, and to mature, that at the end, we will not regret that we just wasted our youth over senseless and shallow merry-making that we never had the time to prepare ourselves to be the adult that we want to be in the future.


Thursday, January 10, 2019

a love to keep

I am in awe of your love for me
and like the sun's rays
your love shine its light upon me
warming my heart and soul
nourishing my very core.

Yours is the love that never ceases
Stronger than the current of the seas
I was left shaken, as if a volcanic eruption
maketh me feel your love is intense.
Typhoons and earthquakes may wreck havoc,
but there you are, still with a love that's unabated.

And looking at you, I know
that this is the love I have to keep.
For the strength of your love
is enough to weather all the storms.
Side by side, as we hold on to each other,
the whole world we shall face and conquer.




Saturday, December 8, 2018

The Journey to Love

A classic saying goes that "the course of true love never did run smooth," and finding the right one for you, so to speak. They say, it's akin to finding a needle in the haystack. It's a journey to the unknown, often times leaving you perplexed, wondering, bewildered.

Finding the right one may entail several trial and errors. If you are lucky enough, he may be your first and last. But what are the odds that you will be the lucky one? In a world where "no label relationships" and "not into serious relationships" abound, what are the chances that you will find true love in an instant? It is never an ABC, and sometimes, you might end up telling yourself, "I think I have more chances in winning the lottery!"

We may feel despair, loneliness, isolation, betrayal. There are many emotions that will lurk and cripple your very core. Doubting yourself during these trying times is not far from happening. After trying to go through several dates and countless rejections, it is surely not easy to get back on your feet. When the heart is crushed, our mind and body somehow undergo this state of "paralysis." At this point, it may be harder to see the colours in our life.

But, this may just be a phase. As cliche as it may sound, time will heal the wounds. After going through several heartbreaks, one may give up, may park the quest for love in the meantime, or let the heart rest until it is ready. Whatever the choice is, what matters is, to give the heart ample time to heal and recover from pain, until it can finally wholly welcome love again.

We cannot really tell how many heartaches you will have to go through before true love will find its way. One cannot really fathom the mystery of love, and how it will be lead to you. But despite the pain of rejections and the fear of the unknown, there is one thing that we hope for. If you have been through painful heartbreaks, I hope you will let your heart heal and still believe in the beauty and power of love. It is a rocky road and path, one that is venturing to the wild. It may take some time  and maybe you will grow tired that you are no longer waiting, but at least, give it a chance and believe that it will come. No matter how dreary and weary, just trust in the process that it will happen. Allow life to surprise you and maybe one day, when you are no longer waiting or hurting, it may pass by you. And it may never leave you again.

But all this will happen, if you still believe and if you open your heart to the beautiful possibilities of still finding love, no matter how difficult it may seem.

Saturday, October 20, 2018

A love so true and beautiful

There will come a point in your life when you will grow tired and weary of chasing after people who can't love you in the same way that you do. It is just but pointless to cry over an unrequited love, more so, to search for answers and reasons why there are people who are not meant to stay in our lives. When we stop questioning and simply just embrace life's uncertainties, and be more optimistic that things do not happen at the present because a better future awaits, we are giving ourselves one big favor- that is to fully enjoy the moment and just accept life as it is, with imperfections and all.

For in reality, at one point in our life, there will always be that one great love that we wished we could have ended up with back then. We may have spent countless nights wallowing in tears, in agony, longing to be with that someone. That may be a time in our life when all we think about is the rush of emotions and perhaps, the wrecklessness of our youth. Our heart is a tide that keeps racing, wanting to find its way to the shore. For whatever reason we did not end up with that someone, know that, wherever you are at the present time, is always for the best.

In the end, life does not always give you what you want, but it will give you what you need, what is right, and what is best. A love so true and beautiful is our calm in the midst of a storm. It is finding serenity after going through a rough patch of heartaches and hearbreaks. It may come when you least expect it, but it will finally give answers to your heart's lingering questions. It is the love you rightfully deserve and have waited for, and will give you the certainty in the midst of a world full of doubts and skepticism.

This love is well-formed and is true. It is not perfect, but is the kind of love you have longed for and believed that is worth waiting for. This is the love that will not make you question your worth, for finally, this will make you feel secure. And in the arms of this person, you will have no fears, for all those you will cast aside and face the world head on. For the longest time in your life, finally, you will never feel alone, and with the love of this person, you will find your home.

It may take some time before this love will find its way to you. But know that, if you have experienced the pangs of rejection, it's not the end of the world. Every rejection is a redirection. And this redirection is a journey to a promising and more glorious destination. When you finally found that love, there might be days when you will look back at the painful past, but it may no longer sting that much. There may be a little wistful feeling as you look back. But your heart will be more thankful instead at where you are lead to. Is there still room for pain and tears for the love that was not yours, once in your life? Those are just bygones. What matters most is the one you are with now. For with the love that is real and is given in the perfect time, only happiness and hope abounds. Your heart is overflowing with joy and gratitude for the blessing that you have, and with finality you can say, "I am fully happy at where I am right now. And past is past."



Thursday, August 2, 2018

#FinalLenFoundSAMone

Lately, I have not been posting much because of work. As a teacher, there is indeed so much on my plate and maintaining this blog has been out of the loop. But if there is one thing that I am excited about, it is our upcoming big day on December 2019! I find time to search for cpncepts and pegs and I cannot contain my happiness every time I get to talk to our coordinator. At the moment, I just want to enjoy every single step of the preparation phase. I will be a bride chilla and avoid stressing myself out of the things that are beyond my control. 

As an OFW bride, perhaps one of my biggest worries is how to plan and ensure that the preparation will be smooth. I am grateful that my groom is hands on and as OC as I am! Usually, brides will do all the planning and will pay more attention to details, but even before we started planning out, Sam has been very vocal that he wants to be greatly involved in the preparation. In fact, since I am working here in Indonesia, Sam will be the ones mostly in charge of doing the leg work! Haha! Sorry, mahal. But thank you for making sure everything is in place. I couldn't be any happier knowing that I did not only find the one my soul loves, but I also got a team mate in him. 

It will still be a year and a few months before I bid goodbye to my single days. Each day, I cannot hide the fact that I am closer to that day when we will finally exchange our I dos. And for every day that I am with my love, I always thank God for the greatest gift He has ever given me. 

Let us enjoy this journey together, my love!