The Journey to Love

A classic saying goes that "the course of true love never did run smooth," and finding the right one for you, so to speak. They say, it's akin to finding a needle in the haystack. It's a journey to the unknown, often times leaving you perplexed, wondering, bewildered.

Finding the right one may entail several trial and errors. If you are lucky enough, he may be your first and last. But what are the odds that you will be the lucky one? In a world where "no label relationships" and "not into serious relationships" abound, what are the chances that you will find true love in an instant? It is never an ABC, and sometimes, you might end up telling yourself, "I think I have more chances in winning the lottery!"

We may feel despair, loneliness, isolation, betrayal. There are many emotions that will lurk and cripple your very core. Doubting yourself during these trying times is not far from happening. After trying to go through several dates and countless rejections, it is surely not easy to get back on your feet. When the heart is crushed, our mind and body somehow undergo this state of "paralysis." At this point, it may be harder to see the colours in our life.

But, this may just be a phase. As cliche as it may sound, time will heal the wounds. After going through several heartbreaks, one may give up, may park the quest for love in the meantime, or let the heart rest until it is ready. Whatever the choice is, what matters is, to give the heart ample time to heal and recover from pain, until it can finally wholly welcome love again.

We cannot really tell how many heartaches you will have to go through before true love will find its way. One cannot really fathom the mystery of love, and how it will be lead to you. But despite the pain of rejections and the fear of the unknown, there is one thing that we hope for. If you have been through painful heartbreaks, I hope you will let your heart heal and still believe in the beauty and power of love. It is a rocky road and path, one that is venturing to the wild. It may take some time  and maybe you will grow tired that you are no longer waiting, but at least, give it a chance and believe that it will come. No matter how dreary and weary, just trust in the process that it will happen. Allow life to surprise you and maybe one day, when you are no longer waiting or hurting, it may pass by you. And it may never leave you again.

But all this will happen, if you still believe and if you open your heart to the beautiful possibilities of still finding love, no matter how difficult it may seem.

A love so true and beautiful

There will come a point in your life when you will grow tired and weary of chasing after people who can't love you in the same way that you do. It is just but pointless to cry over an unrequited love, more so, to search for answers and reasons why there are people who are not meant to stay in our lives. When we stop questioning and simply just embrace life's uncertainties, and be more optimistic that things do not happen at the present because a better future awaits, we are giving ourselves one big favor- that is to fully enjoy the moment and just accept life as it is, with imperfections and all.

For in reality, at one point in our life, there will always be that one great love that we wished we could have ended up with back then. We may have spent countless nights wallowing in tears, in agony, longing to be with that someone. That may be a time in our life when all we think about is the rush of emotions and perhaps, the wrecklessness of our youth. Our heart is a tide that keeps racing, wanting to find its way to the shore. For whatever reason we did not end up with that someone, know that, wherever you are at the present time, is always for the best.

In the end, life does not always give you what you want, but it will give you what you need, what is right, and what is best. A love so true and beautiful is our calm in the midst of a storm. It is finding serenity after going through a rough patch of heartaches and hearbreaks. It may come when you least expect it, but it will finally give answers to your heart's lingering questions. It is the love you rightfully deserve and have waited for, and will give you the certainty in the midst of a world full of doubts and skepticism.

This love is well-formed and is true. It is not perfect, but is the kind of love you have longed for and believed that is worth waiting for. This is the love that will not make you question your worth, for finally, this will make you feel secure. And in the arms of this person, you will have no fears, for all those you will cast aside and face the world head on. For the longest time in your life, finally, you will never feel alone, and with the love of this person, you will find your home.

It may take some time before this love will find its way to you. But know that, if you have experienced the pangs of rejection, it's not the end of the world. Every rejection is a redirection. And this redirection is a journey to a promising and more glorious destination. When you finally found that love, there might be days when you will look back at the painful past, but it may no longer sting that much. There may be a little wistful feeling as you look back. But your heart will be more thankful instead at where you are lead to. Is there still room for pain and tears for the love that was not yours, once in your life? Those are just bygones. What matters most is the one you are with now. For with the love that is real and is given in the perfect time, only happiness and hope abounds. Your heart is overflowing with joy and gratitude for the blessing that you have, and with finality you can say, "I am fully happy at where I am right now. And past is past."

I am enough

Looking at my facebook feed lately can be both entertaining and sometimes frustrating. Surely, I get to be updated about friends and relatives what abouts. I get to be informed as to the latest buzz anywhere around the world. But that's actually at the surface level.

There are times when I am not fully entertained by what I see in social media. Truth be told, there are many and countless days that instead of feeling happy about what I see, I end up feeling frustrated. In reality, I think, this is what social media is all about, portraying a life that is seemingly perfect, until you dig in to the deeper truth behind every post. Jealousy, envy, insecurity can creep in once you see someone who is way prettier, sexier, or more successful than you do. How come he/she is able to afford such travels? How can she maintain that look and body at that age? Oh dear, he/she has a new car/ house (again). And here I am drowning in work. Not a pound lighter, not a penny richer.

Until then that I realised that you have to be learned to be secure on your own, regardless of what you have or do not. After all, the pressure kicks in if you see life as a constant competition. In reality, no matter how hard you work, there will always be someone better than you. No matter how beautiful you may be, there will always be someone who you feel is way superior than you in looks (and in body). It's easy to feel a tinge of jealousy and wallow in self pity after browsing thru your feed. But the real question is, "will you let it get into you?" Will you be affected or rather shrug it off?

At the end of the day, life is all about acceptance and setting of realistic expectations. The sooner you accept your current status or situation, the better. You will be able to let go of ill-feelings and you won't harbor an ounce of bitterness towards others. Besides, those people are not at fault if they have such abundance in life. I can still clearly remember what our preacher said years back  that sometimes "God will let you see how He is blessing other people." I believe He does not intend to make us feel down or bad. Maybe, it's a way of Him telling, "if I can bless these people, so do you." And if ever you still don't feel any better, just remember this: "everyone lives according to his/her own timeline," and "comparison is the thief of joy."

I know it's hard not to fret or compare. But will it add a day to your life if you worry about things you do not have at the moment? Of course, it will not. It will only stress the whole out of you, and turn you into a grumpy monster. So when I am tempted to compare, maybe, I will breathe deeply and proclaim with conviction "My time will come. Maybe not now, but in due time, it will." I believe that hardwork and pure intentions will always be rewarded at the end. You just have to be open that there is an ocean of blessings that await you.

And when you are tempted to sulk into loneliness and despair, I hope we all take time to remind ourselves, that while beauty and riches offer happiness, not all those are bound to last forever anyway. Let our security be not tied to things that are superficial and ephemeral. Beauty will fade and money can be gone (especially when mishandled). While it is good to invest in those things, I hope it will not make us lose sight of what really matters- good health, a sincere, contented and thankful heart, and a mind that's always focused on the good things, no matter what life throws on you. Those are life's priceless treasures. Those are what will really count. When you finally fully internalise what that means, it's then you can proclaim: that "I am enough."

FEAST MAKATI article- FEAST IS FAMILY

When I started attending the Feast Makati Legaspi 2 years ago, I had at least 2-3 close friends consistently attending with me. Even if it was just a small group, I was happy to feel that I found a home, where my heart truly belongs. We would even go hopping from one Feast to another, from PICC, and sometimes to BGC. Then, we started to join Caring Groups too (now called Light Group), and we get to know other attendees in this Catholic Community.

But it was not an easy climb where I effortlessly found myself uphill. Slowly, maybe because of the difference in locations and other priorities, I found myself attending the Feast alone. I would see my former CG mates, but then again, most of the time, it would be me, myself and I. It was a struggle, but I knew that the Feast keeps my life sane, it is my refuge and solace; thus, I had to go on. What inspired me back then was when I heard from our Builder that “those empty chair/s beside you will be filled with friends.” I envision that one day, I will have more Feast Buddies and friends at the Feast. And yes, even if it took some time, I did.

Bro. Randy was right in saying that you may start attending the Feast alone in your first few months at the Feast, but in two years’ time, at least, there should or will be people who will constantly keep you in company. Now, I had no longer empty chairs beside me, for they are filled with friends who will even walk with me till the UV Express Terminal. Thank you for the Feasters I met in the CGs I have been part of, and for the ministries where I volunteered; I have found another Family, my Family in God.

Had I given up a few years back and had I been overcame with doubt, I would not have met these amazing and inspiring friends I have right now. I felt good when a former CG mate complimented that even if my former Feast Buddies are no longer attending the Feast Makati anymore, here I am, still consistent in my attendance and even in service. Indeed, God will never leave you where you are. He will help you pick up the pieces. Thank you God for prodding and pushing me to simply attend and listen to the talks, even if there were times before that I have to laugh, sing, cry, and pray on my own. You have blessed me with not just one person who will keep me in constant company, but even more than what I asked for.

Maybe right now, you feel so empty and alone. If you are attending the Feast, too, don’t give up. The Feast is your family, too. There are a lot of people here who are more than willing to accompany, pray for, and listen to you. With an open heart, smile and also reach out. For in this “happiest place on earth,” no one is ever alone. J

Of All Things New

Whenever the New Year comes, I feel as if I’m closing another chapter of my life’s story. It’s an overwhelming feeling, knowing that you are about to start a new chapter of your life and fill it with more stories. Of course, we have no control as to the unexpected or unpleasant things that might come our way, but we can always set our mind to focus on the good. This is actually what I am most thankful about the New Year, as I bid goodbye to the memories of yesterday, I now have the opportunity to make things right and change things for the better. The New Year allows me to fondly reminisce the memories and to learn from the mistakes of the year that was, and to live with hope and make more dreams turn into a reality.

               A New Year is a New Beginning, which means time to start afresh. We may have regrets and mistakes during the past year, but the New Year is an opportune time to forget the hurt, pain, disappointments, and rejections we had. It is once said that it is not good to bring those ill-feelings as it would hinder the good luck coming our way. True enough, when we let go of all the negatives, we feel lighter and more capable of doing more productive things, which in the end will make us feel good about ourselves. A New Year is another chance given to us to do what we still can- to love, to apologize, to forgive, to let go, to be brave, to explore. It tells us that life is ours for the making, and not everyone is given this precious chance. Hence, we should use this chance wisely, as much as we can.

               Likewise, a New Year is the time to set our priorities and live our dreams. Were there things that you failed to do and give time to during the past year? Were there things that you were not able to pursue? Perhaps, this New Year is the best time to plan it out and fulfill that long live dream of yours. May it be to learn a new skill or hobby, meet new people, find your one true love, travel to more places- this new year is a good time to make it come true. Isn’t it exciting knowing that there is a lot you can actually do in 1 year, 12 months, 366 days? The days fly quickly, so if there’s one thing you have been yearning to do, the time to start that is Now.

               Lastly, a New Year is a promise to Change for the Better. It feels good to know that when we change calendars, we also have that feeling within that we became a better version of our self compared to how we were before. And we owe this change to all the experiences, both the good and the bad, that made us the person who were today. This New Year, we can claim that we are stronger, bolder, tougher, and wiser. And knowing that there are far more better things coming than the ones we left behind, surely, we will continue growing and improving as the days go by.

               A New Year is a New Life which we all owe to God. It is Him who grant us the number of days by which we live and breathe. I hope, that as we all welcome the Year 2016, we all say our fervent prayer of thanks and offering. We give thanks both for the triumphs and challenges of 2015, and offer to God our plans, intentions, and grandest dreams for 2016. Thank you Lord, for this precious chance and opportunity to make the most out of life.  

And as a famous song once said “Today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten.” Go ahead. Continue to write your life story with the guidance of God. Happy New Year! Claiming for a breakthrough Year 2016 with all of you!

Thank you for the 24 years :)

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood. - Helen Keller

Words cannot express how much thankful I am to God for giving me 24 years of my life. It has been a roller-coaster of a ride- sometimes I am up, sometimes down. Nevertheless, it has truly been a remarkable experience. For every teardrop that fell in my eyes, I know there is a lesson to learn and for every smile and laughter, I know there are moments to remember. Even though my life at the age of 24 is still far from perfection, and maybe will never be, I am on the point of being contented and starting to be grateful for all the blessings showered upon me. Indeed, despite all what I've been through, I believe I am overly blessed to be stressed.

I will not become the person that I am today if not for the painful sharpenings that happened in my past. There will be times that I shed tears for lingering questions which I cannot answer, but I always tell myself that what does not kill me, makes me stronger. Because I stumbled once, I learned how to dust off the dirt on my knee, heal the wounds, get up, and move on. If life does not give me what I want, I learned to shrug it off, and just keep calm and relax. If life gives you lemons, then make lemonades. Moments of sadness and pain is an opportune time for me to reflect and contemplate on my current state in life. It makes me realize that I have people who I can depend on, and I am given the skill to channel my melancholy on other productive things. I cannot and should not wallow on loneliness, forever. I am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul, I steer the ship to the direction that I want. I chose to let go of bitterness and accept myself for who I am and even for what I am not. I am not perfect, but I am learning to love myself more each day. The hardships I have been through served to make me stronger just as a gem cannot be polished without friction, nor can a life be perfected without trials. Experience and trials are what make me the person I am now. I will never learn to appreciate the glorious and bountiful days of my life, if not for those dreary and weary seasons where I almost gave up life and lose hope in the process. Much is still to be learned, to go through, to discover, but as I grow older and shall I say wiser... I am less afraid. So even with my life's up and downs, it's alright. I still believe, life is beautiful, even when dark clouds are on their way. The sun will dawn on me one day, that is always certain. :)

It's true that as you age you learn to accept things with maturity and grace. There are people and things which I may never have at all, but perhaps, there's a better reason (even if that I still cannot fathom). Things happen and do not materialize at times for the greater good. Maybe not now, or not ever, but who knows? I learned to tone down a bit, relax and calm my nerves, give myself the peace and sleep I rightfully deserve, and laugh at my silliness and foolishness rather than making a big deal out of it. Life is too short for me to dwell on what's not, or the what ifs. What matters to me now is the present, that I will do my best and give it my all and whatever will become of my future, is something which I do not make myself anxious about. Even if disappointments and frustrations came my way, and with people hurting or failing me, I get by and stand tall. What good will it give me if I sulk inside a cold dark room and shed bitter tears? Nothing. I chose to go out, feel the warmth of the sun, enjoy the company and love of the people around me, and experience new things because that is what makes me living. There will always be someone way better, successful, attractive or prettier than me. But I want the people around me to remember not for my intelligence nor my charm, but for the way I influence or inspire them and with the memories worth reminiscing that we once shared. 


For the first time in so many years that had gone by, I'd like to exclaim that I am happy...inside and out. There is nothing that can stop me for achieving my goals, dreams, and aspirations in life. The joy that comes within is overwhelming and I am proud to say that after so long, I realized that I should not depend on others for my happiness. I want to excel and help others, and doing so makes me happy and at peace with myself. I still want to write more, travel to places I have never been, meet more people who shares the same dreams and aspirations as I do. I still want to be a mother and wife in God's perfect time. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. And though I am not invincible and I have an expiration date too  (that ony God knows when), I am ready to be unstoppable and conquer the world in my own and good way. :)

To my beloved family, thanks for the countless support and for accepting me regardless of my flaws, whims, and capriciousness. We are not the ideal family, but I will not exchange what I have for other families in the world. Thank you for teaching me greatest life's lessons such as perseverance, fortitude, faith in God, independence, and optimism. Much I owe to you because I was able to face life knowing I am well-equipped with the needed gears. You will always be special in my heart, and I want to achieve more because I want to give back everything. Sorry for my shortcomings and for my bad hair days, still and all, thank you for staying with me for 24 beautiful years.

To my friends, colleagues, church mates, students, and love of my life: thank you for all the inspiration and the beautiful memories. I look forward each day of my life because I am blessed with wonderful people who enables me to learn lessons which will help me mature and have a positive outlook in life. Thank you for all the words of wisdom, compliments, sincere and honest criticism, sound advice, buckets of laughter we shared over jokes and some silly conversations. I may not be a millionaire in cash, but I am a billionaire in relationships with good people and memories worth reminiscing. I thrive and survive because I have people who make me believe in my skills, talents, and abilities. And as Stevie Wonder says, I will sing to myself "what a wonderful world..."

And for those who hurt me in one way or another, thank you for the tears in my cheek and for the wounds in my heart which mold me to a better and stronger person. It was a painful process, but I will not be toughened if I do not meet people who made me doubt myself, broke my heart, and left me. I survived, and now am flying and sailing with flying colors. For making me the brave girl I am, thank you!

From the bottom of my heart, thank you God for the 24  wonderful years. The joy and contentment that I feel radiates from the hope coming from you. Thank you for loving me as I am- despite my many failures as your child. Thank you for mending my broken heart, for helping me pick up the pieces, for making me see how beautiful and promising life is, and for giving me people who are willing to love me no matter what happens. You always save me when I am bottom pit and when everything seems bleak and hopeless. Life is undeniably amazing, because of You are a generously gracious God. What would become of me without You? That I really wonder. Finally, I learned to love myself. I never really know that happiness is something that you give to yourself, since I drew myself closer to you. I may stumble and fall again and may have wounds more difficult to heal in the future, but with You giving me strength, I can face and defy all the odds and storms in my life. Thank you for the gift of life. Thank you for the gift of inner happiness. Thank you for letting me know You better each day. That in all things, I yearn to glorify you, Lord. I love you and I always will.

I have the best 24 years of my life. I am just so blessed to have one. Thank you for joining me in this journey. :) I shall still see all of you.

Happy 24th birthday Ellen Marie. :) Keep calm, Pray, and enjoy life!

a teacher's life :D

"I'm starting the School Year 2013-2014 right!"

That has been my "mantra" ever since we get back to work last May. Sure there has been a lot of changes at work- new level, more requirements, more tasks, more demands and expectations. But all it takes is a positive attitude and a happy heart to accomplish all those. I'm pretty happy that most of my friends belong to the same Grade Level where I am currently assigned, so that means there will be less stress ( though it won't necessarily mean work is easier). I'd like to count that as a blessing and though things seem to be tough during the batch turn-over (when the former grade level teachers shared the batch profile), I would just consider all these a challenge which I will willingly and courageously surpass.

May and June is all about preparations for the upcoming new school year. There are a lot of renovations and changes going on due to the K+ 12, but I'm confident we can cope with it soon.  Thankfully, I just finished my learning plan for the entire 1st term (congratulations to me!), so I am excited to work on our classroom decorations and bulletin board. Since I am a cat lover and I am assigned as the class adviser of Grade 5C, we decided that our theme for this SY will be cats (meowwww!). Sure it will be a cute thing to see and behold, and I am just eager to see how it will look like once we are able to put them together in the classroom.

Funny thing though, but I am highly anticipating the first day of class and meeting with the students. The first day is always crucial because that means establishing all the rules and regulations, plus you have to make students feel at home and comfortable in school, but I know we can always find a way on how to make things work for both of us - teachers and students alike. After 3 years of teaching, maybe I can now confidently say I am getting the hang of it, and now is the time to step up a little further and be more aggressive at work (in a good way). I am fervently praying though that things will turn out well- with less problems with students and complaints from parents. I really have to pray hard.

I have to keep this energy up to the end of the school year. I know it's difficult to sustain the zest, but I believe no matter how tired and exhausted I become at the end of the day, teaching will always be my first love. I would not last for three years in this profession if my heart is not into it. Surely there will be obstacles along the way, but with faith and constant praying, in my heart, I strongly believe, all is well! :D

I'd like to claim that this SY 2013-2014, I will be a champion in all aspects. The odds will be in my favor. It is and it will be. I can create wonders and miracles, because I believe! :P

Cheers to the start of SY 2013-2014!

Happy teaching and enjoy learning kids!

-with love,

Ms. Llabore

dedication

He may not know what I have found

But with the look in his eyes, he completes me

And looking from afar gives the same shivers

As I know it’s him that really matters.

I may not be made whole without him

He has been my heart’s missing link

But I have been groping in the dark so long

And my love is still hanging on a cliff.

My heart longs to seek for answers

As a body which thirst for water, and I hunger.

I seek and long to hear him say

That our hearts are united and with the same rhythm.

Holding on still, on this branch, that I’m almost willing

To let go and die from this everyday hoping

Maybe of nothing, till I drown in oblivion

Loving as an unknown- is ecstatic but full of sorrow.

Still my heart, my world and my universe is his

And should he decide to take a leap

I know I would never let it go

For it’s with him that I found home- where I truly belong.

it's a date :D

After three months, oh yes, congratulate me, I had a date again! Wohooo! I've been praying for this one, seriously. And even if I did not expect that the guy would express his interest in meeting me, he did. :)

Actually, this smart guy is a very interesting person. In person, he really seems shy and inexpressive, but when he talks, oh well, you would conclude that he knows a lot. He's an engineer so expect that he's adept at math. Plus, he reads! And even reads better than I do (even if I'm the English teacher). And there's more because he sketches, and even writes. Wow naman kuya for that!

Ours was a pretty normal date. We ate snack. Watch "The Hobbit". Talked inside the movie house about what we are watching (sorry to those seated beside and in front of us, I know we are kind of chatty! hahaha). I find his expressions while watching a movie funny and weird, but nevertheless cute (it's quite hard to describe! hahaha)! A perfect gentleman, he is. The temperature in the cinema is really cold, you know, and I was surprised he offered me his jacket, which I politely refused since I was not really shivering that time.

He was my Mr. Know it all when it comes to LOTR for he watched all the three movies, and I did not! So when there are things which I am confused of, I asked him, of course. At least I have someone to help me, so that's way better than watching it all by myself. :)

Dinner was conversation time. I appreciate the opportunity to know him better. Since the movie ran for three hours and it was getting late, we decided to call it a day. And well, he accompanied me home. I know that's normal. But I don't know,I find it sweet when guys do that. Honestly, not all my dates would offer to accompany me home. Hahahaha! Would you say he was way better than all the rest? Too early to say, I guess. But let me think he is. :) At least.

It was a long walk and ride going home. And yes, he met my family (dad and brother). They were not surprised at all as I prepared them for this. But It was me who was quite surprised by his actions. He made "mano" to my dad and shook hands with my brother, and called him "bro".  Quite respectful, really. I was touched and wowed. I hate to compare, but my ex did not do that, even.  Is that a good sign?  Well, my promise is that I won't compare anymore. Promise!

All in all. He was a simple, shy type guy, yet a gentleman. My cousin was right about what he said about him. Will there be a part two? Let's see. But I hope so. Honestly, I like the feeling of having someone whom I don't have to play pretend with. He's smarter than me, so being a smart girl, too, it's easy for me to express myself. And he listens, you would see, which is good. He may not be super talkative and bubbly, but come on- it's hard to find a super sensible and deep guy nowadays.

Again, it's too early to tell. It may just be a simple and friendly date for him, but I'm just open to all possibilities and I still hoping for the best yet to come. I'll keep in touch. Who knows, it may be love this time? No need to rush. :D

It's a happy Christmas indeed. And see, I had a date before Christmas. I can't help but shed tears of joy.
God answered my prayer already. At least I will all the more have the heart to move on and forget the bad memories of yesterday, and replace them with even better ones.

Thank you God. I am ready to love again. Soon. :)


12/22/2012
PS: It's not the end of the world!!!! :P

teaching = selfless and unconditional love

Yesterday was not an easy day for me. You see, I had four classes, from 8:40- 12:00 pm , then from 1:00-2:00. My break was recess and lunch. It was physically draining, indeed.

But I don't mind getting tired physically. The only thing that can make you forget how exhausted you are is when you eat, sit down a little, and sleep (which I don't think I can do in school, waahhhhh). After some time you get used to the feeling already. However, it was not that thing I am really talking about.

My exhaustion was beside the point. My kids or my advisory class was sometimes getting the hell out of me. You see, teaching can make you a lion, at times, and worse even a dinosaur. If not for the gift of patience and what they so called tender-loving-care which is innate to me, I guess I  have long resigned from this job. But at the end of the day, and much to the laughs and teasing of my friends, they knew all along I will not really have the heart to leave teaching for so long. Why will I, they say, I am a good teacher. And most of all, I am passionate of my craft. So there.

But hey! Teaching is not a bed of roses everyday. It can be a heaven or hell on earth, depending on your student's moods, or class composition. The attitudes of my girls are so varied, and I believe-- extremes. I have the most quiet, one of the most smart, but I also have the loudest, and sometimes sensitive and moody girls. So how do you strike a balance as a teacher, with only you to handle all of them? That was a tough question to answer.

This is just my second year of being a class adviser, and I am telling you, it is a roller coaster ride. Sure they give me the reasons to smile when they are goody-goody, but they can crush my world into pieces whenever I hear negative remarks about them from my colleagues. But I guess being a teacher or a class adviser is really like that. You don't get to choose your kids, they are given to you. Thus, at the end of the day, you make do for whatever it is that's given, and you strive to mold them to the person you hope they will be. Even if the going gets tough, you stand by them. And as cliche as it may sound, you are there, never giving up.

Having this class as my advisory is a challenge for me this year. We deal with different issues everyday-- from the troubles of peer-pressure, isolation, bullying, problems with academics, friendship conflicts...the list is, endless! So forth...so on. And as I am facing them each day, trying to show that face of bravery and dependability, I realized that more than the brains and the techniques you learned from your undergrad days, it takes a well-formed character to be a good teacher. Dealing with all those issues can be terrifying. If you are emotionally unstable and unsure of yourself, how can you direct these kids to the right path? If you never worked on improving and loving yourself, how can you radiate an unconditional love to these children?

Being a teacher is indeed close to motherhood. And being with this kids makes me feel I've grown so much and that someday, I will really know the ins and outs of parenting. Being a teacher made me learn how to connect, sympathize, listen, and understand without judging. But most of all, I would say that I learned to love my kids for who they are, and even for what they are not. Everything is a matter of selfless love and unconditional acceptance. You love them because they are your kids, and at the end, all you want is simply the best for them, nothing more, nothing less.

Therefore, even if sometimes I would rather shrink and die than deal with all my kids' petty issues, I chose to stand strong and be resolute that we will all breakthrough. After all, I am their mother in school, and if I will give up on them, who else will be there to help them get up and carry on. I love them wholeheartedly, and even if they can vex me to the infinite point of no return, I know that I will still go back to them and prod them to stand when they fall. After all, that's the real essence of teaching- never giving up in believing in your students even in the bleakest of all situations.

Motivational Quotes

An article from Yahoo! Stay motivated!!!

1)It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog − Archie Griffen.

2) Nothing lasts forever. Not even your troubles − Arnold H Glasgow

3) There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle − Albert Einstein

4) Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave – Mary Tyler Moore

5) Being strong means rejoicing in who you are, complete with imperfections − Margaret Woodhouse

6) If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place − Nora Roberts

7) I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I've been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed − Michael Jordan.

8) The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary − May V. Smith

9) Where hope grows, miracles blossom − Elna Rae

10) A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing − George Bernard Shaw

11) Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent  − Eleanor Roosevelt

12) It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes − Sally Field

13) I quit being afraid when my first venture failed and the sky didn't fall down  − Allen H. Neuharth

14) Hope never abandons you, you abandon it − George Weinberg

15) Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you − Ralph Waldo Emerson

16) Awards become corroded, friends gather no dust − Jesse Owens

17) People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within − Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

18) Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance − Bruce Barton

19) Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it − John Maxwell

20) Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know that so it goes on flying anyway − Mary Kay Ash

blessings

In times like this (a difficult time, that is), I thank God for giving me a wonderful, good, caring, and supportive friend who is always there by my side. Right now, I am expecting nothing more. My dreams are not meant to come alive though, but just the fact that we are more than okay and I have someone to help me handle my emotions is a big pat on my back.

For the many good things he has done for me all throughout, I cannot help but feel indebted to him. I know he is not good in verbalizing his emotions, but somehow, the mere fact that he listens make me feel that I am special and important. That's enough for me. Someday, and that's soon, I'll find my one true love too. And I know when that day comes, my best friend will be there to cheer me up and rejoice with me.

God gives trials to those He think can manage them well. And maybe these trying moments are his way of telling me that He trusts me. So who am I to question his will, when He has been entrusting me with something big? The world is not full of bad things though, and the more I am experiencing adversities, the more I am able to celebrate and appreciate life's wonders. Now aren't those blessings enough.

I will carry on, as always. I have a good best friend, and a number of dependable friends, a good job, a promising career, a heart that cares, a passionate spirit. So what more can I ask for?

Lead me Lord. And thank you for sending me an angel. And more angels.

Thank you Alvin! You are the greatest friend one could ever have! :)

to mr. CC

Dearest Cris,

I don't know how long we'll be like this. Sometimes because you are hard to reach and you are bombarded with lots of work, it's seemingly (or really) hard to find you. I can feel; however, that you are trying. Maybe there are reasons beyond your control which hinders you to at least communicate with me. Nonetheless, my heart says, despite all the clouds of doubts and worries, that I have to hold on, as this scenario won't really last long. As it is, this is the dry spell of our relationship. I guess, soon the sun will dawn on the two of us and I shall see you again.

So when you are far away from me, I am always praying that God will shield you with His loving arms so that you will be kept safe all the time.  I can feel that it's difficult with you being far, but maybe, they are right in saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder than ever. It takes patience and fortitude though, to endure all these. Apparently, the selfish girl within me is trying to kick in, only that she wants to have you, near her, the very least. But that motive is ultimately self-centered, and a relationship, I so believe, is not merely about oneself, but in giving and taking, and understanding one another.

This time, I'd like to trust that my intuition is finally right. This time, I'd like to believe that you'll never disappear on me for reasons unknown. This time, I hold on to my belief that you are no longer enigmatic. This time, I am firm, that you will never ever fail me again. I trust you, and everyday, I am praying that you will never prove me wrong. I keep the faith, so I hope that you'll do something too. I know you will, I have high hopes. :)

I miss you. And I can't wait for that day when you'll be back. So in the meantime, I'll keep praying that you are fine. I know I'll see you again. Soon. :)

I love you.

someday

SOMEDAY

“When someone walks away from you, it’s not the end of your story.

It’s the end of their role in your story.”

                People come and go. At times, due to this, we are intensely perplexed by the seemingly fleetingness of things. It’s true, letting go is always easier said than done.  Acceptance will always be a pain in the neck; nonetheless, it’s still a bitter pill we have to swallow. We are left with no choice.

                Heartbreaks are always terrifying. But when you attach yourself to somebody, there is that chance of getting hurt, whether we like it or not.  However, who would like to fully embrace pain? True enough, it is something all humans dread. Most certainly, it is.

                Even if it sounds so throbbing, we all have to accept life’s reality, that not all people are meant to stay with us forever. Again, people will come and get to know you, and later on leave, sometimes even without warning. We may be left questioning, lingering, wondering, and agonizing but what’s the use? We will shed a bitter tear, only to realize, tearing up may not be worth it.

                Acceptance is always the sure key. I want to use the word forgetting, but acceptance would sound better since it implies that you let go without ill-feelings. Forgetting may suggest totally eradicating that person in your life, up to the point of scrapping even the memories in your head. But how easy it is to accept? Is it still possible? Of course it is, but then again, it’s something that we must do courageously, with willingness that is.

                When people leave we will surely ask ourselves why this sort of things happened. I, too, felt the same way. I lost all the desire to believe in myself and to look forward to what life could still give me. I asked why the world is unfair to me, when all I am ever hoping for is to find my “one true love”. Hearing myself say all those things, I was dumbfounded. But who else will help me cope with the loss but myself? I cannot totally rely on other people. Yes, they are there to guide me, give me pieces of advice, and enlightenment, but it is still me who will do all the working. I have to affirm my belief in myself, be strong, move forward, and carry on. Indeed, there’s wisdom in experiencing hurdles like these. I learned how to be strong amidst travails and to hold on to God, the ONE who will never let me go.

                At this point of my life, I have been through a lot. And I know for sure, that more people will come and go in my life. But should this be a reason for us to be afraid? Knowing how fleeting relationships may last, how else can we find security? Pause for a while, ask, why be clouded with paranoia? If people will leave us, for sure, there are reasons. Reasons that we may not fully understand now, but in HIS time, we will, certainly.

                Some people will come in our lives momentarily. They may be here to open our eyes and perhaps teach us a lesson. Whether we like it or not, others’ role may be to hurt us and make us cry, so that we may be strengthened. And through all the pains, we discover the beauty of pain, seeing that through hurting we will learn to explore, take risks, and even marvel that God has given us much support system from family and friends. As demanding as it may sound, it will still be best not to harbour grudges and bitterness just because a person left a scar in your heart. As martyr as it may sound, but if we embrace bitterness, we are the one losing at the end. Bitterness hinders us to see the beauty that life has yet to offer. Life is wonderful, full of beautiful people and great things that are yet to come. And if we are clouded by the obscure clouds brought by bitterness, we are losing the many marvellous opportunities in life. So why be bitter? Let go, move on, and if things do not work the way we want it to be, accept it. Besides, God will not allow something to happen without a purpose. Something better is in store.

                So if someone broke my heart and will do the same just again, I won’t be bothered. If the same things happen twice and maybe more than, it’s an opportunity for us to learn. For every downfall, the key is to learn the lesson and hopefully be wiser, better, and not to repeat the same mistakes. Problems should not transform us into chicken-hearted individuals, rather as soldiers who are equipped with shields ready for any battle. I am not afraid to face life, and in the right time, I am ready to love wholeheartedly. It will take time though, I guess. What I will do today is to be more optimistic and embrace all the positivities that at the end I may attract the good energies.

                The universe has its own course. Time will heal all wounds. So if you do experience rejection today, strive to make yourself better. Every day is a chance to learn and discover our self. True, there are so much that we can do.  The challenge is ours for the taking. Despite the pain, is the call of picking up the pieces of life with God’s help, and at the end we will all see and perhaps even conclude, that whatever it was that we experienced, was for the better. We may even find out, it was God’s act of saving us from the wrong one, that of which we will surely be thankful.

                For now, I am accepting the turn-about of things, letting go of the negative thoughts, and moving forward with a joyful heart. God is working through my life, so what could be more better than that? I will rejoice and celebrate because I have thousands of good things in store and a number of opportunities are mine for the taking. Someday, when the right time comes, I will surely find the one who is destined for me. And when that time in my life comes, I will surely thank God for all the heartaches I’ve been through, for by saving me from the wrong one, He lead me to my soul mate. That day I will look forward with hope and anticipation, but in the meantime, I will discover myself first, get to know more people, be of good influence to others, and serve God wholeheartedly. I will meet him when I am most ready. Someday. God knows when, so I  trust HIM, completely.

trying to be optimistic

There's always something wrong with me.

I may be a smart, brilliant, intelligent, and ideal daughter and student, but then...there's still something missing.

People admired me for being who I am. Parents want their children to emulate me. For some, they looked up to me as the role model of their children. There was even a neighbor who considers me as her inspiration to pursue harder in her studies. It's quite good. But that's  not where it ends.

It's not enough.

People see me as a superwoman.

They think I'm tough. They admired me for simply being who I am.

I am an achiever for them, and at times, they just wanted to be me. My cousin even said..."it's hard to reach what you already have had achieved. " If that's the case, I should be happy. I should be smiling and jumping with joy right now. I should be proud of myself. However, I am not. I feel that all these....it's not enough to make me happy. It makes me proud of myself at certain points, but there comes a time when I feel I love what I doing, but I am yearning for some changes, for something new to come.

Maybe then, life could be better when it is simpler. The simpler it is, the lesser the hassles and complications. By that, I guess that will make me happier. If only I could turn back time and enjoy life...I will. I feel that I just can't turn back. Jim was right in saying that I am always afraid of what people might think. I'm overly conscious of people's reactions. Could it be because I know people looked up to me as someone worth admiring? Should I blame them for regarding me highly so the pressure is then highly accumulating in my head? I guess so. If not of those...then maybe, I can better live my life the way I wanted it to be. I shouldn't have showed them so much. After all, I am just human. I get hurt and tired.

And so I'm tired of this world. This world where you are at the pillars and there's people counting on you. Or maybe, behind all those people, lies a detractor..a person who is listlessly praying for my downfall, and when that time comes...he/she is gonna laugh so mischievously. I don't know..yes..we can never know. In this dog-eat world, you can never trust anyone. There will always be that person who will end up betraying you, no matter whatever kindness you showed for him/her.

I'm tired of being too ideal. I'm not your ideal girl. I want to come out of this cage. I have my limits. Yes...they should've known. I'm looking for something, no matter what achievement I had right now. I envy people who are happy with their families and all those people who are happy and contented with their special someone. For how many years, I have been constantly trying to improve myself. From the obese girl that I once was, I lost weight. I was really an ugly duckling before, but I'm trying hard to look my very best when I am with people. At times, I feel that it's not already me. I'm putting myself a mask just to please people. I'm putting so much stress and pressure on myself....it's too tedious..but I'm still doing it just because I want to feel the love, care and acceptance, not just of people, not just of friends, but the possibility that there is a man who'll be trapped by cupid. I waited, still waited and waiting up until now.

It has been too long, and the search ...is never successful. My attempts, were all futile. It's true, I can never have the best of both worlds. I may be successful with one, but fail on the other. We cannot conquer everything. So I may have a good career, but love will always be my water-loo...my greatest frustration. I came from a dysfunctional family, and now it seems I can never have my own.  Sometimes, I even envy my parents. They are happy with their own LOVED ONES. While me, I don't even have one, whence I should be the one to have such relationships. That's the irony of the world. But that's life and the thing that I will do last is to blame God. That's too mean of me. I don't want to come a day that because of all my frustrations, that will happen to me.

I know I don't know how to play the game of love. If only there is a course for it, I will surely enroll on it. It seems that all of the persons in the world, I'm the one who has no appeal at all. I'm nerdy, boring and Grade conscious for them. That's all. I'm too kind, conservative, but tell me, is it wrong to do what you think is good? Just because everyone is doing it, am I supposed to go with the flow? Can I not go against the current, and sail my boat in the path that I think is right?  It's a hard decision. You try to be righteous, but at the end, you end up being alone, while all the people are having the time of their life. This is the price I have to pay for being so good....loneliness, and I tell you, it kind of sucks.

I am not so sure how long I can take this situation. I know people are just waiting for the worst things to come. I hope and pray that I still end up doing what I believe is right, and enjoy to the point that I am not off the limits. I know that's possible anyway, but there will always be certain consequences. I hope the Lord will lead my way...I don't want to despair and lose hope. At the end of the day, no matter how strong the frustration and depression, optimism will still prevail and take it's course. If I quit and give in, I will be the one who ends up as the loser. It's not their defeat, it's mine. And unless I'm really insane, I won't allow that to happen. Not now, not never, not when my dreams are almost within my reach. Love will be there, but if there is none...maybe there is something better in store. I'll try to stop and control the tears from welling in my eyes. It will do no good. I will feel better, sooner. And love, I'll just think about that later...if it will just be the hindrance for my dreams...then let there be no love for me at all. I'll trust in God's way and plans. Who knows, I will end up thanking HIM, for he has HIS own plans, and for sure, it will be for my own good.