Words cannot express how much thankful I am to God for giving me 24 years of my life. It has been a roller-coaster of a ride- sometimes I am up, sometimes down. Nevertheless, it has truly been a remarkable experience. For every teardrop that fell in my eyes, I know there is a lesson to learn and for every smile and laughter, I know there are moments to remember. Even though my life at the age of 24 is still far from perfection, and maybe will never be, I am on the point of being contented and starting to be grateful for all the blessings showered upon me. Indeed, despite all what I've been through, I believe I am overly blessed to be stressed.
I will not become the person that I am today if not for the painful sharpenings that happened in my past. There will be times that I shed tears for lingering questions which I cannot answer, but I always tell myself that what does not kill me, makes me stronger. Because I stumbled once, I learned how to dust off the dirt on my knee, heal the wounds, get up, and move on. If life does not give me what I want, I learned to shrug it off, and just keep calm and relax. If life gives you lemons, then make lemonades. Moments of sadness and pain is an opportune time for me to reflect and contemplate on my current state in life. It makes me realize that I have people who I can depend on, and I am given the skill to channel my melancholy on other productive things. I cannot and should not wallow on loneliness, forever. I am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul, I steer the ship to the direction that I want. I chose to let go of bitterness and accept myself for who I am and even for what I am not. I am not perfect, but I am learning to love myself more each day. The hardships I have been through served to make me stronger just as a gem cannot be polished without friction, nor can a life be perfected without trials. Experience and trials are what make me the person I am now. I will never learn to appreciate the glorious and bountiful days of my life, if not for those dreary and weary seasons where I almost gave up life and lose hope in the process. Much is still to be learned, to go through, to discover, but as I grow older and shall I say wiser... I am less afraid. So even with my life's up and downs, it's alright. I still believe, life is beautiful, even when dark clouds are on their way. The sun will dawn on me one day, that is always certain. :)
It's true that as you age you learn to accept things with maturity and grace. There are people and things which I may never have at all, but perhaps, there's a better reason (even if that I still cannot fathom). Things happen and do not materialize at times for the greater good. Maybe not now, or not ever, but who knows? I learned to tone down a bit, relax and calm my nerves, give myself the peace and sleep I rightfully deserve, and laugh at my silliness and foolishness rather than making a big deal out of it. Life is too short for me to dwell on what's not, or the what ifs. What matters to me now is the present, that I will do my best and give it my all and whatever will become of my future, is something which I do not make myself anxious about. Even if disappointments and frustrations came my way, and with people hurting or failing me, I get by and stand tall. What good will it give me if I sulk inside a cold dark room and shed bitter tears? Nothing. I chose to go out, feel the warmth of the sun, enjoy the company and love of the people around me, and experience new things because that is what makes me living. There will always be someone way better, successful, attractive or prettier than me. But I want the people around me to remember not for my intelligence nor my charm, but for the way I influence or inspire them and with the memories worth reminiscing that we once shared.
For the first time in so many years that had gone by, I'd like to exclaim that I am happy...inside and out. There is nothing that can stop me for achieving my goals, dreams, and aspirations in life. The joy that comes within is overwhelming and I am proud to say that after so long, I realized that I should not depend on others for my happiness. I want to excel and help others, and doing so makes me happy and at peace with myself. I still want to write more, travel to places I have never been, meet more people who shares the same dreams and aspirations as I do. I still want to be a mother and wife in God's perfect time. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. And though I am not invincible and I have an expiration date too (that ony God knows when), I am ready to be unstoppable and conquer the world in my own and good way. :)
To my beloved family, thanks for the countless support and for accepting me regardless of my flaws, whims, and capriciousness. We are not the ideal family, but I will not exchange what I have for other families in the world. Thank you for teaching me greatest life's lessons such as perseverance, fortitude, faith in God, independence, and optimism. Much I owe to you because I was able to face life knowing I am well-equipped with the needed gears. You will always be special in my heart, and I want to achieve more because I want to give back everything. Sorry for my shortcomings and for my bad hair days, still and all, thank you for staying with me for 24 beautiful years.
To my friends, colleagues, church mates, students, and love of my life: thank you for all the inspiration and the beautiful memories. I look forward each day of my life because I am blessed with wonderful people who enables me to learn lessons which will help me mature and have a positive outlook in life. Thank you for all the words of wisdom, compliments, sincere and honest criticism, sound advice, buckets of laughter we shared over jokes and some silly conversations. I may not be a millionaire in cash, but I am a billionaire in relationships with good people and memories worth reminiscing. I thrive and survive because I have people who make me believe in my skills, talents, and abilities. And as Stevie Wonder says, I will sing to myself "what a wonderful world..."
And for those who hurt me in one way or another, thank you for the tears in my cheek and for the wounds in my heart which mold me to a better and stronger person. It was a painful process, but I will not be toughened if I do not meet people who made me doubt myself, broke my heart, and left me. I survived, and now am flying and sailing with flying colors. For making me the brave girl I am, thank you!
From the bottom of my heart, thank you God for the 24 wonderful years. The joy and contentment that I feel radiates from the hope coming from you. Thank you for loving me as I am- despite my many failures as your child. Thank you for mending my broken heart, for helping me pick up the pieces, for making me see how beautiful and promising life is, and for giving me people who are willing to love me no matter what happens. You always save me when I am bottom pit and when everything seems bleak and hopeless. Life is undeniably amazing, because of You are a generously gracious God. What would become of me without You? That I really wonder. Finally, I learned to love myself. I never really know that happiness is something that you give to yourself, since I drew myself closer to you. I may stumble and fall again and may have wounds more difficult to heal in the future, but with You giving me strength, I can face and defy all the odds and storms in my life. Thank you for the gift of life. Thank you for the gift of inner happiness. Thank you for letting me know You better each day. That in all things, I yearn to glorify you, Lord. I love you and I always will.
I have the best 24 years of my life. I am just so blessed to have one. Thank you for joining me in this journey. :) I shall still see all of you.
Happy 24th birthday Ellen Marie. :) Keep calm, Pray, and enjoy life!
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