For the first time in forever, and after so many years, priorities are starting to kick in my life. Recently I just added another year in my life, and perhaps I should owe these setting of priorities with the change in age. It's not that I don't want fun anymore, but I guess I wanted to be more serious about what I plan and envision of my future.
I guess I'm no longer the overly excited gal who would want to go home late and party left and right. Whenever I go home late, I feel uncomfortable sometimes. Part of me wants to rest and just spend my time meaningfully either reading, cooking, sleeping, watching a movie, going to church, and talking/bonding with my family and pet. I don't know if this is abnormal, but I seem to starting to bid goodbye to the wee hours of the night girl- who can still stay up at 3am and go to work at 5 in the morning. We are really getting older, indeed. Maybe because our body ages as we grow older, too. Needless to say, I don't dread all the changes. In fact, I am openly adapting to it.
I also came to realize that nothing is perfect in life and love. I learned to love and accept my family for who they are, and even for what they are not. Even if my boyfriend and I do have occasional fights, part of me would always go for quick reconciliation, and I really try my best to understand that nothing is perfect, and he's also trying his best to understand and accept me, despite all my quirkiness and stubbornness. At the end of the day, I know we choose to make a relationship work, and despite all the odds, you just won't give up. I know there are still more trials and hurdles to come my way, our way, but I just close my eyes and utter a meaningful prayer. All will be well, I just have to keep the faith.
Recently, I learned to value myself for who I am, and try my best to work on self-improvement. The improvement need not to be physical, but it's more of the emotional and spiritual side. I learned to appreciate the beauty in me, that I will never be perfect, and no one is. But still, I have been given much talents which I can use to help and inspire others. I know that I should learn to humble myself and acknowledge my faults, because humility will always make a better person out of me. If I am wrong, I should admit it, even if it is still hard. I am admittedly a person full of pride, but believe me, I am trying day by day.
Also, There are mistakes which I made, and perhaps are already irreparable. As it is, I should constantly strive to look at life in another light. It's no use crying over spilled milk, which goes to say, there are people who I have to let go, because I know I should learn to love myself, too. It won't hurt a bit if I value myself because I deserve it more than anything else. This time, I know I should give myself the love and respect I deserve. It's a painful process I have to endure, but I remain steadfast in my belief that there is no trial given to us that we cannot overcome.
My life is still far from perfect. But this time, even with all the failures, I want to live life with a clear purpose. I have to work harder because I want a good future for my family, and the family I will build in the future with the man I love. I want to enjoy life as a single lady and make my life productive as ever. One day, I know I will have to settle down and prioritize being a mother and wife to my husband and our future kids. I want to be a good mother and wife, too. And that can only be achieved and fulfilled if I make the most out of my life while I'm single.
I am setting my priorities straight this time. Life is tough, and so am I. I am still praying that all these dreams of mine will be fulfilled, in His perfect time. :)
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