Most of the time, I feel I am a
wallflower –left unplucked, unappreciated, unnoticed, that even if I disappear,
nobody would dare look for me. This is likewise tantamount to being lonely and
feeling unloved and worthless – and everyday is a torture specially when you
realize the difference of living in a couples’ world, and here you are, single
since birth.
Sure enough, being single in a
world surrounded by lovers is both agonizing and terrorizing. Whenever I see
couples hold hands, talk softly, and lovingly cuddle each other, jealousy,
envy, and self-pity are clothing me. Seeing
all those made me question myself and my worth as a young lady and it
also made me feel that I am left behind. I am a certified No Boyfriend Since
Birth. Such a shame? Well, it kills. Because of that, I hate Valentine’s day,
and even dread celebrating Christmas, as I can feel the coldness of the air.
I will be a hypocrite if I don’t
admit that I would have times that I wake up and wish that I better be dead for
I can’t take the loneliness anymore. I’ve been single and looking for so long and at 22 years old,
the pressure of searching for that one is on.
In fact, I am tired of people questioning my singlehood, because in
reality, I really do not know why the heck no one seems to love, appreciate,
and take me seriously. Am I not attractive enough? Am I not a girlfriend
material? For so long, I wallowed myself in tears and my view of the world is
so obscure and I feel I am cursed. Good enough, I realized that those were not
reasons enough to fret, forever. Hence, I am slowly having a change of heart.
The transition from being a
negatron to being an optimist prime was not a facile pursuit for me. It is
indeed a painstaking undertaking, like a bitter pill I have to swallow so I
will eventually heal. Slowly, I am trying my very best to change my perspective
for I cannot change what’s happening in life, but I can change how I perceive
things. Singlehood is not a curse, rather it is a gift to be celebrated because
it is the time when one can discover him/herself the best and explore what the
world can offer.
As a young, beautiful, charming,
smart, and lovable lady (I claim it), God has granted me a lot of good
opportunities in life to know myself better, unleash my potentialities so I can
shine in my own and unique way. Indeed, being single is the opportune time for
a person to discover oneself and improve on their strengths and work on their
weaknesses. Likewise, it is during singlehood when you can be a vagabond and
wander around the world so that you can appreciate the beauty of life.
Moreover, it is the time when you can gain more friends and enjoy their company
and accompanying bliss. Furthermore, it is when you can be with your family,
feel their love, caring, and support the most. By being single, you have all
the time to work for self-improvement and invest for a better future while
being open to the idea of getting to know more people and staying connected,
and by spreading yourself and enjoying, you may eventually find your “one true
love”.
The bouts of loneliness may come
from time to time, but that is a test of a single person’s character. Whether
you are single, in a relationship, or married, we will all experience the
feeling of being alone at times, and by being able to topple that feeling when
you are single as you are able to see rainbows despite the gloomy skies signify that you have fortitude to withstand
all the hurdles that may come with being in a relationship or being married.
Contrary to popular belief, being committed is not a bed of roses. In a
relationship, you will have to deal with a person entirely different from you
and that entails patience and courage. If a person is not sure of him/herself
as a single, then being in a relationship will not guarantee happiness either.
Therefore, I have learned that
as a single lady, I have to learn how to find simple joys in life so I can
radiate that positive spirit, make it contagious, so that I can share it with
others. If I will just sulk and keep tearing up, then how else can I be happy
even if I enter into a relationship? That then would mean that whenever I am
confronted with challenges, I will easily give up and whine. This is the
perfect time so that I can make myself a precious and priced gem so at the end,
I will be sought after and will be coveted. Now is the time to feel complete
and certain of my abilities, and not to wait for that someone to complete me
and affirm my strengths.
I have all the time in the world
to learn, to sail, to fly, to travel, to have fun, to relax, and to enjoy, and
I will make good use of this time for I know a day will come when I cannot do
this on my own anymore. Someday soon, I know I will meet my one true love, so I
am constantly seeking to be the best and striving to meet more people. Honestly,
I feel so blessed because not everyone is given the opportunity to discover
herself fully and keep connected to God. As I learn new things about myself
every day, I get closer to God as well, and eventually I have learned to be
grateful for even the simplest things. True enough, He is making the way for me
and perhaps by now He is wrapping the best gift He could ever give me – the
right person at the right time. I just have to believe, remain optimistic, and
keep the faith – and with all those, I know I will never fail.
So if there are moments of doubt
and when the feeling of emptiness
hovers, I know it won’t last long because God is backing me up. I may be
single, but I am blessed, in fact, overwhelmingly, it’s just a matter of appreciating
things. And if I ever get impatient and
envious, time and again, I will whisper a prayer and tell myself, be still and
know that God is there. Besides, God knows my heart’s desires and with faith,
effort, and prayer, I know, one day, I will meet my one true love. By then, I
may be thanking God that He somehow delayed my love story compared to others so
that I can be the best that I can be – strong, happy, confident, courageous,
and prayerful. With God by my side, it is guaranteed, I am on the right track,
all the time.
I so believe. Amen.
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