love thoughts

I am happy and contented. Life has been a breeze lately. Though there are still things which are lower than my expectations (and my fantasies do not come alive), so far, things are getting better. As I said, we are both trying to work it out. And because he's not aware that this relationship is still not open to the public (hence, kept as a secret), this blog will be my constant confidant. Until such time that I believe I can broadcast it to everyone, I will still keep mum about it.

I am not ashamed of Cris. He's a good guy and I know he's worthy of the love I am giving him. It's just that, when I come out of the open, I just want to be ready and really sure of things. For sure people will ask and interrogate me, especially that it has really been a long time since I was single (in fact since birth). But I really wanted to be sure before everyone knows. In fact, my mom is not aware of it, yet.

Yet, I am indeed happy about the turn-about of things. As for the effort, I can see how he's trying to reach out more (maybe he has learned his lesson). Apparently, he is not your usual or conservative type of guy. I don't think he believes in courtship either. And here I am, a girl who's blinded by the ideal romance stories I've seen on TV, movies, or read in books. But he's just not like that, I know he likes me, and as I see, the moment I gave him that Yes, he's more persistent in proving that he's indeed the right one. It's like a "love me now, and I'll court you forever drama."  And what I really like about the things he just said is that he's willing to wait until such time I'm  ready to love him wholeheartedly. The mutual affection is there. We both like each other. I guess it's him who's more certain that this is love. And he's in no rush to make me feel the same, because he knows or believes, eventually, we will be on the same page.

I can certainly feel that this time, he won't fail me. In fact, it's no longer nerve wracking and the paranoia gets lesser and lesser everyday. I'm happy and contented. I have no regrets that I decided to take a risk, and I hope and pray, that it will always remain this way. I'm willing to do what's right and what's best to make this relationship work. With prayers and faith in God, Cris and I can both make it happen. It may not be the perfect and ideal relationship, but as long as we are both happy and contented, that's all that matters.

_CC