from a guy's perspective

Something to make guys happy

1. sweet nothings - kahit feeling mo walang kwenta yung sinabi mo, ang mahalaga marinig ko boses mo

2. your understanding - although this takes time. it's like the line from a song - "isang tingin mo lang at ako'y mapapaamo. yakapin mong minsan, ay muling magbabalik sa yo nang walang kalaban-laban". Yung ganyang effect. No words. But full of understanding.

3. when you stand by our side. sometimes, i don't need too much - your comforting words, warm hug, consoling kiss - sometimes, just being there by my side is all i need.

4. magaling humirit. someone who's spontaneous and can make boring things seem interesting. di naman pang-stand up comedian yung galing. basta ba may sense of humor. 

5. honest. if you really don't like things that i'm doing, say it the first time. guys are people who just do things spontaneously. sometimes we have terrible manners/etiquette. in some aspects, we may act like untamed, wild, undomesticated wild beasts. tell us. sometimes, all we need is an honest remark. and we appreciate if my gf will tell me what she doesn't' like about me.

6. set your rules. i'll set my rules... in this relationship. kung anuman di magtugma, pag-usapan natin. 
and this will go a long way. it's not just because i want this and 'everyone is doing this and that' doesn't mean 'we' need to do it too... like sex. i'll be honest. regardless of virginity and/or past relationships. refer to number 5.

7. once numbers 5 and 6 are set in motion, next is moderation. guys like to be in control. but it doesn't mean that we have to be in control for everything. that's why this is called a relationship. it's not dictatorship or slavery. 

8. compromise. matutong makipagtawaran. di lang naman sa dv or sa kumpisalan ito uso. kahit sa relationship. you can't have everything. minsan pati sched sa work, family, and/or church nagkakaroon ng clash sa relationship. 

9. speaking of tawaran. nakakataba ng puso pagkatapos ng away,tampuhan,LQ, or kung anuman ang bagong tawag sa ayaw ng magnobya, forgiveness and reconciliation. sometimes, kailangan lunukin ang pride. sometimes, kailangan ako ang mag-sorry. kung kayang wag palakihin at ayusin, mas ayos. the three steps for patching things up - i'm sorry, please forgive me, what can i do next time? 

10. self-importance. we like to be in control but it doesn't mean na magpaka-martyr kayo. it boosts our ego. it opens the potential for seeing other girls and giving rise to jealousy issues. and eventually, a big cold silent war. 
kung pasaway ako, iwanan mo ko. malay mo matauhan ako at malaman ko kung gaano kalaki ang mawawala sa akin pag hinayaan kung mawala ka sa buhay mo. maliban na lang kung bato ko. kasi pati kidlat, wa-epek.

11. unless i'm a very spiritual person who feels God and His presence, i will be happy if you will not force me to incorporate your religious rituals in my life. i have my own set of beliefs. i see religion in my own perspective. i can accompany you but i won't promise that i will feel very comfortable every time. 
in other words, if di ako pala-simba, don't force me. you can trick me but it's still the same. pero baka isipin mo na kung mahal ka talaga ng guy, dapat samahan ka niya sa church. then again, as i mentioned, i have my own beliefs. 

(this is just another perspective esp for non-religious people. i want people to understand you. it's like going to the same place but taking another alternate road)

11. (alternative) a different version of number 11. i would love if you'd attend some religious rituals with me. again, if you're not comfortable, refer to the being honest entry. this would set boundary and i need to respect it.  

12. appreciate change. it's hard to adapt to change. but it's part of life. if kailangang mag-adapt, although nahihirapan ka, para sa sarili ko at para sa relationship natin, kailangan nating gawin to. if the relationship doesn't work, then again, appreciate change. maybe it's not meant to be. maybe nagloloko na lang ako or di ko na na-set nang maayos goals ko. maybe it's another reason. or maybe it's for the better. kaya siguro ako nasa ibang bansa para pag-ipunan married life ko with you 

13. lastly, the most important thing that makes me happy is....
what else?
or should i say...
who else?

of course, you

even if you haven't put on your make up. even if you're only wearing house clothes. even if you haven't fixed your hair yet. i don't care. the moment i see you, i am already happy.
sometimes, you're makulit, to the point that i might think you're nagging. but since i love you so much, i'd consider it part of your lambing.
i may have the man's pride. but if i see that your eyes began to look watery, i'd swallow that pride. i don't want to see you cry. i would do anything because i love you more than anything.
if i make you feel uncomfortable, forgive me. if you think that i'm going beyond how i should treat you, give me a cold shower or splash a cold water to my face. maybe it's my hormones or it's part of human nature. or i feel pressured. whatever my reasons are, please remind me that the principle of love precedes everything else.

and lastly, to answer the comments of those who posted in the previous thread. girls, you've done nothing wrong. 

sometimes, if you think that you're saying too much or acting too much, it doesn't matter. you matter most.

*****credits: kerygma forumer: thirteenflip

from a guy's perspective

Something to make guys happy

1. sweet nothings - kahit feeling mo walang kwenta yung sinabi mo, ang mahalaga marinig ko boses mo

2. your understanding - although this takes time. it's like the line from a song - "isang tingin mo lang at ako'y mapapaamo. yakapin mong minsan, ay muling magbabalik sa yo nang walang kalaban-laban". Yung ganyang effect. No words. But full of understanding.

3. when you stand by our side. sometimes, i don't need too much - your comforting words, warm hug, consoling kiss - sometimes, just being there by my side is all i need.

4. magaling humirit. someone who's spontaneous and can make boring things seem interesting. di naman pang-stand up comedian yung galing. basta ba may sense of humor. 

5. honest. if you really don't like things that i'm doing, say it the first time. guys are people who just do things spontaneously. sometimes we have terrible manners/etiquette. in some aspects, we may act like untamed, wild, undomesticated wild beasts. tell us. sometimes, all we need is an honest remark. and we appreciate if my gf will tell me what she doesn't' like about me.

6. set your rules. i'll set my rules... in this relationship. kung anuman di magtugma, pag-usapan natin. 
and this will go a long way. it's not just because i want this and 'everyone is doing this and that' doesn't mean 'we' need to do it too... like sex. i'll be honest. regardless of virginity and/or past relationships. refer to number 5.

7. once numbers 5 and 6 are set in motion, next is moderation. guys like to be in control. but it doesn't mean that we have to be in control for everything. that's why this is called a relationship. it's not dictatorship or slavery. 

8. compromise. matutong makipagtawaran. di lang naman sa dv or sa kumpisalan ito uso. kahit sa relationship. you can't have everything. minsan pati sched sa work, family, and/or church nagkakaroon ng clash sa relationship. 

9. speaking of tawaran. nakakataba ng puso pagkatapos ng away,tampuhan,LQ, or kung anuman ang bagong tawag sa ayaw ng magnobya, forgiveness and reconciliation. sometimes, kailangan lunukin ang pride. sometimes, kailangan ako ang mag-sorry. kung kayang wag palakihin at ayusin, mas ayos. the three steps for patching things up - i'm sorry, please forgive me, what can i do next time? 

10. self-importance. we like to be in control but it doesn't mean na magpaka-martyr kayo. it boosts our ego. it opens the potential for seeing other girls and giving rise to jealousy issues. and eventually, a big cold silent war. 
kung pasaway ako, iwanan mo ko. malay mo matauhan ako at malaman ko kung gaano kalaki ang mawawala sa akin pag hinayaan kung mawala ka sa buhay mo. maliban na lang kung bato ko. kasi pati kidlat, wa-epek.

11. unless i'm a very spiritual person who feels God and His presence, i will be happy if you will not force me to incorporate your religious rituals in my life. i have my own set of beliefs. i see religion in my own perspective. i can accompany you but i won't promise that i will feel very comfortable every time. 
in other words, if di ako pala-simba, don't force me. you can trick me but it's still the same. pero baka isipin mo na kung mahal ka talaga ng guy, dapat samahan ka niya sa church. then again, as i mentioned, i have my own beliefs. 

(this is just another perspective esp for non-religious people. i want people to understand you. it's like going to the same place but taking another alternate road)

11. (alternative) a different version of number 11. i would love if you'd attend some religious rituals with me. again, if you're not comfortable, refer to the being honest entry. this would set boundary and i need to respect it.  

12. appreciate change. it's hard to adapt to change. but it's part of life. if kailangang mag-adapt, although nahihirapan ka, para sa sarili ko at para sa relationship natin, kailangan nating gawin to. if the relationship doesn't work, then again, appreciate change. maybe it's not meant to be. maybe nagloloko na lang ako or di ko na na-set nang maayos goals ko. maybe it's another reason. or maybe it's for the better. kaya siguro ako nasa ibang bansa para pag-ipunan married life ko with you 

13. lastly, the most important thing that makes me happy is....
what else?
or should i say...
who else?

of course, you

even if you haven't put on your make up. even if you're only wearing house clothes. even if you haven't fixed your hair yet. i don't care. the moment i see you, i am already happy.
sometimes, you're makulit, to the point that i might think you're nagging. but since i love you so much, i'd consider it part of your lambing.
i may have the man's pride. but if i see that your eyes began to look watery, i'd swallow that pride. i don't want to see you cry. i would do anything because i love you more than anything.
if i make you feel uncomfortable, forgive me. if you think that i'm going beyond how i should treat you, give me a cold shower or splash a cold water to my face. maybe it's my hormones or it's part of human nature. or i feel pressured. whatever my reasons are, please remind me that the principle of love precedes everything else.

and lastly, to answer the comments of those who posted in the previous thread. girls, you've done nothing wrong. 

sometimes, if you think that you're saying too much or acting too much, it doesn't matter. you matter most.

***credits from thriteenflip @kerygma forum

girls and guys, read!!!!

"Ang mga babae, madaldal/mabunganga." Oo, wala talagang tigil ang bibig nila sa pag-rachada sa kakasalita. Lalo na sa tuwing pinapaalala nila sayo na oras na para inumin ang iyong gamot, kapag nagtatanung sila kung kumain ka na ba, kapag ginising ka nila sa umaga upang hindi ma-late at sa mga pagkakataon na nag-aalala sila sayo at tinatanung kung nasaan ka na at bakit hindi ka pa umuuwi. Walang duda, madaldal nga. Hayaan mo na, balang araw, siguro magbabago din sila. Tipong maririnig mo lang eh "Oo", "Hindi" at "Pwede". Para kayong naglalaro ng Pinoy Henyo. Romantic siguro ng buhay nyo nun.

"Ang mga babae, masyadong sentimental." Sinabi mo pa. Tandang tanda nga nila ang petsa at lugar kung saan kayo unang nag-date, isinulat niya din sa kanyang diary kung ano ang mga ginawa ninyo, nakatago at ingat na ingat siya sa mga larawan ninyong dalawa, daig pa niya ang Smithsonian sa pag-aalaga ng mga iniregalo mo at kahit kailan hindi niya nalilimutan ang mga importanteng okasyon tulad ng anniversary, monthsary, weeksary o birthday mo. Nakaka-inis ba? Ok lang yan, malay mo next time, hindi na siya ganun. Tipong i-aasa na lang niya sa Facebook ang iyong kaarawan. Tapos tamang post na lang sa wall mo ng "happy bday". 

"Ang mga babae, emotional." They cry about movies. They get teary with a romantic novel. They blush and gasp upon seeing a picture of a cute dog or a cuddly baby. Bakit ba ganun sila? Buti na lang tayo hindi. Kinikimkim lang natin lahat ng emosyon sa loob hanggang sa sumabog at atakihin sa puso o di naman kaya eh magpapakalasing tapos magwawala at maghahamon ng wrestling. Di ba mas logical un? Madalas pa mag-imagine na ikakasal kayo sa simbahan. Lagi nag a-iloveyou, imissyou, take care at mwah mwah sa text. Asar ka na ba at nacocornihan? Ayos lang yan. Darating din siguro ang time na titigil siya at icsend ang mga un sa iba. Women are probably the greatest gift to men, from God, beside beer and sizzling sisig. At para sakin, women deserve all advantages, lalo na sa pag-ibig. 

Sana lahat ng babae ay maging masaya ang lovelife. Sana, walang babaeng heart-broken, kasi, tayong mga lalake, we're meant to pursue them and it's okay if we fail from time to time. It's the way nature intended it. Gaya ng isang leon sa usa o pag-ikot ng earth sa paligid ng araw. Mas okay kung tayo na lang ung masasaktan. Eh sila? Isipin mo, nagkakaroon sila ng "dalaw" at nababaliw kada buwan, nabubuntis at nahihirapan ng 9 months, at pinaka matindi sa lahat, kailangan pa nilang panatilihing makinis at walang buhok ang kanilang mga kili-kili.

Ano ba namang pasayahin sila at gawing "scar-free" ang kanilang buhay pag-ibig. And if you are with a great girl, do everything to make her happy. Don't ever break her heart. Wag kang magpa-uto sa mga statistics, na nagsasabing, mas marami ang babae sa lalake, kaya okay lang mang-chiks. Ano pa bang gusto mo? Hindi pa ba sapat na minahal ka niya sa kabila ng iyong pagiging engot at kawalan ng Romantic DNA sa katawan? Malaki man ang papolasyon nila sa mundo, napaka-liit ng tsansang makakilala ka ulit ng katulad niya na magtya-tiyaga sayo. 

Tandaan, pansamantala ka mang maakit ng naglalakihang pulang high-heels o maaarteng makintab na sandals, mas masarap pa ring umuwi sa nag-iisang tsinelas ng buhay mo. ^_^

reposted from Kerygma Singles

blessings

In times like this (a difficult time, that is), I thank God for giving me a wonderful, good, caring, and supportive friend who is always there by my side. Right now, I am expecting nothing more. My dreams are not meant to come alive though, but just the fact that we are more than okay and I have someone to help me handle my emotions is a big pat on my back.

For the many good things he has done for me all throughout, I cannot help but feel indebted to him. I know he is not good in verbalizing his emotions, but somehow, the mere fact that he listens make me feel that I am special and important. That's enough for me. Someday, and that's soon, I'll find my one true love too. And I know when that day comes, my best friend will be there to cheer me up and rejoice with me.

God gives trials to those He think can manage them well. And maybe these trying moments are his way of telling me that He trusts me. So who am I to question his will, when He has been entrusting me with something big? The world is not full of bad things though, and the more I am experiencing adversities, the more I am able to celebrate and appreciate life's wonders. Now aren't those blessings enough.

I will carry on, as always. I have a good best friend, and a number of dependable friends, a good job, a promising career, a heart that cares, a passionate spirit. So what more can I ask for?

Lead me Lord. And thank you for sending me an angel. And more angels.

Thank you Alvin! You are the greatest friend one could ever have! :)

frustrations

It's September 8 tomorrow- a special day, that is. It's Mama Mary's birthday and most importantly, it's our first monthsary. Yes, it has been a month. But instead of being overly excited about it, I feel frustrated, honestly.

Apparently, my boyfriend has no plan. I don't even think he remembers. I don't really know if he's playing insensitive or he does not really know that tomorrow is our first monthsary. It's really annoying, vexing, irritating, disappointing and frustrating. How can he ever forget? Or better yet, maybe it's because this is something he never intends to treasure at all. Now, I felt like I jumped into a cliff and the person who prodded me to jump has no intention of catching me. Most of the time, I feel left out. He says he loves me but the sincerity of his words, that I have yet to see. Due to this, I am having doubts as to where this will all go. How can he act like that? Or maybe I am too paranoid.

Tomorrow I have to find out and see for myself whether this is just a play pretend or he does not have a tinge of care. He's old and he knows what's right or wrong, so I think there's no way I still have to make him realize his faults that he may eventually know what to do and improve on. As always, a relationship is like communication, which is two way. It is supposed to be give and take. I am trying my best to be as open as possible- telling him how I honestly feel, whether I am mad, satisfied, frustrated, doubtful, disappointed, or happy. But if after all this, it still won't work, then I have to accept that maybe, he's not meant for me. After all, we do not find love in just one shot. Maybe through Cris, I have to learn how to stumble and fall so that when I find the right man I will be more mature and better at handling my emotions.

So I would honestly say, I am not happy, nor am I satisfied. And to make the pain go away, I guess I have to divert my attention into things which are worthwhile. I have to pamper myself, go watch a movie, work out, bond with family and friends. If he does not intend to make me the center of my universe, then there's no way that he should be the end-all of my world. Again, my world won't stop just because he's not around. I love him and he means so much to me, but I have my limits too. I can just give so much, but no matter how much you love a person, there will always be a breaking point. And when I get too tired of all this, that's when I might break down, and cut if off.

I love you? Prove it.

So recently I broke up with my boyfriend. After a couple of days discussing our issues (read crying and arguing) he came round, we talked at length, hugged, kissed, made up, he held my face in his hands and told me he loved me and off we went to bed. The next day he sent me an email (yes, an email – not quite as bad as a post-it but still pretty low) saying that he ‘just couldn’t do it’. That was the day I realised that saying ‘I love you’ means nothing unless it’s backed up with actions. And not the hiring of white vans and taking back the telly sort of actions.

Are you in a relationship where you hear your partner say ‘I love you’ so much that it’s more habit than heartfelt? And do you feel loved in other ways? Not necessarily with grand gestures and extravagant gifts but with the small stuff. The buying of your favourite chocolate bar, the cup of tea when you wake up, the text asking if they can bring anything home for dinner. It’s these little acts of intimacy that make you feel secure within a relationship. And it works both ways of course.

Relationship coach, Jackie Walker says, “If your partner isn’t feeling loved in the way that they want to feel loved, no amount of ‘I love yous’ will get through to them. If you don’t know what they need from you to feel loved, your job is to ask them and deliver it.”

This relates back to a piece of advice we learned while creating the20 relationship rules to love by feature, and it’s that we all have a ‘love language’. This is how we best like to express our love and like it expressed back to us. For some, it’s touch. For others, words. Relationships survive when you work out each other’s language of choice. But just as never saying ‘I love you’ can undermine a relationship so can spouting it as an excuse for every mistake or misunderstanding you encounter together.

Sally Brampton, Psychologies writer, summed it up perfectly when she said, “Sometimes I think the phrase ‘I love you’ is no more than a get-out-of-jail-free card. In other words, I love you so just shut up about my obvious lack of commitment, my inability to anticipate your needs, my failure to give you my full attention. I’ve told you I love you so you can’t ask for anything more.”

Well, actually you can. As Jackie Walker says, “Love is a doing word not a passive one. Love doesn’t simply arrive and stay; it requires input, output and recharging. It needs an environment with respect, care and attention to thrive in.” If your partner behaves in a way that upsets you then you have a right to expect the person who says ‘I love you’, to put their money where their mouth is. Words are easy to mutter, but behaviour is harder to change. It’s this commitment to change however, that shows real love, intimacy and respect.  And as we all know, respect the foundation of all happy relationships.

a brave heart :)

Days fly so swiftly, passing like a thief in the night. It has been almost a month since I decided to take the fall and embrace the risk, and I would say, I do not regret doing it at all. I love him, and that's all that matters.

I entered in this relationship without no guarantee as to where it will lead me, but all I know is, my heart is full of hopes that this too shall soon work out. With prayers as my ultimate and everyday shield, I most certainly believe that we can make it through. It's all a matter of trust, understanding, and sometimes, compromise.

Even with the uncertainties and doubts hovering around, I am sure that I don't want to give up on him, on us. Sometimes though, the paranoia lingers and I cannot help but stop and be suspicious and worrisome. At the end of the day, I know my childish attitude starts to kick in and when I do not get what I want, I get overly impatient, to the point that I almost breakdown. Thankfully, everyday is a learning experience for me. Slowly and surely, I am learning to manage my emotions, though from time to time, I still feel frustrated because it is honestly, still not easy. But I face each day with a brave soul and an eager heart, and I know I will soon soar high with flying colors, I just have to learn the hard way.

Time can tell and soon I know we'll both find a way. Communication is the constant key to make this all work. I won't lose hope. It's too early to give up. Whatever happens, I'll just hold on but be open to all possibilities at the same time. As always, I'll do what's best and what's right. And since I already started to take that big risk, I will always make sure that I'll give it my best shot. Whatever happens, I do not want to live a life with regrets anymore. So I will try my very best to tell how much I love him, even if I know, I have this weakness at directly expressing things.

So even fear and paranoia finds their way sometimes, I won't let it devour me. I am the master of my emotions. I will be strong, resolute, and prudent. I know what I want and I won't hold back nor let go. I will fight for this no matter what. And time can tell, someday, if we are truly meant for each other. But as for now, I will seize each day, cherish each moment, and live each day as if it were my last. And I won't let each day pass without telling him, that he means the world to me. :)