talk to him and find out what he feels

DEAR CHICO, DELAMAR, AND GINO... My colleague, Lara and her best friend started going out after Lara professed her feelings for him. I actually prodded her to do so, since I think something’s going on between them. After the “confrontation,” Lara and I thought all is well as the guy said they will take it one step at a time. We were happy and contented about the results by then.
Just when I thought that everything was smooth sailing between them, Lara said she started to have doubts when the guy acts “sweet” when they are together, but different when their friends are around. To assess things, she had a moment of silence to just test if the guy will try to communicate and reach out. The guy didn’t. Nevertheless, she still communicates with him from time to time.
I know my friend is still holding on, and I told her that if a guy loves her, he will move mountains for her. But we can never tell if he’ll ever be ready for her. What should I say to my friend? Do you think she should confront him, given their “confusing” status? Or should she take his silence as a sign that he’s not just into her, and maybe move on? I know it’s difficult for her, the guy being her best buddy, but I don’t want her to further hurt herself either. - MAE


CHICO SAYS… Yes, I agree that a guy who likes a girl will move mountains, among other things, just to “own” a girl that he fancies to make sure he marks her as his and sends other suitors a warning to stay away. So when a guy is non-committal about where a girl stands in his life, it is rather odd. Sorry for the generalization, but it’s the girls who are usually more purposely vague about how they feel. Men like you or they don’t. That said, I’m not saying that he doesn’t like your friend. But one thing is clear, there is a reason why he’s acting this way. It could be that he’s not really into her, but it could be one of many reasons as well. I suggest your friend gets to the bottom of things. She needs to know why he wouldn’t be as demonstrative with her when his friends are around. Sometimes it’s just a matter of Pink’s song “Just Another Reason,” where to the guy everything’s fine, but to the girl, their relationship just disintegrated into irretrievable decay. They’re pretty new into the relationship, so it’s quite normal for there to be lapses in communication. They don’t speak the same language yet, so it’s very easy to misinterpret each other’s words and actions. It’s very crucial that they actually say the words, as opposed to merely reading each other. They need to talk. It is step one to finding out if they just need a little fixing, or if it’s finally kaput.

DELAMAR SAYS... It sounds like the guy is trying to be ‘polite.’ It’s as if he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings and so after she professed her feelings he just went with the flow and let things happen as she wanted it. In a relationship, though, you want to be wanted by the person you want. You don’t want someone who will only want you as long as you want him. You want someone you know is present at the other end of the relationship, loving you as much as you love him.

This test of silence she gave him leaves too many questions. Go direct and ask him if he wants to be in a relationship with her or did he feel forced into it? Tell her to ask him point blank. And should the answer be NO, be mature enough to accept it without retaliation. After all, we all have to go into a relationship willingly. Of course, it’ll hurt but at least she’ll find out if the guy is really hers or not. If he isn’t, have a good cry about it. Mope as long as she needs. And then? Well, move on, hopefully to someone who will want and love her as much as she wants and loves him.


GINO SAYS... As with any other relationship what I always suggest is communication. I think that no harm can come from talking to the other person about it. You can speculate about it all you want but whatever it may be, the only way to really find out is to talk about it.
Think about it this way, if you talk about it now your friend might still be able to fix it. If they don’t see eye to eye, then they can part ways earlier and avoid the situation getting deeper and more painful.

taking chances

Life is one big gamble that we humans play, for nothing is ever certain in this world (perhaps except change). Unfortunately though, happiness can never be found by playing it safe. Truth of the matter is, the most successful persons in the world all have something in common- they go out of their comfort zones, try the unexpected, and make risks.

                They say one would never know unless he tries. It may be doomed to fail - one may be bound to cry, to stumble, to fall on their knees, to bend and all. But what can be even worse than simply sitting down and never trying at all? Even if you played the game well and gave all the dice but still lost at the end, it is far better than waking up in the middle of the night because it bugged you that you never take the risk. Losing is always part of doing the unexpected, but when you know you did all that you can, it still gives that feeling of happiness that you gave your best , even if you did not get what you really wanted.

                Maybe it is human nature that we are afraid of failure. Who would want to get hurt anyway? Unless one is by nature born a suffering martyr, one would not succumb himself to sure death. But all those who willingly and daringly faced the unknown and uncertain and survived will most likely thrive in life. Why? They are more than ready to undergo painful sharpening and they are humble enough to learn the hard way. They are aware that experiences, no matter how throbbing and traumatic, will surely make a better person out of you. They want to try and to take risks, because they are eager to learn, no matter what it takes.

                And who says one is going to lose forever anyway? Perhaps after a hundredth attempt, one may bag the winning streak. And when the win is there for the grabs, it is such a victorious moment one will cherish for all eternity. It may be difficult during the first attempt, may be heart breaking on the succeeding ones, or soon a person may almost be pushed to give it up; but in trying in trying again and again, one will surely succeed, even if that success is far different from what is expected.

                One may give his best and may not be enough or been too much. There’s no use to blaming oneself either. If this may offer further consolation, the world is round. Who knows, tomorrow one’s luck will be different? We can never tell when the odds will be finally in one’s favor. But dreams do happen because we believe and we are certain that it will be a reality, and we do everything in our power to make them happen.

                At the end of the day, it’s not just solely in winning, but in doing one’s best and in doing everything with love, purpose, and passion. That way we live life with no regrets. We have no one to blame and we only have memories to look back to with fondness, as we go for what we wanted even if the world is against you. As we go through one failure to another, surely we have with us the greatest trophy life can ever give- our mistakes transformed as learning experiences. Rest assured that all those are never put to waste, as we learn to be the best because we once know how it is to lose.

               

               

               

 

dearest friend

I was browsing at the files on my computer when I found this one. I was surprised that I actually wrote such note. It has been a long time and I didn't even remember that I did write this letter. If truth be told, there are memories worth holding on to, if that will make us feel better, or maybe offer further consolation. For the time being; however, there are things worthy of setting aside. I can never bring back the time





8/3/2011

 

Dearest friend,

 

I’m on the midst of doing something important, but out of nowhere your face flashed onto my mind like lightning so I can’t help but blurt it all out through writing.



To cut the story short, I simply would like to ask you if you’re doing well. I haven’t talked to you for quite a time and though I haven’t  done so, I wish all are in good terms.

 

It’s been so long since we last talked about how our lives have been. I’ve been missing our blabbers and rants about how life is simply going on. Well, you may find this so emotional or so sentimental of me but maybe this is my way of showing affection for the people I care about. Having you around and knowing you’ll always give a comforting pat on my back makes things easier for me. But since our communication lines are hazy nowadays, sometimes I feel clouds hover above me. It’s true, you have been my source of refuge lately. Let’s say that it was quite a habit that I got used to, and I was caught off-guard and unprepared that I have to deal with some trivial matters (that I consider  bothersome) on my own.

 

Well, to make it more direct, Thank you. I want to thank you  because you always make me feel life is simply happy with having a friend around. Thank you because you always teach me how to look at life in a brighter perspective even if you have your own worries to ponder over. Through the years, when I was left alone (or I feel I was), you were always there to stand by me. You know very well from the start that I was a cry baby, but I always felt that you will not mock me for my weakness, because you were there to simply understand. Finding someone like you nowadays is not easy, as it will be  like looking for a hidden treasure, but even if my world is topsy-turvy, I guess I’m still lucky that God gave me a friend like you. Well, I hope you’ll never change and you’ll remain to be the person I know. Maybe you won’t,but instead you’ll change for the better since I’ve always known you to be true and sincere.

 

I’ve had a number of friends and for the time being, not all of them are lucky enough to withstand the test of time. And though we haven’t really talked much lately, I still fervently pray that you’ll be one of those few friends I can (keep) treasure forever. Time may be our opponent sometime because of our busy schedules, but as for me, no matter how pre-occupied I am, that will never mean that I love and care for you less. In fact, I’ll  remain to be that one friend you can count on, rain or shine,thick or thin, from beginning to end.

 

I’m sorry if this letter is making your eyes sore from reading much. I’d like to joke about it, maybe that’s the quirks of having a friend who’s crazy about writing. To end this novel-length letter, I hereby send you my wishes of good luck, goodwill, love, and blessings. I’ll continuously pray that all what you asked for be given, and if there are times that you can’t help but despair; you  know where to find me. Technology is always one gift that allows us to get closer (so let’s take advantage of it). I bid farewell for now, but I know (and I believe!) I’ll see you sooner (I hope!). Cheers and keep smiling, and of course,  congratulations, kudos, keep it up! I’m extremely jubilant for all your achievements lately!

 

Always, always, and forever and always

(exaggeration intended)

your naughty and overly persistent friend,

- Ellen Marie

 

PS:

Why am I writing this?

Just guess!

Hahaahahah! ^^,

Take care!

the big girl bids goodbye to fairy tales

The Big Girl Bids Goodbye to Fairy Tales

“When I was a little girl I used to read fairy tales. In fairy tales you meet Prince Charming and he's everything you ever wanted. In fairy tales the bad guy is very easy to spot. The bad guy is always wearing a black cape so you always know who he is. Then you grow up and you realize that Prince Charming is not as easy to find as you thought. You realize the bad guy is not wearing a black cape and he's not easy to spot; he's really funny, and he makes you laugh, and he has perfect hair.” – Taylor Swift

                Shakespeare once wrote that “The Course of True Love never did run smooth.” In the process of finding that love, we craft the grandest love story in our imagination only to be left bewildered by the harsh reality of love. It was, is, and will never be a piece of cake. At times, it can be a pain and the neck. Our dreams suddenly were shaken, vanished, and crushed into bits and pieces. It’s only then that we started to let go of the myths we hold on to for so long, and the little girl within us starts to die. As it is love is not always about finding the prince charming in times of distress. Or maybe there is really no fairy God mother who will help us find that one true love. When pain strikes our heart, loud and hard, reality knocks us off our feet and we begin to embrace the fact that love is not always, a fairy tale.

                More often than not this is a bitter pill to swallow. Who would’ve want a prince charming, one such being described in the fairy tales we grew up with? But as we struggle to find love, and eventually grow older and wiser, we start to look at everything in a different light. True love happens when it’s bound to happen, but it takes one brave action as well. It takes a woman of character and integrity to find the right man, and playing the “damsel in distress drama” might be useless. A woman who has the mature outlook and perspective in life knows what her dreams, purpose, and passion are and she is living it up day by day. It’s not always about waiting for the “knight in shining armor riding in a white horse” coming to save her and drive her to a castle far-away.

                But even if life turns sour and love seems so difficult to find, there is always a reason to hope for and hold on to. The little girl within us may die after the devastating outcomes brought about by harsh life, but the spirit will never expire. The tears shed are never useless as through pain we are sharpened and toughened, hopefully in a good way. Pain comes with a purpose, whatever that reason is, despite it being difficult to comprehend. It’s just that the little girl dreams and fantasizes, and the big girl hopes, prays, and makes it happen. She learns her lessons from her mistakes and slowly lets go of the ideal and cling on to what’s real and achievable. Still and all, whatever adversities she faced, this will never diminish her belief in herself as she already realized her worth. This means she is no longer the princess in waiting, but a well-grounded woman.

                Is it still worthy to look for a prince charming nowadays? Maybe yes, maybe no. But I guess Prince Charming is just an ideal instilled to us and an over attachment to it may lead to delusions and further hallucinations. Why look for the ideal prince charming when I can find a real man? No one is perfect. But sure there is the "right" one.

                I guess from time to time it’s still good to go back to the child in us and believe in fairy tales. But this is real life- we grow, we learn, we make mistakes, we mature. We realize that we need to distinguish the difference from fantasy and reality. And when the tough gets going and the going gets tough, we learn to both accept and let go. Accept that there are things which are never meant to happen and people in life we can never ever have. Till then we can confidently tell ourselves “I’ve grown up. I’m no longer a little girl. My experiences enabled me to learn and polished me to become better.”

dating a boy vs dating a man (copied)

When I was in my early twenties, if a guy acted aloof, called back only sometimes and showed minimal interest, I would get hooked. You could say I was addicted to the bad boy/ unavailable boy/ player. I was drawn to what psychotherapist, Ken Page terms as “attractions of deprivation” – when we are drawn to people who embody the worst emotional characteristics of our parents. Basically, the theory explains that we are attracted to people who can wound us the same way we were wounded in our childhood, as our psyche tries to recreate the past void and save us by changing its ending.
“The child in us believes that if the original perpetrators — or their current replacements — finally change their minds, apologize, or make up for that terrible rupture of trust, we can escape from our prison of unworthiness. Our conscious self is drawn to the positive qualities we yearn for, but our unconscious draws us to the qualities which hurt us the most as children.”  - Psychology Today
So games used to work on me because 1) I had unresolved daddy issues and 2) At the tender age of 20, I was trying to figure out who I was and to top it off, I was ridden with insecurity and a low sense of self-worth.

But somewhere in between the passing of a decade, something changed.
I learned to love myself.  I became independent, confident, and started to value my self-worth. I went through hardships and heartbreaks and picked myself back up which built my strength and courage. Instead of relying on beauty as my source of empowerment, I focused on basing my empowerment on my intelligence, successes, values, contributions to the world and how I helped others. In a sense, I finally grew up. I went from being a girl to becoming a woman. And as a woman, you are attracted to very different things than you are as a girl.

A girl is attracted to boys. A woman is attracted to men. Now, this has nothing to do with the actual age of a person. I’m referring to maturity, life vision and stage of life. In fact, some people regardless of their age, will never really grow up.

If you are a girl (lack independence, are ruled by insecurity, lack self-respect, throw tantrums, have princess syndrome, don’t have strong values or boundaries and can’t hold yourself on your own) then expect that you will attract only boys. However, if you are a woman (independent, ambitious, knows your worth and value, has a strong moral compass, is considerate and an able communicator and doesn’t let insecurity dominate your psyche), then you should be dating a man. And if you can’t spot the difference just yet, here are some pointers.

1. A man knows what he wants, and goes for it. A boy may have somewhat of an idea, but not really. He doesn’t think too much about it, and even if he does, doesn’t exert much effort to get it. A boy is passive, a man is assertive.
2. A man plans for his future and is working towards building a foundation and infrastructure in order to have a family (at some point in his life).  A boy lives only in the moment and his plans are mostly around which bar he’s going to hit up on the weekend.
3. A man looks for a woman with intelligence, who is supportive, grounded and encompasses a shared set of values when choosing a partner. A boy cares mostly only for girls who are hot, wild and exciting.
4. A man knows a good woman when he meets one and will take initiative to get to know her. A boy may make an attempt if you’re lucky, but gives up before ever really trying.
5. A man has the courage to have uncomfortable conversations. He is honest with his intentions and lets people know where they stand. A boy avoids. He ignores confrontation or any serious talks about feelings. Instead of dealing with a situation, he runs away from it or creates drama or excuses to mask the fact he’s not that into you or a relationship.
6. A man knows when to invest in a woman and jump in with two feet. A boy is always “testing” – he doesn’t fully commit because he never knows if he is quite ready. But the truth is, because he is a boy, regardless of who he meets, he will never be ready due to the stage of life he is in.
7. A man knows how to have a good time and be social, but is often busy making strides in his career and building his life. A boy is getting crunk with his buddies at the bar every weekend.
8. A man takes the time to reflect on the type of man he wants to be, the example he wants to leave and the vision for his life. He has put thought into his values. A boy has not established his moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent.
9. A man has integrity. He means what he says, and says what he means. He has follow through and actions his promises. And if he can’t he has the guts to tell you why. A boy makes promises but doesn’t follow through.
10. A man is afraid of rejection but will put himself out there anyway. A boy is afraid of rejection and acts passive so that his pride and ego won’t ever get too banged up.

Now, a lot of these differences require taking the time to know someone to figure out if the apple of your eye is indeed a man, or a mere boy. However, one of the quickest filters that you can notice from the beginning is this:

11. A boy plays games. A man doesn’t.

*To clarify, when I’m referring to “games” I mean mind games.

From: http://justmytype.ca/11-differences-between-dating-a-boy-vs-a-man/

crossroad

Ain’t a wise man, for foolish decisions have been made

To love, to let go, to wait, to stay, to linger

To hold on to for so long

Even with the uncertainties

And the odds of losing is even greater.

 

The game has been played.

And the risks became greater than the gains.

And the question that’s left

Should one give up

Or keep on chasing the unreachable?

 

The signs were nowhere

The silence becomes definite

Deafening one’s soul and core

Left alone.Wondering.Bewildered.

 

And when you’re in this crossroad

Comes the death of the inner soul.

stronger than yesterday

My heart is afraid. I’m overwhelmed by the fear. I know in my heart I’ve found my home in you. But Love, can never be forced. When our time never matches, and you seem so aloof and indifferent, where am I supposed to go? How do I let it all go when I know, I’ve hold onto you for quite long? Blame it all on me I guess, at the very onset, I know I should’ve forget the feeling.

                It’s sickening that my heart is uneasy but you seem not to even bother. Here I am, almost paralyzed with thoughts of you. Maybe I am trying to salvage everything by embracing good thoughts. I’m waiting for the signs, but the signs are not yet there for me to interpret. If the absence of a sign is likewise a sign, then I guess this is it.

                I have to face the pain and welcome the feeling of frustration and possibly devastation. But as they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I guess after this, I will be made whole and better, because I know I did my best and I will never ever have to depend on you for my completeness and happiness again. And maybe it is just not really meant to be. That after all what I’ve been through, it’s just a test of my character, to learn to let go of what I value the most, and by doing so, I can face the toughest of all odds.

                Rough winds may shake but never break me. Though, Yes I am afraid. Losing you, is like death in itself. It is too hypocrite of me not to admit that I am still groping and trying to find a way. But with your silence hovering, it leaves me hanging, wandering, and wondering. Did I ever matter to you? If I tried to let it all loose, will you let go of me, or will you fight for me too?

                The road to happiness seems too narrow for me. I am embracing the pain and taking it one step at a time. A love that’s meant for me will find its way, even if I avoid it. And though losing him means letting go of a good friend, I have to give it to myself too, I deserve to be happy, and with him leaving me like this, I don’t know if I still mean something to him.

                I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. But I can only do so much. And when you think you’ve done your best and it maybe not enough, or too much, the only thing left for you to do, is give up. Accepting that that person may never be meant for you is excruciating, but hanging on when it is a strike to the moon is even more unbearable. I just hope it is never too late for me.

                We all become fools out of love, in one way or another. But there’s just an end for everything, no matter how silent suffering a martyr that person is. And if he lets go of me, I would like to say and claim, it’s his lost, not mine.

 

friend of mine

I've known you for so long
You are a friend of mine
But is this all we'd ever be?
I've loved you ever since
You are a friend of mine
But babe, is this all we ever could be?

You tell me things I've never known
I've shown you love you've never shown
But then again, when you cry
I'm always at your side
You tell me 'bout the love you've had
I listen very eagerly
But deep inside you'll never see
This feeling of emptiness
It makes me feel sad
But then again I'm glad

I've known you all my life
You are a friend of mine
I know this is how it's gonna be
I've loved you then and I love you still
You're a friend of mine
Now, I know friends are all we ever could be

You tell me things I've never known
I've shown you love you've never shown
But then again, when you cry
I'm always at your side
You tell me 'bout the love you've had
And I listen very eagerly
But deep inside you'll never see
This feeling of emptiness
It makes me feel sad

But then again
Then again
Then again I'm glad

No one says I'll love you when I'm ready (repost from Kat M)

* I happened to find this blog from my close friend's site. And yes, I can very very much relate with it. I am still even thinking if the girl is me. Hohohoh



This is from He Says, She Says, He Say, a column in Manila Bulletin written by Chico, Delamar, and Gino.


‘No one says I’ll love you when I’m ready’
15 May 2013

DEAR CHICO, DELAMAR, AND GINO… My friend Lena has been in love with her high school friend for over three years now. I can say that they are close, they watch movies together, eat out, and go on trips with the entire group. I have been urging her to confess her secret love to him because I think there is something between them. Also, I know that he is the reason why she cannot like somebody else even if she has other suitors.

When Lena finally got the courage to tell him she likes him, he replied with “You are my ideal wife, but now, I still think like a teenager, I am not ready to be with you.“ What do you think this means? She always comes to me for advice, but I only have one thing to say: If a guy really likes you, he will move mountains just to be with you. If he doesn’t, then his reasons are like the stars, countless. What should I tell her? She has been waiting for him so long and I don’t want her to hurt anymore.

CHICO SAYS… I would tend to agree with your line of thinking. With the exception of a very, and I stress on the word VERY few men, most men would go for the girl they want, no ifs or buts about it, and just go for the prize. Men are not exactly known for their EQ, opting to gobble when they have the option to nibble instead. The whole “I’m not ready” bit is largely reserved for the women, who probably love the guy to bits already, but would act coy for the sake of their feminine wiles. Men don’t have the same penchant for hemming and hawing. I’d even daresay that if he really liked her, he wouldn’t even have waited for her to profess her love first. And even the most torpe of guys, once the girl does the job of taking out the guesswork, would gladly pick up the spoils. But you know what, she’d still probably stick around until he comes around. So you can give your honest two bits on the matter, because I doubt if it’ll make a dent in her resolve. I think only he can really put an end to this once he finds the courage to say how he really feels about her. But who knows, he might actually be one of those few men who are honest about their feelings?

DELAMAR SAYS… Tracy Chapman once sang, “A love prepared for days to come is as good as none.“ Nobody promises “I’ll love you when I’m ready“ or “I’ll love you in two, three, or four years.“ Either you love somebody or you don’t. And guys are the type who will go for what they want. If they want you, they’ll go after you. Besides, your friend is not asking this guy to marry her. It’s just at the boyfriend/girlfriend stage!  To me, he’s just coming up with smooth excuses not to be in a relationship. It sounds like he’s complimenting her by calling her ‘ideal wife’ material. But really what he’s saying is that he does not want to be in a relationship with her. Whatever the reasons are behind those words, it’s the same result -he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with your friend.

I think you gave your friend the appropriate advice. She probably won’t take your advice because she’s in love with him. Just keep telling her what you’ve been telling her. She’ll let go when she’s good and ready. For now though, just stand by her even as she chooses to make a fool of herself because of “love.“ We’re all bound to do that at least once in our lifetime. We are all fools for love one time or another. But lessons will be learned sooner or later. Hopefully, it will be sooner rather than later for your friend.

GINO SAYS… What can I say, love is always complicated. I think that in this case though, either he just wants to keep her around as a back-up plan (as harsh as that might sound) or he still wants to play around. One of the reasons your friend is probably being neglected by this guy is because she’s just too readily available. Trust me when I say that whether you’re a guy or a girl, being too available is just not something that’s appealing to the opposite sex.

It’s difficult to pull away from a person when you like them, but at this point, if your friend wants the attention of the guy, I honestly think she should make herself unavailable. Yes, it’s a gamble because he might just completely forget about her, but at least it’ll help her move on either way. I mean come on, if you met the person that you really wanted to end up with, would you really let her go, with the risk that some other person will pounce on her or take her away?

My friends always tell me “mag pa miss ka naman.” In this case, I think that’s exactly what she should do.

keeping the passion alive

I was struck when a friend told me "keep the passion alive."

As a teacher, those are big words and easier said than done. With the pains of preparing daily lesson plans and materials, the challenge of molding each students into persons of character, and the responsibility of making sure that the students' problems concerns are addressed- all those are enough reasons for a teacher to be on the verge of giving up. Teaching is taxing and not that financially rewarding, and with all those, many tried, but few stayed- some are still struggling and contemplating whether they should leave or learn to love what they do. Sometimes, more than the work and the students themselves, there are also other concerns- administrators, school system, colleagues, and parents. For someone who is trying to strike a balance in their work, school, family, and social life, maintaining that passion is indeed a Herculean task. When the work drains the best out of you, then it's when the questions and frustrations kick in.

But is teaching never fulfilling or rewarding? Does the reason to leave outweigh the reason to stay? I would like to strongly believe, that despite all the challenges, there are still enumerable reasons to love teaching.

How can one not learn to love teaching, when in the most random moment, a student will hand a note saying "I love you," "Thank you," "I'm sorry," or "You're the best teacher"? Is it not fulfilling enough, when in the most random moment, a student will give an artwork painstakingly done, just to show you are appreciated and loved. Will it not warm a teacher's heart, when a student runs after to greet and give a big hug? Or how difficult it is to feel fulfilled, when after years or months, students still acknowledge and visit you, just to give an update on their lives? All the more it becomes momentous when after a tiring discussion, a student will tell a teacher that he/she enjoyed the lesson and learned so much from that day. Are those not enough reasons to stay?

The joy in teaching is usually not found on the perks of the job, in the salary raise, the promotion, in the improvement of the school system, but on the random and simple moments with students. True, students are hard to deal with nowadays, they can be stubborn, mischievous, and rowdy, but at the end of the day, they are still the very reasons for a teacher's existence and to be motivated enough to stay in the profession. Their random and simplest of all acts are the very reasons which give a teacher countless joy. And all those are even more rewarding than any material possession. 

Therefore, the secret to keeping the passion alive in teaching is finding joy and happiness in everything a teacher does. There might be thousands of reasons to rant about, but when a teacher starts to learn to love and appreciate all the simple things in her life and with her students- the passion is not just there to remain, but there to ignite even more. It is truly challenging not to complain, it is a normal occurrence in every field, but a change in mindset will always help. If a teacher constantly does her best to be exemplary in her craft, and does everything with zest, purpose, and happiness, then one can counter the feeling of work drain. Or when one feels she's on the edge of the cliff and about to jump off, pause for a while, take a look at your students, have that moment of introspection. And when you realize that you still have a purpose and role to fulfill, that your students still matter to you, that you still want to effect change and mold lives in the process, then maybe it is enough reason to teach.

The challenges will pile up as days go by. The problems in the schools and in the systems are there to stay. Teaching may never be economically rewarding at all. But a teacher chooses to stay not because of that, she simply believes that she should never give up, as she realizes her importance in the lives of her students. When a teacher learns to love and accept her students for who they are and for who they are not, then life becomes more purposeful and meaningful and the passion will be kept aflame, regardless of the many impediments that will come her way.

It may sound melodramatic, but it is never too late to keep the passion alive. And for those who can, teach. We may not realize the impact of making a decision to stay and remain true to our call to be a noble teacher, but one day, it all will make sense. Teachers are no nonsense human beings, as they will forever play a crucial role in the lives of students. As Henry Adams put it "A teacher affects eternity, he can never tell where his influence stops." Take the challenge. Teaching is always, worth the try. :)