#bad hair day

I get so tired of people suddenly throwing their bouts of irritation and losing their temper on me, for reasons unknown. I know I may have faults, I can be naughty at times, but that does not give them the liberty to be grouchy on me.

They say that you can't be nice or people will use and abuse you, I guess that's true. The moment I become the goody-goody too shoes and nice girl next door, apparently, it does not go to my advantage. In fact, I can even be lambasted because of it. Sometimes, being a mean girl also pays off. It allows people to keep some sort of a distance because you know how to fight for yourself.

When you're nice, warm, kind-hearted, and accommodating, people feel as if you would always "understand." Mabait naman yan eh, okay lang yan. They wouldn't even bother thinking if you get annoyed, hurt, or offended, in any way. They feel that your patience is exuding and overflowing, when in fact you are not a saint, and you have your limits too.

I'm tired of the shitty treatment of the people around me. Apparently, even if you treat them with kindness, they can still afford to distance themselves from you. I didn't do anything wrong, so why should I be the one to ask myself, "what have I done?"  I guess this is a challenge for me to be more assertive and to learn to fight back. It all takes courage, but that's way too hard. But if I want to stop this seemingly unfair treatment towards me, I should not always stoop low and say "it's okay" when the hell it is not. I should tell the person straight to his/her face that "I didn't like what you do," or "your immaturity is not my responsibility," much more "I don't deserve to be treated that way."

Even heroes have the right to bleed. And I am not a deity or a superhero. It all gets tiring too, at the end of the day. I hate to displease and hurt others. But how come I feel all these?

The world can sometimes be unfair. But all I know is, you teach people how to treat you. The moment I learn to stand for myself, I guess all these will be put to a halt.