How I found my one true love

There is no magic or secret formula to finding one's true love. It is a puzzle piece that remains a mystery, thus baffling many. But despite this, one thing remains true, love comes when you least expect it, and praying for it truly works wonders. With that, allow me to share our love story.

Sam and I had been colleagues when I worked at a publishing company last 2014-2017. I remember meeting Sam for the first time at the swimming pool when my officemates and I went for a dip in the pool during our company team building. He was very quiet and I knew back then that he was the shy type. He seemed to be quite loved by everyone, and I remember rushing to him out concern for he had a little "accident" during one of the games. We would have little encounters at the office after that, him being part of the IT team. From time to time, I would ask his help on technical matters, bump into him and have small talks over lunch (sometimes even giving him my rice 😂). We never really got a chance to be very close for quite a long time because I work on-field most of the time, but I remember being one of those who will pair him off with someone from another department. Sometimes we will jokingly tease him by telling him we will use his computer to send an email to the girl we are teasing him with, and all these Sam will just reply with a shy smile. With his kind nature, he never really showed remonstrations nor fought back. But all those time, I have established that he is really the good boy next door type and is hardworking and dedicated to work.

We started to get a little closer after our team building in 2016. Our theme was "Hunger Games," and each team has to send two representatives to be the muse and the escort. I, being the young one in the team, had really no choice but to be the muse. I knew Sam was one of my teammates, so I begged him to be my partner, so I will not end up being paired with a stranger (or someone from a different area). Being the shy type that he was, I remember it was not easy to convince him, but eventually he gave in. We had an interpretative dance to the song of "Chandelier" and to our delight, our team won.

After that, I noticed some of our officemates had been teasing us. I thought then that it was because of the team building, and knowing how quiet and shy type Sam is, I just shrugged the idea off. I mean, yes he is likeable, but how will he even like me? For me, he is "torpe" and geek. He barely even speaks to me, so him pursuing me is something that never crossed my mind.

Things started to change a little bit though little by little. There were already little instances when we would exchange random messages over text message and I can clearly remember him teasing me and I ended up smiling while queing at the uv express terminal as I exchange messages with him. That perhaps is the beginning of something, as I was quite happy that he started to warm up towards me. After that, I remember telling an officemate, that Sam's girlfriend in the future will be very lucky, for I can clearly see then that he is a good man.

Fast forward to 2017, I decided that it was time to leave that company for I accepted a job offer abroad. That was the year when I decided to leave everything to God- my career, my lovelife, my future. Never did I thought that I was in for a big surprise that year. With the support of our officemates, Sam finally gathered the courage to accompany me home, which I initially thought was just an act of kindness when he heard about a certain incident on my way home. I introduced him to my mom as a concerned officemate, but after that night, when I thanked him for the company, he said, "next time again, if there is still a chance." I felt then that maybe, there is something different so I said yes.

The rest as they say, is history. That was the start of our usual exchange of messages, till we had our first date on valentines Day 2017. The biggest revelation he had during our courtship days was  when he told me he had been praying and gathering his courage to finally pursue me for all those years. He finally confessed that he likes me since 2014.

Our love story is three years in the making, but I would say that the three years of waiting is a beautiful journey of self-discovery for me. During those times, I had been hurt countless times, up to the point that I almost gave up on my chances in love. But I persevered, I prayed, I trusted and surrendered my life's plans to the Lord. And when my heart is finally at peace knowing that God knows what is best for me, that is when He reveals who my one true love is.

I have never been any happier and content since then, knowing that Sam is my answered prayer. Our love story may not be perfect nor easy, especially we had been in a long distance relationship for two years now, but a love story that is orchestrated by God will truly stand all adversities. So if by any chance you have doubts and questions as to who is meant for you, just pray unceasingly and keep trusting God's divine plan, for His plans are always better than you can ever imagine.

Whenever I see Sam, I am reminded how the Lord has been good to me, for after a long wait, He has finally blessed me with the love I deserve. It is a love so true and beautiful which happened when the Lord most willed it, in His perfect time. Every day, I thank the Lord for this wondrous blessing, a good and kindhearted man, whose love for me is genuine that I could not ask for more. Sam is truly worth the wait and my heart is overjoyed.

The Journey to Love

A classic saying goes that "the course of true love never did run smooth," and finding the right one for you, so to speak. They say, it's akin to finding a needle in the haystack. It's a journey to the unknown, often times leaving you perplexed, wondering, bewildered.

Finding the right one may entail several trial and errors. If you are lucky enough, he may be your first and last. But what are the odds that you will be the lucky one? In a world where "no label relationships" and "not into serious relationships" abound, what are the chances that you will find true love in an instant? It is never an ABC, and sometimes, you might end up telling yourself, "I think I have more chances in winning the lottery!"

We may feel despair, loneliness, isolation, betrayal. There are many emotions that will lurk and cripple your very core. Doubting yourself during these trying times is not far from happening. After trying to go through several dates and countless rejections, it is surely not easy to get back on your feet. When the heart is crushed, our mind and body somehow undergo this state of "paralysis." At this point, it may be harder to see the colours in our life.

But, this may just be a phase. As cliche as it may sound, time will heal the wounds. After going through several heartbreaks, one may give up, may park the quest for love in the meantime, or let the heart rest until it is ready. Whatever the choice is, what matters is, to give the heart ample time to heal and recover from pain, until it can finally wholly welcome love again.

We cannot really tell how many heartaches you will have to go through before true love will find its way. One cannot really fathom the mystery of love, and how it will be lead to you. But despite the pain of rejections and the fear of the unknown, there is one thing that we hope for. If you have been through painful heartbreaks, I hope you will let your heart heal and still believe in the beauty and power of love. It is a rocky road and path, one that is venturing to the wild. It may take some time  and maybe you will grow tired that you are no longer waiting, but at least, give it a chance and believe that it will come. No matter how dreary and weary, just trust in the process that it will happen. Allow life to surprise you and maybe one day, when you are no longer waiting or hurting, it may pass by you. And it may never leave you again.

But all this will happen, if you still believe and if you open your heart to the beautiful possibilities of still finding love, no matter how difficult it may seem.

waiting for the best version of a dream

What sign are you actually looking for?

Last night, I attended a worship service at a Catholic Community that I'm part of. At the end of the talk, I felt like cold water was poured to my whole body, as a resounding "what sign are you still looking for?" was mentioned by the speaker. I can only mutter to myself "Open my eyes, so that I can see." And indeed, maybe, truly, sadly, I am blinded all along.

It is very heartbreaking if we are stuck on the same chapter of our life. Even if they say the only way to move on is to let go, it is still difficult and sometimes, you still wallow in the pain or the trauma of it all. Yes, we want to move forward, but the fear is there. It is akin to a movie being played inside ones head. As the speaker said "if you are going through something, just pass through it, don't linger there for so long." 

And then I felt I was slapped. Real hard. Maybe my head was even hammered.

Am I lingering for so long, that I have been badly damaged and crippled by this prolonged stay?

Is it keeping me from seeing the beauty and promises of life?

Is that NO still painful for me? Did I really learn to move on or let go?

I have to be honest. Maybe, after all, I am savoring the pain. I felt and looked like I was a big pathetic fool.

Yes. We make mistakes. And forgiving oneself is just so hard.

But I realize, I want to live a happy life.

I want to have a better and brighter future.

I know I have been praying for someone, for so long. I may not exactly get what I wanted.

But I want to prepare myself for God's best version of my dream.

Maybe the first thing to do is to be brutal to myself. There are some things, some person that you cannot have. 

The second thing is to wait. Patiently wait. And believe that a brighter future is in store. 

Yes, it's painful. The many big "NOs" are extremely wounding my heart. Up to the point that it made me doubt myself, my worth, my value as a person.

Still, I have to believe. And I have to act with bold faith. "Faith without works, is dead."

Perhaps, all those rejection will lead to a better place and bring the best person out of me. Maybe someday, in the right time, I will be surprised and be lead to that someone I have been waiting and praying for so long.

I know I have been praying and working hard.

Sometimes, most of the time, I feel like giving up already.

Sometimes, I feel so ugly and even envy the people around me.

In the most random of times, I will see myself crying out of self- pity, and would fail to pray because it just hurts so much.

Dear God, You know my prayers. I open myself to the best version of my dream that You are preparing for me. I still await for the YES that you promise to give in the near future. Please increase my patience. Please help me to be more faithful. I don't want to give up. Not on You, not on my dreams. :)

puso, ano ang kwento mo?

Gaano ba kasakit ang di mahalin ng taong mahal mo?

Masakit. Sobrang sakit. Parang biniyak ang puso at kaluluwa mo. O maaring higit pa.

Lahat naman kasi ng tao, umaasa at nananalig sa isang “happy ending.” Na baling araw ma-meet natin si ”the one.”

Sabi nga din nila, kung gaano kasarap o kasaya umibig, ganoon din naman ang sakit na dulot nito.

Minsan sa sobrang sakit, tinatanong mo na kung “Bakit ganito? Bakit kailangan ako masaktan? Bakit di niya ako mahal? Ano ang mali? Bakit di niya ko kayang mahalin?”

Siguro naman, sa isang banda sa ating buhay, naramdaman na natin ang tinatawag na unrequited love.

Sa mga way over na sa stage na ito, congratulations. Wow! Isa kayong patunay na “the right one will come along if we wait, believe, and pray for it.”

Sa mga on the way pa lang, there is more to come. (Ito ay isang warning o pwede ding reminder, bahala na kayo maginterpret J )

Sa mga nagmomove-forward: push niyo lang yan. Go. Kaya pa natin to. Sabi nga ni RB, if you can’t move on, move on some more! As in more!

Dahil naniniwala naman siguro tayong lahat, na hindi un-fair ang buhay, di ba? Kaya nga bilog ang mundo, paikot-ikot. Kahit pa feeling mo nakikita mo sila lahat, in a relationship na. At tayo, hindi pa. Madami dami na din ang kinakasal na, pero may mga waiting pa din kung dadating pa ba siya- si future groom or bride. Sa kaibuturan ng ating puso nandoon ang paniniwala, na darating siya, at hindi ba yun ang pinakamahalaga? Dahil sa huli, ang pag-ibig ay darating sa kung sino man ang naniniwala dito.  At kahit gaano kahirap mag-intay, kahit minsan sawa ka na sa kakadasal dahil pakiramdam mo di ka pinakikinggan, pero mahigpit ang kapit natin. At ito ay tinatawag nating faith o pananampalataya, at ito ang nagpapatibay sa atin- nagbibigay lakas na maniwala tayo, kahit pakiramdam natin, wala ng bukas, wala ng pag-asa.

Maaring nakalugmok ka ngayon after mo mabasted, friend-zoned, seen-zoned o kung ano pa mang ang katumbas ay unrequited love. Or maaring nagheheal pa ang iyong broken heart pakatapos ng isang pag-ibig na hindi rin pala kayo sa huli. Pero kahit gaano man kasakit, alam natin, ano mang hakbang ang gawin natin ang siyang magdidikta ng kapalaran sa hinaharap, kaya kailangan magdesisyon tayo ng wasto at nararapat, dahil kung mag-self destruct tayo sa kasalukuyan, ang future din natin ang magiging kaawa-awa. At hindi naman siguro tayo papayag dun di ba? Gusto pa din natin ng happy ending. At dahil tayo ay optimists, pipiliin natin ang tamang daan, ika nga. Kahit matagal, kahit mahirap, at madaming pasikot-sikot. Kasi may tiwala tayo e, na karapat-dapat tayong mahalin, na may nakikinig sa prayers natin, na ang halaga natin ay hindi naididikta ng kung gaano tayo sinaktan, pinabayaan, binalewala ng taong minsang pinag-ikutan ng mundo natin. Ang halaga natin ay higit pa sa mga kamalian o kakulangan, dahil lahat naman ito matatama at mapupunan, basta bukal sa loob natin na magbago or punan ang mga pagkukulang.

At kahit gaano man kahirap mag-intay na dumating ang tamang tao sa buhay natin, alam ko, hindi ako nagiisa sa mga nananalig at naniniwala, darating siya. Na hindi natin sisirain ang buhay natin para lang sa isang taong di tayo kayang mahalin, bigyan ng halaga, o nang-iwan at nanakit, dahil gusto natin na maibigay natin ng buong- buo ang ating sarili sa taong nararapat sa atin, balang-araw. At ang lahat ng sakit na to, ng hirap, ng mga matang namumugto sa kakaiyak, ng pusong tinagpi-tagpi muna habang naghihilom pa- lahat ng ayan ay mawawala, hindi man ganon kadali, kahit paunti-unti, pag dumating ang tamang tao, sa tamang oras, tamang panahon, at tamang pagkakataon.

At dahil gusto natin na magmahal ng buong-buo muli sa pagdating ni “the one,” babangon tayo, magpapakabuti sa kung ano man ang pinagkakaabalahan natin, at sisikapin natin maging nararapat sa kung sino man ang nakalaan sa  atin. Ang tunay na pagibig ay handang mag-intay- kahit madaming balakid, hindi ito papadaig sa mga hamon. Dahil sa lahat, ang tunay na pag-ibig ay nakahihigit.

Kaya kahit ano man ang kwento ng puso mo, di ka nag-iisa. Kapit lang, my friend. Iiyak mo na yan, mauubos din ang luha. Magtanong ka lang, kung bakit. Balang araw malalaman mo din kung bakit hindi. I-let go mo lang kahit mahirap. Balang araw, oo balang araw, may tamang tao para sa iyo. Kung ano mang hirap at sakit ang pinagdaanan natin, maaring ipagpasalamat natin iyon. Dahil ang lahat ng hirap, sakit, pagod, luha na dinanas natin, ay siyang daan para makilala natin ang “the one.” Kapag nandiyan na siya, masasabi natin na sulit ang pag-iintay. Kaya sa ngayon, kahit ang status ay single and available, wait ka lang. Mapupush din ang kwento ng puso mo. In time. J

• Para sa lahat ng naniniwala na darating ang one true love, ang tamang tao para sa tin, cheers! The waiting will be worth it. Let’s believe and have faith. J

I am Titanium :)

The expectations that society give can really be overwhelming, drowning, and excruciating. At the age of 20-21, they expect you to graduate, which is pretty normal, and should really be the case. After you land a good job, save for yourself, help your parents in the process, people will start bugging you the perennial question of whether you are in a relationship or not. If you are, congratulations, people are happy for you, but wait, there's more, they will ask you "so when are you going to get married?" And if not, then brace yourself, you'll be bombarded with "Why not?" Let me rephrase it "Oh What's wrong with you, yadda yadda yadda." Sometimes people will even have the temerity to say "So don't you feel lonely that you are single." And here comes the "life threatening" statement, "It's hard to grow old. You are not getting any younger. The clock ticks, fast!" As if getting into a serious relationship is as easy as ABC or 123.

Seriously speaking, those expectations can be frustrating and nerve racking. I mean, what the hell is wrong with being single? Even Ramon Bautista would say, "there's nothing wrong with being single. There's no problem, really. You just allow the comments of the people around you to get into your head, and that creates a problem." I am not saying that being in a relationship is problematic, either. Come on, don't you feel happy when you see people in love. But if you want to be in a relationship like that, what's the need to rush?

For 3 years this has been an experience I am battling with. And honestly, it was nightmarish. I feel frustrated because I see couples around me who are very much in love. Some of my friends are getting married and having kids (they married early though). There are times when I will cry out of frustration and even question myself if something's wrong and I would feel the hole, the gap, the space, the missing link. I felt I was incomplete. I would date and meet guys, expect that the person I have been long waiting for will love me, chase him in the process. But then life can really be hard on you, because if it won't, you will never learn. As time goes by though, I had a change of heart and perspective.

I know I still need to be in love. But now, even if people would bug me, I would just shrug off my shoulders and smile. I'm still young, beautiful, smart, what the hell is wrong with me? Nothing. I am not incomplete. I am living my life according to how I want it. I have good friends, a stable job, a family who supports me, a God who never leaves me, a promising life is ahead of me. What else can I ask for? Yes, my life is not perfect. But I will not allow my being single to make me feel less of a woman. I am who I am. This time, nothing and no one can ever shake me. "I'm bullet oroof, nothing to lose. Fire away.. fire away."

A serious relationship is not meant to be rushed. So I meet guys along the way, and just be happy I met them. This time, no pressure. No expectations, at all. Better? Yes, it is. You don't get hurt even if you met a lot along the way and still there's no prospect. A good friend of mine once told me, just go and continue what you are doing right now. Go out, enjoy, sail, meet more people, girls and boys alike. Out of the many encounters you have, who knows, you'll meet that "one."

So I've dated and tried, and didn't work out. Try again. Never stop believing. Life is a work in progress. You fail, you commit mistakes. You learn. You're better. People will judge you and mock you for they feel the delay of your love story. At times I would even be lambasted by saying, you are already too open and friendly, and still no one falls for you (with a cruel laugh). Painful? Yes it is, most certainly. But crestfallen? No. I've guarded myself. I just take good note of the harsh things they said. After all, even with all the good that you do, people will still have something negative to say about you.

And a relationship for me, is something serious. I don't play games. I want to get married, to the right person. To someone who loves me and is more than ready. To someone who will fight for me and will stand by me. I want to marry a man who stands firm in his belief and in his principles. And whilst on my journey to finding that love, I am making myself the "right woman" for the right man. Marriage is a commitment as well. You need a stable job to feed the baby and raise a family. Sometimes, it's just not about love. It's also about commitment, maturity, and responsibility.

Time can tell when I'll find that love. After all what happened in my life, I learned to toughen and make myself numb to what people say about me. I realized I don't always have to listen to them. It's a cruel test. You make yourself deaf because you don't want them to get the hell out of you. But when you are able to do so, you can hold your head up high and say:

You shout it loud, but I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud, not saying much
I'm criticized, but all your bullets ricochet
you shoot me down, but I get up.

So shoot me down, I won't fall
cause I am Titanium! :)

a teacher's life :D

"I'm starting the School Year 2013-2014 right!"

That has been my "mantra" ever since we get back to work last May. Sure there has been a lot of changes at work- new level, more requirements, more tasks, more demands and expectations. But all it takes is a positive attitude and a happy heart to accomplish all those. I'm pretty happy that most of my friends belong to the same Grade Level where I am currently assigned, so that means there will be less stress ( though it won't necessarily mean work is easier). I'd like to count that as a blessing and though things seem to be tough during the batch turn-over (when the former grade level teachers shared the batch profile), I would just consider all these a challenge which I will willingly and courageously surpass.

May and June is all about preparations for the upcoming new school year. There are a lot of renovations and changes going on due to the K+ 12, but I'm confident we can cope with it soon.  Thankfully, I just finished my learning plan for the entire 1st term (congratulations to me!), so I am excited to work on our classroom decorations and bulletin board. Since I am a cat lover and I am assigned as the class adviser of Grade 5C, we decided that our theme for this SY will be cats (meowwww!). Sure it will be a cute thing to see and behold, and I am just eager to see how it will look like once we are able to put them together in the classroom.

Funny thing though, but I am highly anticipating the first day of class and meeting with the students. The first day is always crucial because that means establishing all the rules and regulations, plus you have to make students feel at home and comfortable in school, but I know we can always find a way on how to make things work for both of us - teachers and students alike. After 3 years of teaching, maybe I can now confidently say I am getting the hang of it, and now is the time to step up a little further and be more aggressive at work (in a good way). I am fervently praying though that things will turn out well- with less problems with students and complaints from parents. I really have to pray hard.

I have to keep this energy up to the end of the school year. I know it's difficult to sustain the zest, but I believe no matter how tired and exhausted I become at the end of the day, teaching will always be my first love. I would not last for three years in this profession if my heart is not into it. Surely there will be obstacles along the way, but with faith and constant praying, in my heart, I strongly believe, all is well! :D

I'd like to claim that this SY 2013-2014, I will be a champion in all aspects. The odds will be in my favor. It is and it will be. I can create wonders and miracles, because I believe! :P

Cheers to the start of SY 2013-2014!

Happy teaching and enjoy learning kids!

-with love,

Ms. Llabore

dedication

He may not know what I have found

But with the look in his eyes, he completes me

And looking from afar gives the same shivers

As I know it’s him that really matters.

I may not be made whole without him

He has been my heart’s missing link

But I have been groping in the dark so long

And my love is still hanging on a cliff.

My heart longs to seek for answers

As a body which thirst for water, and I hunger.

I seek and long to hear him say

That our hearts are united and with the same rhythm.

Holding on still, on this branch, that I’m almost willing

To let go and die from this everyday hoping

Maybe of nothing, till I drown in oblivion

Loving as an unknown- is ecstatic but full of sorrow.

Still my heart, my world and my universe is his

And should he decide to take a leap

I know I would never let it go

For it’s with him that I found home- where I truly belong.

have a lift of faith

Was there ever a time in your life when you felt impatient because things are not happening the way you want them to? Do you feel frustrated because your prayers seem unheard and your dreams are not coming true? When doubt seems to kick on, it is always good to know that there is one thing that can fuel the heart, mind, body and soul - faith.

Hebrews 1: 11 tells us that "faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see". Faith enables us to dance today and response to the kindness we received. And while faith gives us the strength to endure life's pain, hope provides the ability to hear the music of the future. As Emmanuel Teney puts it "As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your delight and benefit. Hence, let us keep the faith today, and remain hopeful for our future. 

Whenever we feel like losing battles, we can always remind ourselves of how Jesus can create miracles, even in the bleakest of all situations. The only weapon that we need is faith, like that of the woman who touched Jesus and believed she will be healed. In the same manner, Jesus raised a dead girl, brought her to life, and said that she is "not dead but asleep." These stories reveal that 1) it is not enough to touch Jesus, you have to touch Jesus with faith and 2) sometimes what we call dead is just dormant to God. It all takes the courage to take a risk of faith, and God will surprise us beyond wonders.

Indeed, God will not give anything that you can't handle. Likewise, it is best to maintain a positive mindset because faith can do three things. First, Faith will make you talk to yourself. It allows us to declare things and utter positive words, whatever is in the heart. Second, Faith always points to Jesus, the author and finisher of all. Jesus is the focal point of Faith. Likewise, Faith is not Faith until it's all you are holding to. Third, Faith will always cause you to make some room.  If our dreams are not yet coming true, it does not mean we have to stop dreaming. As the story of the dead girl shows, what may be "dead" to us is just "dormant" to God. Therefore, we should give it some room to understand, to hope, and just respond by faith. Before giving it an expiration date, give it a chance. Take a risk and soon, God will grant your deepest desires.

Do you want to create miracles out of your life and receive surprises that will sweep off your feet? Have a lift of faith that your order in this restaurant called "life" will come soon, because we have the best chef and creator of all things- God. :)

introspections

And some people will come and go into your life, and sometimes when you least expect it, they will.

It's a sad fact of life that not everyone who comes will stay forever. Life, as always, is full off changes, very transitory, ephemeral, and fleeting. Sometimes, we will be left aghast as to how we will get along with others well, be acquaintances, buddies, friends (and even more). Yet, the next thing we know is they started to disappear, pooof vanish out of our lives, forever. Countless people touched our lives, in one way or another, but a number of them will just pass by, like the air that gently touches one's cheeks, for a minute or a swift second. 

 At times it will also be useless to look for things that you want to last. Like friendships, relationships, and love. If it will come when you least expect it, do you still have to go the distance to search in vain, at the end of the day. After trying to play all your cards, and eventually lose at the end, is it still worth it? It pains to lose, but maybe, it is still worth it, maybe if we look at our failures as a learning experience.

Bucket of tears will be shed. But we can't help but love and depend on others too, most of the time. Though they say it is better not to attach oneself to anybody, it may sound too pessimistic a view, as no man is an island. We are by nature a gregarious and social being- born to mingle, interact, and communicate. We have a heart made to feel, care, and love. And even if that love may be a friendly, brotherly, or romantic one, we still feel it and give it wholeheartedly, despite the fact that sometimes, it's unrequited, or the person to whom you give it to is not even worth it.

Still despite all the pains it may still be worth the wait. Maybe it will still be worth the tears. Who knows? The searching will still be worth it And when you still feel the pain, it may not be over yet. Life is a long long journey that we all travel. It's indeed a long... long journey...and eventually we may find our way back home, to whoever or whatever it is that we are all looking for.

Feel the pain until it hurts no more.
Go on. Sail and discover. Who knows what you may have found?
And when sometimes it's not worth it anymore,
we can always rest for a while, but don't give up on the dreams we are fighting for.

23 @ January 2013

My birthday is fast approaching, and even with life's uncertainties and unpredictabilities, I still feel excited but a little sentimental. I am excited because it's simply a day to be joyful, thankful, and to celebrate. Much has been given to me, really for 23 long years. Yes, I'm turning 23 this January 24! A year older, and hopefully better and wiser! The past experiences mold me to become the person I am right now, and I have no regrets nor bitterness, just lessons learned. I have no doubts and questions at all, really. In terms of my career, education, family, friendships, finances and spiritual growth, I know I am abundantly blessed. As what I am always saying, I am this point in time where I am happy with what God has given me, and whatever it is that is not yet here, I am still waiting for it with high hopes and patience, knowing that it will be granted soon. I keep the faith and fire burning in my heart.

Somehow, I also feel a tinge of sentimentality, maybe because I am a year older, and yes.... more expectations from others which can really make or break you. Starting last year though, I have learned not to make these pressure get into my mind. I hear them utter those words, it enters my left ear and comes out to the right. We just have to accept that we cannot please everyone, for crying out loud. The moment you allow them to make you feel that you are incomplete, incompetent, and lacking, then that will be tantamount to a life of doubts and discontentment. And as I turn 23 years old, I'd like to shoo away that kind of thinking. We are what we think, so if I chose to live simply, happily, and with contentment, that is my call.

After these bouts of introspection, I seriously want to thank all those people who have been with me along the way: God, my family, my classmates, friends, church mates, students, colleagues, online buddies, text buddies, and even all my blog readers here in Blogger world. Life is a vast ocean we have to sail, but I was able to weather all the storms in my sea of life because I know there are people who loves, depends, cares, and looks up to me. I want to make these people happy in the same way that they give me the energy to radiate joy. My love tank is full and I want to share that love to others too. So before I turn another year older, thank you, whoever you are. I look forward to more years and birthdays and I hope that you will be with me as I journey on.

Gratitude. A happy and contented heart. Peace of mind. Love. Wisdom. Charity. Those are just the things I am asking for on my birthday. I'm at this point in life where I sort of let go of ambitious and grand dreams. As always, I am always a simple girl who can be easily made happy by someone through their littlest and sincerest efforts. I am not after the material things anymore, because I know those won't last. God knows the desires of my heart, and I still do look forward to what He has in store for my birthday. I am waiting, waiting, and waiting! I seem to never get tired of it, honestly! Hehehehehe :D

And anything that is beautiful in His time is worth the sacrifices and the wait. My arms are wide open and I just want to do all that I can to be an inspiration to others. Life is not just always about me. I want to sail, or fly, and spread myself all the more. I can do anything, because I have the passion to achieve my dreams. I am opening myself to the out pour of blessings. I am full of zest and excitement. I really am.

Happy birthday to me. And yes, may the Lord give me the desires of my heart. 

1/24/2013 is the day!

para kay "the one who got away"

Ikaw, oo, ikaw.

Ikaw yung "the one who got away" ko.

Lahat nga siguro ng pick-up line pwede ko ng aralin, para sana mapansin at tingnan mo lang ako. Wa-epek ba? Siguro?

Ang tagal ko na ding nagdadasal. Pinagdaanan ko na lahat. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Pero nasa process pa din ako ng acceptance.

Sabi ko nga akala ko "Just when I though I was over you" na ang peg ng buhay ko. Nagdaan na ang lahat ng bagyo, biglang "Ill never get over you" naman... pwede ring "I'll never go far away from you." At the end of the day, kumakanta ang puso ko "Bakit nga ba mahal kita?" Best friend ko na tuloy si Roselle Nava.

Kailan oh kailan, kailan mo ba mapapansin ang aking lihim? Kahit anong gawing lambing, di mo pinapansin. Lahat na ata ginawa ko. Inaway na kita, naglalambing, nagpapakabait, nagsusungit, nagdidisappear, ngunit sa puso ko'y ikaw pa rin! Awwww!

Ang hirap ng ganito. And I hid inside, till I almost died. Lagi kitang tinitingnan pag sa malayo. Hanggang tingin na lang, pasulyap-sulyap, admiring you from afar...from a distance. Minsan nakakatempt na ngang lumapit sa yo. Magpakilala, kahit kilala mo na ko. Baka kasi di pa nakaimprint sa puso mo yung pangalan ko eh, ako na ang gagawa para sa 'yo.

Pero ayaw ko din namang ipilit sarili ko. That's why I tried to maintain some sort of distance. Pero after all what I have been through, it all comes down to you, and only you. Sana nga it's meant to be the two of us after all. Pero ang tanong kasi: should I give up, or should I keep on chasing pavements? Hanggang kailan, hanggang saan, hanggang matapos ang kailanpaman?

Sabi ko nga napapagod din ang puso. Sutil na puso to eh. Pasaway sobra. Kadenahan ko nga. Swooosh, kumakawala. Hinahabol ka eh. Tumitingin ako sa iba, you know. Promise. Kaso, soulmate nga ata talaga kita. Ang malas ata, hanggang doon na lang ata yon. Friendzoned, I guess so ganun na nga ata ang mangyayari. Ayoko ng friends forever, kung ako lang ang tatanungin, tuloy, ang heartstrings ko, "why can't it be the two of us, why can't we be lovers, only friends."

Sana at the end "tayong dalawa." Ang sarap siguro nun. Ang tagal na kitang hinihintay. And I can't stop the madness until it explodes, minsan. Which goes to say, ang hirap pigilin ng damdamin. Mr. Kupido, sablay ka pumana. Yan tuloy.

Minsan okay ka eh. Para ka lang talagang puzzle piece, which you have to unravel and solve the mystery.

But still and all, tama nga si Kat. Gusto kita. Sobra. Kaso may mga bagay na kailangan "time-out" muna. Pwede kasing nagiintay ako sa wala. Pwede ding sobra na kong si gaga at tanga. All these time, baka sa yo lang ako nakatingin. So is it safe to say na kailangan I should expand my vision. Baka kasi hanggang dito lang tayo. Baka kasi we are not really meant to be.

"In another life, I will be your girl."

Pero kung tayo, there's gonna be one less lonely girl. :D 

teaching = selfless and unconditional love

Yesterday was not an easy day for me. You see, I had four classes, from 8:40- 12:00 pm , then from 1:00-2:00. My break was recess and lunch. It was physically draining, indeed.

But I don't mind getting tired physically. The only thing that can make you forget how exhausted you are is when you eat, sit down a little, and sleep (which I don't think I can do in school, waahhhhh). After some time you get used to the feeling already. However, it was not that thing I am really talking about.

My exhaustion was beside the point. My kids or my advisory class was sometimes getting the hell out of me. You see, teaching can make you a lion, at times, and worse even a dinosaur. If not for the gift of patience and what they so called tender-loving-care which is innate to me, I guess I  have long resigned from this job. But at the end of the day, and much to the laughs and teasing of my friends, they knew all along I will not really have the heart to leave teaching for so long. Why will I, they say, I am a good teacher. And most of all, I am passionate of my craft. So there.

But hey! Teaching is not a bed of roses everyday. It can be a heaven or hell on earth, depending on your student's moods, or class composition. The attitudes of my girls are so varied, and I believe-- extremes. I have the most quiet, one of the most smart, but I also have the loudest, and sometimes sensitive and moody girls. So how do you strike a balance as a teacher, with only you to handle all of them? That was a tough question to answer.

This is just my second year of being a class adviser, and I am telling you, it is a roller coaster ride. Sure they give me the reasons to smile when they are goody-goody, but they can crush my world into pieces whenever I hear negative remarks about them from my colleagues. But I guess being a teacher or a class adviser is really like that. You don't get to choose your kids, they are given to you. Thus, at the end of the day, you make do for whatever it is that's given, and you strive to mold them to the person you hope they will be. Even if the going gets tough, you stand by them. And as cliche as it may sound, you are there, never giving up.

Having this class as my advisory is a challenge for me this year. We deal with different issues everyday-- from the troubles of peer-pressure, isolation, bullying, problems with academics, friendship conflicts...the list is, endless! So forth...so on. And as I am facing them each day, trying to show that face of bravery and dependability, I realized that more than the brains and the techniques you learned from your undergrad days, it takes a well-formed character to be a good teacher. Dealing with all those issues can be terrifying. If you are emotionally unstable and unsure of yourself, how can you direct these kids to the right path? If you never worked on improving and loving yourself, how can you radiate an unconditional love to these children?

Being a teacher is indeed close to motherhood. And being with this kids makes me feel I've grown so much and that someday, I will really know the ins and outs of parenting. Being a teacher made me learn how to connect, sympathize, listen, and understand without judging. But most of all, I would say that I learned to love my kids for who they are, and even for what they are not. Everything is a matter of selfless love and unconditional acceptance. You love them because they are your kids, and at the end, all you want is simply the best for them, nothing more, nothing less.

Therefore, even if sometimes I would rather shrink and die than deal with all my kids' petty issues, I chose to stand strong and be resolute that we will all breakthrough. After all, I am their mother in school, and if I will give up on them, who else will be there to help them get up and carry on. I love them wholeheartedly, and even if they can vex me to the infinite point of no return, I know that I will still go back to them and prod them to stand when they fall. After all, that's the real essence of teaching- never giving up in believing in your students even in the bleakest of all situations.

Christmas single??? No more!

Hail to the Holiday and Christmas season. How may days do we have before that time of the year comes, once again? Here we are again busying ourselves with the endless Christmas shopping and panic buying, as if its the "end of the world." Oh well, seriously speaking, Christmas is always something we look forward to.

As for all the SMPs out there, welcome to the federation! But honestly, this time around, for reasons unbeknownst to me, I really don't know why I'm not fretting this team. Comparing to how I was 3-4 years ago, I always ALMOST cry everytime it's Christmas thinking that "Here I am again, single, lonely, no boyfriend, not even a single suitor or admirer." The year 2012 was really a big turning point in my life. Things do change, though not in an instant, and much as I am certain that I want and need to be inlove, I am not overly paranoid about it. Not anymore.

Maybe because recently someone broke my heart. But well, yes, I decided to let him go (and set him free so I can free myself from the manacles too) once and for all. There's no used to be stuck on the same plane while you're just waiting endlessly for Mr. Paasa. Cris has his own reasons, which I tried to understand. Admittedly there were lapses on my part, too. And much as I regret it, it's too late. Anyways, you have too learn to grant yourself forgiveness just the same. If things did not work out the way you both wanted it to be, acceptance is the sure key. Someone better is out there waiting for me, I just have to believe everyday, and yes, endure and wait PATIENTLY.

So what's there to look forward to this Christmas? Lovelife? It will come, YESSS!!!! Deep inside me, I know I deserve that good guy I am praying for. Perhaps that's exactly the reason why I am excited rather than panicky that the Yuletide Season is coming. I am overly anticipating, and my arms and heart are both wide open for the blessing. Unusual? Yes it is for me to act this way! First time? Yes it really is! I'm glad for the change that's happening to me. And this time, I will take it to heart, I'll do my very best to ward off the paranoid and desperate thoughts.

I'll live a hundred years and do everything that I can to live meaningfully. Deep inside my heart, I know that I have a family to build and take care of, that with my kids and hubby. Whoever he is, I just hope he will know how eager and overly excited I am to finally meet him. Would you believe when I say my love tank is overflowing that I'd like to share that love with someone else? It really is. I am ready to give that love wholeheartedly. I know I will. My heart is telling me it is coming, soon.

Hence, this coming December, I know there are innumerable reasons to rejoice and celebrate. With a happy heart, I am ending this year with prayers and faith that finally God answered my prayer, I just have to believe. I am no longer desperate and doubtful, I know it's here. He's coming. How will I know? My heart will just tell me, and when he's finally there, there's not a moment to loose, as I will never let go.

So to my darling and dearest, see you. I know this Christmas will be the happiest ever. Even if you may not be around during that time yet, I claim it that it will be the time that God will finally give His big YEEESSSS to my prayer.

"And whatever it is that you asked for in Prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."
Amen!!!

new directions

After all that I've been through lately (the hurly-burly and ups and downs of emotions), I finally mulled-over that I cannot be the cry baby that I was and still am. It's freaking hard to change overnight, but I have that irking feeling that I want to transform myself. It is really difficult to let go of the things you are used to, just as it is difficult to let go and forget that person you loved so dearly. But then again, at the end of the day, I may end whining and tearing and sulking, but my happiness is still up to me.

Complaining will bring me nowhere, just as worrying is like a rocking chair that keeps moving but stays at the same place. If I cannot change the way things are, then might as well I change my mindset about them. The pressure of finding my one true love bugs me. I tried to grab the opportunity when there was one, but ended up in vain. Believe it or not though, I am not regretful nor bitter. Why do I have to keep crying about something which is over? Even if he did not really give me the closure I deserve, it is a challenge for me to move forward on my own. Indeed, you will always have yourself to depend on, and to rely on others will fail us, more often than not.

I am not afraid to fall inlove again. If it will happen (which I know will happen, sooon :) ), then it will and I will gladly accept it with arms wide open under the sunlight. I have no fears, doubts, and hesitations. I am not rushing things. It's just that, this time, I know that my love tank is overflowing with love that I would share it without hesitations to that someone. As Toni G. puts it, "one day, that man will come into your life and will make you forget that your heart was ever broken." So I am not setting my dream of finding my one true love aside. It is too early to give up. Much has happened but that does not entail letting go of such a noble and wondrous dream. Besides, things do not happen only twice, but mistakes are repeated unless they are learned. If I failed again and again, then I will dust off my knee and stand again and again. What's wrong with that huh? Nothing. I am sometimes weak, frail, losing judgment, but that does not make me less of a person. i am human after all. I do not brag that I am invincible. This warrior will always be a child longing for her dear parent's love and affection. But despite all the struggles, I have proven that I become strong when I am at my weakest point.

So what's there to be afraid of, honestly? Nothing. Worrying still about tomorrrow? Maybe, yes, but that will not ultimately cloud my vision. A bright future is ahead of me, and it's glaring my eyes because I feel there's so much, I just have to seize every opportunity that comes my way. And for all the hurdles, the pain, tears, and heartbreaking moments I have been through lately, I have nothing but gratitude because the Lord entrusted me with all those. He believes in my resilience and in my ability to breakthrough. Thus, is there still a need to fear. Definitely, No. No matter how hard it may sound, I'll do everything in my power not to fret about the future. Let tomorrow take care of itself. What matters is the present, that you have the willingness to do everything that you can today so that you will have no regrets in the future.

God is always good to me, today, tomorrow, and until the end of time. If there is something that I will hold on to tightly, that is my faith in HIM. It will remain unceasing and unwavering, and I know by keeping the faith aflame, that day will come when God will answer all my prayers, and He will grant my heart's desires, even better than what I have asked for.

And I believe that whatever it is that you asked for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. I claim it in Jesus' mighty name. Amen :))

a brave heart :)

Days fly so swiftly, passing like a thief in the night. It has been almost a month since I decided to take the fall and embrace the risk, and I would say, I do not regret doing it at all. I love him, and that's all that matters.

I entered in this relationship without no guarantee as to where it will lead me, but all I know is, my heart is full of hopes that this too shall soon work out. With prayers as my ultimate and everyday shield, I most certainly believe that we can make it through. It's all a matter of trust, understanding, and sometimes, compromise.

Even with the uncertainties and doubts hovering around, I am sure that I don't want to give up on him, on us. Sometimes though, the paranoia lingers and I cannot help but stop and be suspicious and worrisome. At the end of the day, I know my childish attitude starts to kick in and when I do not get what I want, I get overly impatient, to the point that I almost breakdown. Thankfully, everyday is a learning experience for me. Slowly and surely, I am learning to manage my emotions, though from time to time, I still feel frustrated because it is honestly, still not easy. But I face each day with a brave soul and an eager heart, and I know I will soon soar high with flying colors, I just have to learn the hard way.

Time can tell and soon I know we'll both find a way. Communication is the constant key to make this all work. I won't lose hope. It's too early to give up. Whatever happens, I'll just hold on but be open to all possibilities at the same time. As always, I'll do what's best and what's right. And since I already started to take that big risk, I will always make sure that I'll give it my best shot. Whatever happens, I do not want to live a life with regrets anymore. So I will try my very best to tell how much I love him, even if I know, I have this weakness at directly expressing things.

So even fear and paranoia finds their way sometimes, I won't let it devour me. I am the master of my emotions. I will be strong, resolute, and prudent. I know what I want and I won't hold back nor let go. I will fight for this no matter what. And time can tell, someday, if we are truly meant for each other. But as for now, I will seize each day, cherish each moment, and live each day as if it were my last. And I won't let each day pass without telling him, that he means the world to me. :)

to mr. CC

Dearest Cris,

I don't know how long we'll be like this. Sometimes because you are hard to reach and you are bombarded with lots of work, it's seemingly (or really) hard to find you. I can feel; however, that you are trying. Maybe there are reasons beyond your control which hinders you to at least communicate with me. Nonetheless, my heart says, despite all the clouds of doubts and worries, that I have to hold on, as this scenario won't really last long. As it is, this is the dry spell of our relationship. I guess, soon the sun will dawn on the two of us and I shall see you again.

So when you are far away from me, I am always praying that God will shield you with His loving arms so that you will be kept safe all the time.  I can feel that it's difficult with you being far, but maybe, they are right in saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder than ever. It takes patience and fortitude though, to endure all these. Apparently, the selfish girl within me is trying to kick in, only that she wants to have you, near her, the very least. But that motive is ultimately self-centered, and a relationship, I so believe, is not merely about oneself, but in giving and taking, and understanding one another.

This time, I'd like to trust that my intuition is finally right. This time, I'd like to believe that you'll never disappear on me for reasons unknown. This time, I hold on to my belief that you are no longer enigmatic. This time, I am firm, that you will never ever fail me again. I trust you, and everyday, I am praying that you will never prove me wrong. I keep the faith, so I hope that you'll do something too. I know you will, I have high hopes. :)

I miss you. And I can't wait for that day when you'll be back. So in the meantime, I'll keep praying that you are fine. I know I'll see you again. Soon. :)

I love you.

love thoughts

I am happy and contented. Life has been a breeze lately. Though there are still things which are lower than my expectations (and my fantasies do not come alive), so far, things are getting better. As I said, we are both trying to work it out. And because he's not aware that this relationship is still not open to the public (hence, kept as a secret), this blog will be my constant confidant. Until such time that I believe I can broadcast it to everyone, I will still keep mum about it.

I am not ashamed of Cris. He's a good guy and I know he's worthy of the love I am giving him. It's just that, when I come out of the open, I just want to be ready and really sure of things. For sure people will ask and interrogate me, especially that it has really been a long time since I was single (in fact since birth). But I really wanted to be sure before everyone knows. In fact, my mom is not aware of it, yet.

Yet, I am indeed happy about the turn-about of things. As for the effort, I can see how he's trying to reach out more (maybe he has learned his lesson). Apparently, he is not your usual or conservative type of guy. I don't think he believes in courtship either. And here I am, a girl who's blinded by the ideal romance stories I've seen on TV, movies, or read in books. But he's just not like that, I know he likes me, and as I see, the moment I gave him that Yes, he's more persistent in proving that he's indeed the right one. It's like a "love me now, and I'll court you forever drama."  And what I really like about the things he just said is that he's willing to wait until such time I'm  ready to love him wholeheartedly. The mutual affection is there. We both like each other. I guess it's him who's more certain that this is love. And he's in no rush to make me feel the same, because he knows or believes, eventually, we will be on the same page.

I can certainly feel that this time, he won't fail me. In fact, it's no longer nerve wracking and the paranoia gets lesser and lesser everyday. I'm happy and contented. I have no regrets that I decided to take a risk, and I hope and pray, that it will always remain this way. I'm willing to do what's right and what's best to make this relationship work. With prayers and faith in God, Cris and I can both make it happen. It may not be the perfect and ideal relationship, but as long as we are both happy and contented, that's all that matters.

_CC

for the effort

Sometimes when you least expect things, that's when good things keep coming your way. And honestly, that's when all of a sudden, the doubts simply fade away. Oh well.

I didn't really expect that he'll do that. Knowing his "now you see me, now you don't" attitude, I know that he can just disappear witthout warning and do this out of his whims. Apparently, people do change, too. My mistake is that I sort of judged him. Then, I was then proven wrong.

I was about to slap myself and laugh hard, but deep inside, I knew I appreciated the effort 100%. After all, it's true that if you really want something/someone, you will by all means exhaust all possible efforts to have it done.

And I am not ungrateful or unappreciative, my heart melts too. I am seem unexpressive, but this time, I'll give it to him, as he deserves it for the good that he did. He had a 100 points from me for that. And this time, I'm quite confident, he won't do the same disappearing act to me, ever again. When he comes back, I will have to tell him how I most certainly appreciate what he did. :) He deserves it, this time. And with all that, who am I not to trust and give him that chance?

It's the littlest and sincerest actions that matters most (and I can feel it this time).

_CC_

a hopeful heart :D

Sometimes I can get really paranoid, suspicious, and doubtful. But I am learning everyday as I am confronted with a lot of trials. Again, each day is a learning experience, and I will use each day to get something meaningful so I will eventually grow and mature.

Yes, more often, he does not meet my least expectations, or the very basic things I expect from him. But actually, that does not make me love him less. In fact, because sometimes I do not expect anymore because he can get really disappointing, I am left surprised by some of his actions. Oh well, I am generally easy to please, actually. I hold on to my faith that he has his own ways, and it's just a matter of time. :D

I promised myself that I will do what's best and right for us. I may not be that perfect girl, but I'll make sure I am the right one for him. I may be immature and illogical at times, but that does not mean I care less. In fact, I overwhelmingly care, to the point that I can get paranoid as to his whereabouts, now that I'm getting to know him more. Time is my greatest opponent, and I hate that feeling that we are competing with one another. But I am optimistic that when he finds the time, he'll give it to me too. I just have to have faith and simply trust, while staying open to the possibilities.

And of course, I will never give up. Whenever frustrations kick in, I'll take a deep breathe, calm down, and PRAY. I am lifting up all my worries to HIM. I know that all these happens for a purpose. And when you love someone, you hold on, and never let go. You believe, and never allow doubt to get in the way (even if it's persistent). And because you love, you give your best and do everything to understand.

Yes I know I can do so much for him. Again and again, I pray, he'll have his own ways of doing the same too. I believe in him and I trust in God, things will eventually turn well. I know, in my heart I am sure, it will.

-CC

someday

SOMEDAY

“When someone walks away from you, it’s not the end of your story.

It’s the end of their role in your story.”

                People come and go. At times, due to this, we are intensely perplexed by the seemingly fleetingness of things. It’s true, letting go is always easier said than done.  Acceptance will always be a pain in the neck; nonetheless, it’s still a bitter pill we have to swallow. We are left with no choice.

                Heartbreaks are always terrifying. But when you attach yourself to somebody, there is that chance of getting hurt, whether we like it or not.  However, who would like to fully embrace pain? True enough, it is something all humans dread. Most certainly, it is.

                Even if it sounds so throbbing, we all have to accept life’s reality, that not all people are meant to stay with us forever. Again, people will come and get to know you, and later on leave, sometimes even without warning. We may be left questioning, lingering, wondering, and agonizing but what’s the use? We will shed a bitter tear, only to realize, tearing up may not be worth it.

                Acceptance is always the sure key. I want to use the word forgetting, but acceptance would sound better since it implies that you let go without ill-feelings. Forgetting may suggest totally eradicating that person in your life, up to the point of scrapping even the memories in your head. But how easy it is to accept? Is it still possible? Of course it is, but then again, it’s something that we must do courageously, with willingness that is.

                When people leave we will surely ask ourselves why this sort of things happened. I, too, felt the same way. I lost all the desire to believe in myself and to look forward to what life could still give me. I asked why the world is unfair to me, when all I am ever hoping for is to find my “one true love”. Hearing myself say all those things, I was dumbfounded. But who else will help me cope with the loss but myself? I cannot totally rely on other people. Yes, they are there to guide me, give me pieces of advice, and enlightenment, but it is still me who will do all the working. I have to affirm my belief in myself, be strong, move forward, and carry on. Indeed, there’s wisdom in experiencing hurdles like these. I learned how to be strong amidst travails and to hold on to God, the ONE who will never let me go.

                At this point of my life, I have been through a lot. And I know for sure, that more people will come and go in my life. But should this be a reason for us to be afraid? Knowing how fleeting relationships may last, how else can we find security? Pause for a while, ask, why be clouded with paranoia? If people will leave us, for sure, there are reasons. Reasons that we may not fully understand now, but in HIS time, we will, certainly.

                Some people will come in our lives momentarily. They may be here to open our eyes and perhaps teach us a lesson. Whether we like it or not, others’ role may be to hurt us and make us cry, so that we may be strengthened. And through all the pains, we discover the beauty of pain, seeing that through hurting we will learn to explore, take risks, and even marvel that God has given us much support system from family and friends. As demanding as it may sound, it will still be best not to harbour grudges and bitterness just because a person left a scar in your heart. As martyr as it may sound, but if we embrace bitterness, we are the one losing at the end. Bitterness hinders us to see the beauty that life has yet to offer. Life is wonderful, full of beautiful people and great things that are yet to come. And if we are clouded by the obscure clouds brought by bitterness, we are losing the many marvellous opportunities in life. So why be bitter? Let go, move on, and if things do not work the way we want it to be, accept it. Besides, God will not allow something to happen without a purpose. Something better is in store.

                So if someone broke my heart and will do the same just again, I won’t be bothered. If the same things happen twice and maybe more than, it’s an opportunity for us to learn. For every downfall, the key is to learn the lesson and hopefully be wiser, better, and not to repeat the same mistakes. Problems should not transform us into chicken-hearted individuals, rather as soldiers who are equipped with shields ready for any battle. I am not afraid to face life, and in the right time, I am ready to love wholeheartedly. It will take time though, I guess. What I will do today is to be more optimistic and embrace all the positivities that at the end I may attract the good energies.

                The universe has its own course. Time will heal all wounds. So if you do experience rejection today, strive to make yourself better. Every day is a chance to learn and discover our self. True, there are so much that we can do.  The challenge is ours for the taking. Despite the pain, is the call of picking up the pieces of life with God’s help, and at the end we will all see and perhaps even conclude, that whatever it was that we experienced, was for the better. We may even find out, it was God’s act of saving us from the wrong one, that of which we will surely be thankful.

                For now, I am accepting the turn-about of things, letting go of the negative thoughts, and moving forward with a joyful heart. God is working through my life, so what could be more better than that? I will rejoice and celebrate because I have thousands of good things in store and a number of opportunities are mine for the taking. Someday, when the right time comes, I will surely find the one who is destined for me. And when that time in my life comes, I will surely thank God for all the heartaches I’ve been through, for by saving me from the wrong one, He lead me to my soul mate. That day I will look forward with hope and anticipation, but in the meantime, I will discover myself first, get to know more people, be of good influence to others, and serve God wholeheartedly. I will meet him when I am most ready. Someday. God knows when, so I  trust HIM, completely.