the big girl bids goodbye to fairy tales

The Big Girl Bids Goodbye to Fairy Tales

“When I was a little girl I used to read fairy tales. In fairy tales you meet Prince Charming and he's everything you ever wanted. In fairy tales the bad guy is very easy to spot. The bad guy is always wearing a black cape so you always know who he is. Then you grow up and you realize that Prince Charming is not as easy to find as you thought. You realize the bad guy is not wearing a black cape and he's not easy to spot; he's really funny, and he makes you laugh, and he has perfect hair.” – Taylor Swift

                Shakespeare once wrote that “The Course of True Love never did run smooth.” In the process of finding that love, we craft the grandest love story in our imagination only to be left bewildered by the harsh reality of love. It was, is, and will never be a piece of cake. At times, it can be a pain and the neck. Our dreams suddenly were shaken, vanished, and crushed into bits and pieces. It’s only then that we started to let go of the myths we hold on to for so long, and the little girl within us starts to die. As it is love is not always about finding the prince charming in times of distress. Or maybe there is really no fairy God mother who will help us find that one true love. When pain strikes our heart, loud and hard, reality knocks us off our feet and we begin to embrace the fact that love is not always, a fairy tale.

                More often than not this is a bitter pill to swallow. Who would’ve want a prince charming, one such being described in the fairy tales we grew up with? But as we struggle to find love, and eventually grow older and wiser, we start to look at everything in a different light. True love happens when it’s bound to happen, but it takes one brave action as well. It takes a woman of character and integrity to find the right man, and playing the “damsel in distress drama” might be useless. A woman who has the mature outlook and perspective in life knows what her dreams, purpose, and passion are and she is living it up day by day. It’s not always about waiting for the “knight in shining armor riding in a white horse” coming to save her and drive her to a castle far-away.

                But even if life turns sour and love seems so difficult to find, there is always a reason to hope for and hold on to. The little girl within us may die after the devastating outcomes brought about by harsh life, but the spirit will never expire. The tears shed are never useless as through pain we are sharpened and toughened, hopefully in a good way. Pain comes with a purpose, whatever that reason is, despite it being difficult to comprehend. It’s just that the little girl dreams and fantasizes, and the big girl hopes, prays, and makes it happen. She learns her lessons from her mistakes and slowly lets go of the ideal and cling on to what’s real and achievable. Still and all, whatever adversities she faced, this will never diminish her belief in herself as she already realized her worth. This means she is no longer the princess in waiting, but a well-grounded woman.

                Is it still worthy to look for a prince charming nowadays? Maybe yes, maybe no. But I guess Prince Charming is just an ideal instilled to us and an over attachment to it may lead to delusions and further hallucinations. Why look for the ideal prince charming when I can find a real man? No one is perfect. But sure there is the "right" one.

                I guess from time to time it’s still good to go back to the child in us and believe in fairy tales. But this is real life- we grow, we learn, we make mistakes, we mature. We realize that we need to distinguish the difference from fantasy and reality. And when the tough gets going and the going gets tough, we learn to both accept and let go. Accept that there are things which are never meant to happen and people in life we can never ever have. Till then we can confidently tell ourselves “I’ve grown up. I’m no longer a little girl. My experiences enabled me to learn and polished me to become better.”

teaching = selfless and unconditional love

Yesterday was not an easy day for me. You see, I had four classes, from 8:40- 12:00 pm , then from 1:00-2:00. My break was recess and lunch. It was physically draining, indeed.

But I don't mind getting tired physically. The only thing that can make you forget how exhausted you are is when you eat, sit down a little, and sleep (which I don't think I can do in school, waahhhhh). After some time you get used to the feeling already. However, it was not that thing I am really talking about.

My exhaustion was beside the point. My kids or my advisory class was sometimes getting the hell out of me. You see, teaching can make you a lion, at times, and worse even a dinosaur. If not for the gift of patience and what they so called tender-loving-care which is innate to me, I guess I  have long resigned from this job. But at the end of the day, and much to the laughs and teasing of my friends, they knew all along I will not really have the heart to leave teaching for so long. Why will I, they say, I am a good teacher. And most of all, I am passionate of my craft. So there.

But hey! Teaching is not a bed of roses everyday. It can be a heaven or hell on earth, depending on your student's moods, or class composition. The attitudes of my girls are so varied, and I believe-- extremes. I have the most quiet, one of the most smart, but I also have the loudest, and sometimes sensitive and moody girls. So how do you strike a balance as a teacher, with only you to handle all of them? That was a tough question to answer.

This is just my second year of being a class adviser, and I am telling you, it is a roller coaster ride. Sure they give me the reasons to smile when they are goody-goody, but they can crush my world into pieces whenever I hear negative remarks about them from my colleagues. But I guess being a teacher or a class adviser is really like that. You don't get to choose your kids, they are given to you. Thus, at the end of the day, you make do for whatever it is that's given, and you strive to mold them to the person you hope they will be. Even if the going gets tough, you stand by them. And as cliche as it may sound, you are there, never giving up.

Having this class as my advisory is a challenge for me this year. We deal with different issues everyday-- from the troubles of peer-pressure, isolation, bullying, problems with academics, friendship conflicts...the list is, endless! So forth...so on. And as I am facing them each day, trying to show that face of bravery and dependability, I realized that more than the brains and the techniques you learned from your undergrad days, it takes a well-formed character to be a good teacher. Dealing with all those issues can be terrifying. If you are emotionally unstable and unsure of yourself, how can you direct these kids to the right path? If you never worked on improving and loving yourself, how can you radiate an unconditional love to these children?

Being a teacher is indeed close to motherhood. And being with this kids makes me feel I've grown so much and that someday, I will really know the ins and outs of parenting. Being a teacher made me learn how to connect, sympathize, listen, and understand without judging. But most of all, I would say that I learned to love my kids for who they are, and even for what they are not. Everything is a matter of selfless love and unconditional acceptance. You love them because they are your kids, and at the end, all you want is simply the best for them, nothing more, nothing less.

Therefore, even if sometimes I would rather shrink and die than deal with all my kids' petty issues, I chose to stand strong and be resolute that we will all breakthrough. After all, I am their mother in school, and if I will give up on them, who else will be there to help them get up and carry on. I love them wholeheartedly, and even if they can vex me to the infinite point of no return, I know that I will still go back to them and prod them to stand when they fall. After all, that's the real essence of teaching- never giving up in believing in your students even in the bleakest of all situations.