I love me

I will never be that hot and sexy girl.

I cannot wear skimpy outfits confidently, knowing that my flabs and bulges will be seen through.

I’d love to wear that short shorts, but my legs are like logs.

I never had that coveted thigh gap, but I can walk, run, jump still as much as I want. So that thigh gap does not really bother me anymore.

I look at girls and see them very trendy with their fashion,

baring their arms and shoulders, confidently, for the world to see.

I want to do that too, but every time I do, I would get remarks which all boils down to saying that it does not suit me.

So I go back to having myself covered,

Hiding the imperfections and insecurities.

But even with all that I don’t and can’t have,

It won’t let me love myself and my body less.

For the flabs, bulges, lines, stretch marks, creases, freckles

Make the person that I am.

And these flaws make me human

Worthy of love and respect,

Regardless of whether my totality

Is equivalent to the world’s crazy standard of beauty.

And maybe, I may not be that hot and sexy girl at all,

Nor one that warrants a second look when you see at the streets

But I don’t need to be that one.

I will wear what I feel that suits me, even if that means pants that are loose and baggy.

I will be happy and healthy, rather than thin, frail, and sickly,

Because I deprive myself of savoring good food to eat.

And the people who truly love me, will know that despite all the imperfections

Is a lady whose heart is genuine

One that is passionate for her craft

Who embraces what she lacks and remains unabated by the world’s pressing standards.

For it takes wise and like-minded people to see,

That beneath the mien of this simple looking girl

is a beauty that is skin deep.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

I really think that this songs reflect my current state in life. Thank you Kelly Clarkson! :)
I will be stronger! I can! :)

************

You know the bed feels warmer
Sleeping here alone
You know I dream in colour
And do the things I want

You think you got the best of me
Think you've had the last laugh
Bet you think that everything good is gone
Think you left me broken down
Think that I'd come running back
Baby you don't know me, cause you're dead wrong

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

You heard that I was starting over with someone new
They told you I was moving on over you

You didn't think that I'd come back
I'd come back swinging
You try to break me, but you see

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

Thanks to you I got a new thing started
Thanks to you I'm not the broken-hearted
Thanks to you I'm finally thinking about me
You know in the end the day you left was just my beginning
In the end...

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

[2x]
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

(When I'm alone)

Know your worth

Know your worth

Wayne Dyer once said that self-worth comes from one thing - thinking that you are worthy. Our worth as a person is more than what we know; however, we sometimes keep searching for what we already possess inside us.  The kingdom of God is within us and He is always willing to increase the resources in our life. But our success is also dependent on understanding and believing that “we are worth it”.

It is a common question that we ask why we lack blessings in life. Once we determine our self worth, then comes our knowledge of our net worth. Money problems can actually be solved by working on our minds or the way we think of ourselves. In reality, the problem is not the provider, but the receiver. God’s capacity to give is bigger than our capacity to receive. Hence, what we just have to do is increase our psychological wallet and believe that God wants to bless us abundantly.

Failures will haunt us and make us doubt, but this should not define what we are as a person. The secret to achieving is attributes multiplied by our attitude, so when we change the way we see ourselves, success follows soon. When we have good habits such as knowing our value and believing our abilities, subsequently good fruits are there for the reaping.

A better self-worth is achievable. First, one has to establish a self-ideal, or how you want to see yourself. Second, is to know how you see yourself now, or your self-image. And when the self-ideal and self-image is working, then you’ll have a good self-esteem, or the confidence and satisfaction in oneself.

Our life is like a mirror, it reflects the way we see and think of ourselves. The image that you see in that mirror is dependent on what you believe and what you want to see. Why not try to change the way you look at yourself now? Change your thoughts and you can change your world. And with a fervent heart, just proclaim: “I’m God’s Beloved, I’m God’s Servant, I’m God’s powerful champion, and because I am blessed, I will bless the world.” J

I say that I CAN

It's November and lo and behold a month before December, the month we are all waiting for. I love the soothing feeling that Christmas songs bring me, it makes me feel sentimental/ emotional clothe with anticipation. I'm not a kiddo anymore, but most certainly, looking forward to the Yuletide season gives one the vitality and the energy to live on, especially when your brain and body cells are slowly shrinking in number. These months make me feel excited for the year to come, and yes, I claim it that year 2014 is the YEAR of CHANGE.

The Year 2013 started it all when I did one daring and audacious move, one which I kept contemplating whether I'll do it or not for the past two to three years. Much to my amazement, I was able to survive and let it go, even if I was rather dumbfounded and flabbergasted with the results. I did not get what I want, but I just tried to think that I gained more than I lost. Life is too beautiful that I can't afford sulking and crying and fretting over something which I can never have, nor something which I can never rekindle. 2013 being the year of courage enabled me to have grace in defeat, and in the long run, making me reign victorious even then.

And yes, I just did another bold move, which is to finally say "NO" on my job preference form- this time with full conviction. Honestly, I do not know yet where I will go. Who knows where I will be landing next school year. But what is there to fear? The fear of the unknown is something which cowers us humans being; hence, impending our abilities to stretch ourselves to the limits and unleash our potentials. Perhaps this change will be good for me. A change of workplace, culture, people who I will be dealing with- this all means growth. And yes, I embrace and welcome change and growth, which I may never fully have if I remain stuck in the same workplace. I am more excited than fearful, and I am loving the feeling.

I am happy that I am slowly doing things outside my comfort zone. It's true that you can never play it safe in life. Recently, I just experienced selling bags to my friends, relatives, and colleagues, and in less than three weeks time, they're almost sold out! Now I have one more bag left, and I am planning to order and sell bags again. This time, I might even sell bracelets! I also accepted being a Connect Group Apprentice in our church, which means I am being trained to be a leader/mentor to our other worship service attendees. Indeed, life could not get any better than this. I am happy for all the blessings which keep coming my way. If not for the trials which sharpened me before, I would never experience such joy which overflows. Truly, I learned to appreciate life's simply joys and littlest blessings, because I knew how it is to be in terrible and heartbreaking pain.

That in all things God may be glorified. My life is a continuous work in progress. But I fear not because I know I have people who care for me genuinely, I am blessed with so much, and I have a God up there who always lifts me up during my heavy fall. Life may be full of imperfections, but all the more it makes life such a wonder, as I cherish the ups and downs of the roller coaster ride of life. I would make do of what I have, and use the gifts given to me to bless the people around me, and the world. I know, I can do anything. I just have to believe! :)

I welcome all the changes and new things that will happen this 2014. I am most ready. I know, I always CAN. :)

I am Titanium :)

The expectations that society give can really be overwhelming, drowning, and excruciating. At the age of 20-21, they expect you to graduate, which is pretty normal, and should really be the case. After you land a good job, save for yourself, help your parents in the process, people will start bugging you the perennial question of whether you are in a relationship or not. If you are, congratulations, people are happy for you, but wait, there's more, they will ask you "so when are you going to get married?" And if not, then brace yourself, you'll be bombarded with "Why not?" Let me rephrase it "Oh What's wrong with you, yadda yadda yadda." Sometimes people will even have the temerity to say "So don't you feel lonely that you are single." And here comes the "life threatening" statement, "It's hard to grow old. You are not getting any younger. The clock ticks, fast!" As if getting into a serious relationship is as easy as ABC or 123.

Seriously speaking, those expectations can be frustrating and nerve racking. I mean, what the hell is wrong with being single? Even Ramon Bautista would say, "there's nothing wrong with being single. There's no problem, really. You just allow the comments of the people around you to get into your head, and that creates a problem." I am not saying that being in a relationship is problematic, either. Come on, don't you feel happy when you see people in love. But if you want to be in a relationship like that, what's the need to rush?

For 3 years this has been an experience I am battling with. And honestly, it was nightmarish. I feel frustrated because I see couples around me who are very much in love. Some of my friends are getting married and having kids (they married early though). There are times when I will cry out of frustration and even question myself if something's wrong and I would feel the hole, the gap, the space, the missing link. I felt I was incomplete. I would date and meet guys, expect that the person I have been long waiting for will love me, chase him in the process. But then life can really be hard on you, because if it won't, you will never learn. As time goes by though, I had a change of heart and perspective.

I know I still need to be in love. But now, even if people would bug me, I would just shrug off my shoulders and smile. I'm still young, beautiful, smart, what the hell is wrong with me? Nothing. I am not incomplete. I am living my life according to how I want it. I have good friends, a stable job, a family who supports me, a God who never leaves me, a promising life is ahead of me. What else can I ask for? Yes, my life is not perfect. But I will not allow my being single to make me feel less of a woman. I am who I am. This time, nothing and no one can ever shake me. "I'm bullet oroof, nothing to lose. Fire away.. fire away."

A serious relationship is not meant to be rushed. So I meet guys along the way, and just be happy I met them. This time, no pressure. No expectations, at all. Better? Yes, it is. You don't get hurt even if you met a lot along the way and still there's no prospect. A good friend of mine once told me, just go and continue what you are doing right now. Go out, enjoy, sail, meet more people, girls and boys alike. Out of the many encounters you have, who knows, you'll meet that "one."

So I've dated and tried, and didn't work out. Try again. Never stop believing. Life is a work in progress. You fail, you commit mistakes. You learn. You're better. People will judge you and mock you for they feel the delay of your love story. At times I would even be lambasted by saying, you are already too open and friendly, and still no one falls for you (with a cruel laugh). Painful? Yes it is, most certainly. But crestfallen? No. I've guarded myself. I just take good note of the harsh things they said. After all, even with all the good that you do, people will still have something negative to say about you.

And a relationship for me, is something serious. I don't play games. I want to get married, to the right person. To someone who loves me and is more than ready. To someone who will fight for me and will stand by me. I want to marry a man who stands firm in his belief and in his principles. And whilst on my journey to finding that love, I am making myself the "right woman" for the right man. Marriage is a commitment as well. You need a stable job to feed the baby and raise a family. Sometimes, it's just not about love. It's also about commitment, maturity, and responsibility.

Time can tell when I'll find that love. After all what happened in my life, I learned to toughen and make myself numb to what people say about me. I realized I don't always have to listen to them. It's a cruel test. You make yourself deaf because you don't want them to get the hell out of you. But when you are able to do so, you can hold your head up high and say:

You shout it loud, but I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud, not saying much
I'm criticized, but all your bullets ricochet
you shoot me down, but I get up.

So shoot me down, I won't fall
cause I am Titanium! :)

joyful heart

I am not a perfect person. I am not the perfect girlfriend either. We are all not perfect. But despite all our imperfections, I so believe we will find the person who will be our perfect pair. :D

I can be annoying at times. I have issues which I try to resolve, and I am aware of it. Hence, I am still working for constant self-improvement. But that does not make me less of a person. Because truth of the matter is, if given the opportunity to love again soon, I know I can do so much.

Lately, my love tank has really been overflowing. This time it's not a desperate attempt  to seek for attention and love, but I would say I want to share the love inside my heart to that special someone who will complement my completeness. A relationship, I believe, is made of two complete persons. If you are an emotionally unstable, the possibility is, you will attract someone your kind. It's sort of a homing instinct, because you sort of want to heal that broken part of a person which is somehow similar to you. I thought back then that being in a relationship will change me dramatically. Only to realize something which is otherwise.

And so maybe the timing was not right before. So what? We all have to move on. Life must go on. And so everyday, I am facing each day with arms wide open, I'm singing a song, moving a long, dancing to and fro to the song of life . I have never been this happy before. And I thought I should depend on that someone all the time for my happiness. No. Not always.

So this time. I'd like to share the joy that I feel inside to my one true love, whoever he is. And my heart is beating fast because I am most excited. I want to do so much for him. I will do everything for love. And when I finally found him, I will sing to my heart's content and thank God that he finally gave that person to me.

It will all be worth the wait and the waiting won't be too long.

I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change. And breakaway....

I have high hopes in Him, and prayers are my ultimate weapon. :D


Continue to feel the love. :D

Always,

Len :)

just me

I take it to heart that I am beautiful :D

Indeed :P

And confidence is all that I need!

I am happy, being me.


Lots of love

Len <3 b="b">

the passionate writer

Writing has been my constant companion ever since. Even since I was in elementary, I would often find myself scribbling down random poems and short stories. In fact, I would pile and staple bond papers together such that it would look like a book, and then that is exactly where I will write my short story. Indeed, the writer in me has always been in my veins, and in my heart.

For countless times, writing has saved me from the bouts of boredom and from feeling melancholic. It has been my constant companion and ultimate outlet. Whenever a tear is about to fall from my eyes, I would have that desire to grab a pen and express how I am feeling deep inside. And whenever I am simply happy and blessed, I would have the urge to write it all down, too. It's as if I want my cheerful feelings to be contagious, either in blogs, or through a piece of paper.

Not everyone though is gifted with the ability to write, for we are all given talents which are unique to us. But as for me, I believe the gift of writing is the perfect one for someone like me. Since I am highly melancholic by nature, it is best that I express what I feel by writing all down. If not for this gift, I don't know how I'll be able to manage life. It's just that writing has always been my saving grace. It is there with me through thick and thin, and it is the witness to how I am transforming and working on my road to self-fulfillment and happiness.

I may be busy and be doing a lot of things lately. But I know my passion in writing will never ever fade away. At the end of the day, when I feel bored and nothing to do, I can always see myself doing the same thing, and I feel as if I'm in one with myself again. Or maybe through writing I can be in a universe where I am the protagonist. Writing helps me realize my dreams and it made me believe that I can do whatever I can by just simply being me.

And for every battles still to come in my life, I know I will survive. With the pen and the paper as my companion and sword, I know I will never go wrong. I will continue to live and to write for the rest of my life. I will dream on, stay strong, write, and inspire. Because at the end of the day, I am not writing just for myself, my ultimate goal is to make change and to help others learn from my writings, so that they can bring out the best in them too.

So if you have a talent inherent to you, use it. Make it as an instrument to fulfill your dreams. Be passionate about it and believe.

Motivational Quotes

An article from Yahoo! Stay motivated!!!

1)It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog − Archie Griffen.

2) Nothing lasts forever. Not even your troubles − Arnold H Glasgow

3) There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle − Albert Einstein

4) Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave – Mary Tyler Moore

5) Being strong means rejoicing in who you are, complete with imperfections − Margaret Woodhouse

6) If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place − Nora Roberts

7) I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I've been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed − Michael Jordan.

8) The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary − May V. Smith

9) Where hope grows, miracles blossom − Elna Rae

10) A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing − George Bernard Shaw

11) Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent  − Eleanor Roosevelt

12) It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes − Sally Field

13) I quit being afraid when my first venture failed and the sky didn't fall down  − Allen H. Neuharth

14) Hope never abandons you, you abandon it − George Weinberg

15) Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you − Ralph Waldo Emerson

16) Awards become corroded, friends gather no dust − Jesse Owens

17) People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within − Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

18) Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance − Bruce Barton

19) Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it − John Maxwell

20) Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know that so it goes on flying anyway − Mary Kay Ash

random prattles

Hi Miss! Bakit ang tigas ng ulo mo di ba?

Ang sabi mo di mo siya mamimiss, di mo naman matiis?

Ang corny mo minsan. More so, silly, foolish, gullible. Or ****A! Hahahah :D

Inconsistent talaga kasi yun si kuya. Kahit pa gusto ka niya, he won't ever ever change for you.

So well, is it time to let go and look for another? Dami diyan ate, for sure.

So at times like this, hold on to our Maker. For sure, He will lead you to the right man.

And kahit matigas and ulo ko, I'll have faith that  I will find my one true love this 2012.

Me to him: Minsan di ko alam kung bakit nangyayari to. Sabi ko nga kay God, Lord bakit naman ganoon, gusto ko lang naman mahanap yung one true love ko di ba? Pero sige, okay lang, challenge siguro 'to. Kaya keri nalang.

 Him: (laughs as he drives)

If it's not Kuya then for sure there is a guy waiting for me to love him fully and completely, somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight.. someone's thinking of me.

I gave him the chance, and am still giving him, kahit pwede ngang, AWAT na ehhh!

If he lets this go, ayyyyyy, I'm not the fool again anymore. He won't find someone like me, even if he travels the entire world. Kahit libutin pa niya ang Canada. Hahahaha! (There, I've given a clue) :D

So, let's see what will happen next. As Bo Sanchez quotes it, reconciliation will happen. It did happen to him and me, who knows, we can still have that second chat?

I'm not really hoping though. But if there's a chance, then I'll go grab it too.

**** I miss him though. Kaso hindi sobrang pwedeng ipakita. Kaya dito ko nalang ilalabas lahat. Kapag pwede na, maybe I'll make him read all these and he can just laugh over my craziness. I hope all is well with him. Sigh.... *****

innumerable silences

Gone were the twinkling and jingling,

Of sweet nothings and rememberings,

Tides swept of memories

And only bitterness thrives.

The passion (with hatred) rekindles

Fueling till the agony lives on,

Bearing the weight of solitude alone

With the silent whispers deafening the core.

And union with one’s self is the game

Whence haughtiness and contempt arise

Twas none who heard the innermost cries

In the absence of murmurs, she survives.

Until nothingness becomes a cycle

And the seeming apathy remains

But the wailing shadows lurk within

Masked in the mien of terrifying stillness.

nothing in particular

Congratulations!

I'm already a certified Blogger!

Now I have a new account and I'm actually regretting why I signed up here quite late.

Anyways...

my head is aching, without no reason in particular.

My heart wanted to burst as well.

I feel so lonely lately.

It feels like my life is heading nowhere.

I feel like I'm gonna die of loneliness and depression.

It seems my life is no good.

I know few people understand me because I seem so mysterious, quiet, shy, and mysterious.

But that's just me! I can't change just because people wanted me to change.

If they can't accept me for who I am right now, then let it be.

"This is me, this is real, I'm exactly who I'm supposed to be now" as a song goes.

I just find it pathetic why people just can't learn to love me.

So I'm a really boring person?

Yes, they say I take life seriously.

And Indeed, I have less chances to enjoy life. 

It's all my fault

my fault

my fault

........I'm helpless