the beauty of waiting

There is beauty in waiting, and I thank God for all those years that he made me wait.

As human beings, it is but normal to be impatient and frustrated when things don't go as planned.

But what virtue does God want us to develop as we wait? What is the purpose for our life "delays?" Or maybe it's only us who thinks it's a delay. Probably, God knows that at the moment, that is for the best.

Waiting is not just a test of patience, but is meant to develop our character. A person's true character is not revealed when he has the best things in life. In fact, it can be seen when he has nothing, or is striving and working hard to achieve something. What a person does as he wait tells so much of how he/she is.

Do you see nothing but life's imperfections and missing pieces as you wait? Or are you the type who does something meaningful while waiting. Which one would you rather be? Would you be sulking, complaining, or ranting? Or woud you rather be working, exploring, and trusting on life's timing as you wait?

While it is easy to answer that we will try to be productive as we wait, in reality, it's not as easy as it seems though. There will be days when we will be caught in despair of not knowing what our future holds. It feels like you were stuck in the middle of the unknown, and you are clueless of what tomorrow will bring. But then again, it is just a phase. We could choose to wallow over that sadness, or move on. And when you do, there is no way to go but forward, as we strive to live life with purpose and meaning each day.

Living each day doing what you love does not seem like waiting at all. Instead, it's more like trusting and hoping for the best, wherever life leads you. Doing things with zeal and passion, whatever that may be, allows us to seize the moment and to be fully present in life. And before you know it, time had passed, until you barely realize that you are no longer waiting. For at the end, you are rather fulfilled and happy, that all the good things life grants and blesses you with are just a bonus.

May this song by John Waller inspire us to embrace the beauty of waiting. We may not see it right now, but God sees our good works and gives what is due for his humble and faithful servant.

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait...

Your Time. God's Time.

When I was younger, I used to think I can easily plan my life out. I thought that if I put my mind into it, and probably work hard for it, the things I want will easily fall offf my lap. And boy, I was wrong. Very wrong.

There are things that will be given to us because of our hardwork and persistence. But not all. This I have learned, in the years that I sail on this journey, that life is all about the perfect timing.

Timing is everything. As what was said, "many are the plans in the person's heart, but the Lord's plan shall prevail." I will say it again and again, even if it may sound repetitive, that there are things we meticulously plan, but may not happen. In the course of those heartbreaks, rejections, unanswered prayers, and disappointments, it is but normal to be disheartened. We feel that it may never happen or be given to us. But, if we hold on and ponder over, we might come to realise this: "Just because it is not happening does not mean that it's not meant for you. Maybe the answer isn't a "No," but "not yet."

Perhaps, there are things we don't see that we still need to discover and develop. I can still vividly remember how I envision myself at the age of 25. Back then, I thought, I have already married by that age and by the age of 30, I probably have kids, a house, a car, have finished my masters. To be honest, none of them has happened "yet," but I am not frustrated anymore, because as I grow older, I learned to trust the timing of things in my life.

Yes, I will be married soon, at the age of 29, and I may be late from the original timeline I have set for myself. But even if the timeline was not exactly followed, it is not a reason to fret. In fact, I realised, that the events in my life are perfect as it is. I was able to work abroad at the age of  27 and met the love of my life at the same age. If I had met him a little earlier, maybe I will not be where I am right now. And I guess, the delay in my love story is my journey to self-discovery, and I would say, those years of trial and errors are the greatest gift I ever gave myself.

I have had series of failures and disappointments, but instead of sulking over, I wore those wounds with pride. I was able to overcome and reign victorious over those battles and hurdles. Here I am today, standing still, growing grateful each day. I thank the Lord for allowing me to experience heartbreaks, for it made me know what to pray for and look for in a man. I thank God that it took me a while to build my career, for it enabled me to push myself further and go outside my comfort zone. And I will always be indebted to God, for building my character and for increasing my faith all those years. If I am happy and content in love and life right now, it's because I earned this by patiently waiting. If I did things my way back then and be reckless, this may not be the life I have right now. So if you felt you were rejected or clueless as to where your life will tread, learn to trust in the process and in God's timing for your life. If we will only look at life in that lens, we will live more joyfully each day, knowing that every adventure comes with a purpose.

So what to do now? Sail on, travel, learn a skill, meet new people, discover what the world has to offer. Life is too short to waste it by stressing over a timeline. Ditch the timeline, and instead, make good use of your time. Stop comparing yourself with others, that is their time, not yours. Your time will come, too. The Lord is developing something within you, and He is preparing to launch you to greater heights. At the end of the day, be reminded that, "his plans are not meant to harm you, but to make you prosper."

With the Lord by your side, you're in good hands. And one day, when what you have been praying for have been answered, you will look back at those days you have been waiting. By then, you will be at peace and tell yourself, "now I finally understand."

Innersoul

Does God even remember me?

When He blesses others and their prayers were answered

Does He know that I have been praying fervently, too?

Does He know my hurts, trials, frustrations, and pains

Especially when I am tired and can no longer wait

Does He know that I cry in the middle of the night

Or I ran out of joy, too?

And stare at nothingness,

Feeling hopeless and lost?

What exactly are God’s plans for me?

I have done all I can

Been good to the best of my ability

And tried to wait patiently

Will there be an ending to this

Waiting, hoping for, and dreaming?

The answers yet I cannot fully fathom

Though my heart and mind tells me to hold on

For when the Lord’s plan I cannot comprehend

And if in the moment I feel His silence

Then maybe, He is preparing something for me.

And I have to wait

To grow

To be strong

And to trust wholly

That He knows perfectly what He is doing

And I just have to leave the rest, to Him

Steady my Heart (Lyrics)

Whenever I would feel blue or anxious all of a sudden, this is a song I can sing and eventually make me feel better. I know I can run on to God, always, and He will always be in control, no matter what the hurly-burly is. Thanks, Lord, for steadying my heart.

"Steady My Heart"

Wish it could be easy
Why is life so messy?
Why is pain a part of us?
There are days I feel like
Nothing ever goes right
Sometimes it just hurts so much

But You're here
You're real
I know I can trust You

Even when it hurts
Even when it's hard
Even when it all just falls apart
I will run to You
'Cause I know that You are
Lover of my soul
Healer of my scars
You steady my heart [x2]

I'm not gonna worry
I know that You've got me
Right inside the palm of your hand
Each and every moment
What's good and what gets broken
Happens just the way You plan

You are here
You're real
I know I can trust You

Even when it hurts
Even when it's hard
Even when it all just falls apart
I will run to You
'Cause I know that You are
Lover of my soul
Healer of my scars
You steady my heart [x2]

And I will run to You
And find refuge in Your arms
And I will sing to You
'Cause of everything You are

You steady my heart [x2]

Even when it hurts
Even when it's hard
Even when it all just falls apart
I will run to You
'Cause I know that You are
Lover of my soul
Healer of my scars
You steady my heart [x2]

I'm not gonna worry
I know that you've got me
Right inside the palm of your hand

I know I’ll meet you, someday J

In the process of finding you, I broke my heart several times. I realized it was not that easy. I stumbled and got bruised and it hurt me so much. I thought wounds will never heal at all. Actually, the wounds are still bleeding right now. But I choose to simply bear them, because I know enduring it will make me stronger. Perhaps I got heartbroken because those who I met were not just meant for me, yet. As cliché as it may sound, the best is yet to come. I’d like to believe that’s you.

I never know if I already met you. I could have happened to bump into you before. Maybe we have been introduced to each other but the sparks were not yet there. Or maybe I happened to tread on the very same path where you always walk. I’ll never know, until I meet you, in the near future.

Nothing is certain, and when we will meet each other, is still a big mystery. But with all honesty, the mystery of it all excites me. I wonder how you look like. I yearn to know what interests or excites you. I want to know your life story- how your childhood and family was like, who was your first crush, how you were at school. I just want to listen to your stories while I stare at you and we snuggle together. I look forward to all our times together with intense anticipation. However, the time may not be now. Not yet.

I know and acknowledge that I am not perfect. There are still a lot I have to work on. And whilst I’m not meeting you yet, I want to use the time wisely because I know it is an opportunity for me to grow in character and get to know myself better. I’d like to meet you when I am most ready- when I know what I want,  learn to love myself, and work on my weaknesses. Right now, I can’t fully say I’m the right woman for you. I may do something which will hurt you, in one way or another.  Someday, I know I will be the right woman for you, and when that day comes, there’s no backing out. It will be the best love story, which happened in God’s perfect time.

I’m walking in faith and trusting in God’s Providence. When all else goes awry, we will realize that we can always put our hope in God. Things did fall apart because things are being slowly put in place. Life is a constant work in progress, and I believe that even if things go wrong, it goes better, anyway. All we need to have is a heart that fervently believes, keeps the faith with love burning intensely. I pray that we will both be strong to endure our heartaches, and get healed in time. So that one day, when we meet, we know we are more than ready to love, again.

I promise not to give up on meeting or finding you. It may be a long and tedious waiting for all we know. We might feel, sometimes, that the waiting seems to be in vain, that we may be waiting for nothing at all. But my heart tells me to trust. A voice inside me tells me to believe, and hope, and just open my heart for that someone out there. When that day comes, we will not experience that pain caused by  heartaches, for we are definite that we already met the one we’d like to spend our forever with.

I will wait for you, for that day, for our love story. Right now, I will learn, grow, soar high, and simply become the best that I can be. I hope you will do the same, too. I pray that you’re excited to meet you, too. And that one day in our future will be the happiest of all, because we know we both waited, and what we have been praying for so long, is already answered.

Your future girlfriend and wife,

Ellen Marie

Know your worth

Know your worth

Wayne Dyer once said that self-worth comes from one thing - thinking that you are worthy. Our worth as a person is more than what we know; however, we sometimes keep searching for what we already possess inside us.  The kingdom of God is within us and He is always willing to increase the resources in our life. But our success is also dependent on understanding and believing that “we are worth it”.

It is a common question that we ask why we lack blessings in life. Once we determine our self worth, then comes our knowledge of our net worth. Money problems can actually be solved by working on our minds or the way we think of ourselves. In reality, the problem is not the provider, but the receiver. God’s capacity to give is bigger than our capacity to receive. Hence, what we just have to do is increase our psychological wallet and believe that God wants to bless us abundantly.

Failures will haunt us and make us doubt, but this should not define what we are as a person. The secret to achieving is attributes multiplied by our attitude, so when we change the way we see ourselves, success follows soon. When we have good habits such as knowing our value and believing our abilities, subsequently good fruits are there for the reaping.

A better self-worth is achievable. First, one has to establish a self-ideal, or how you want to see yourself. Second, is to know how you see yourself now, or your self-image. And when the self-ideal and self-image is working, then you’ll have a good self-esteem, or the confidence and satisfaction in oneself.

Our life is like a mirror, it reflects the way we see and think of ourselves. The image that you see in that mirror is dependent on what you believe and what you want to see. Why not try to change the way you look at yourself now? Change your thoughts and you can change your world. And with a fervent heart, just proclaim: “I’m God’s Beloved, I’m God’s Servant, I’m God’s powerful champion, and because I am blessed, I will bless the world.” J

Thank you for the 24 years :)

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood. - Helen Keller

Words cannot express how much thankful I am to God for giving me 24 years of my life. It has been a roller-coaster of a ride- sometimes I am up, sometimes down. Nevertheless, it has truly been a remarkable experience. For every teardrop that fell in my eyes, I know there is a lesson to learn and for every smile and laughter, I know there are moments to remember. Even though my life at the age of 24 is still far from perfection, and maybe will never be, I am on the point of being contented and starting to be grateful for all the blessings showered upon me. Indeed, despite all what I've been through, I believe I am overly blessed to be stressed.

I will not become the person that I am today if not for the painful sharpenings that happened in my past. There will be times that I shed tears for lingering questions which I cannot answer, but I always tell myself that what does not kill me, makes me stronger. Because I stumbled once, I learned how to dust off the dirt on my knee, heal the wounds, get up, and move on. If life does not give me what I want, I learned to shrug it off, and just keep calm and relax. If life gives you lemons, then make lemonades. Moments of sadness and pain is an opportune time for me to reflect and contemplate on my current state in life. It makes me realize that I have people who I can depend on, and I am given the skill to channel my melancholy on other productive things. I cannot and should not wallow on loneliness, forever. I am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul, I steer the ship to the direction that I want. I chose to let go of bitterness and accept myself for who I am and even for what I am not. I am not perfect, but I am learning to love myself more each day. The hardships I have been through served to make me stronger just as a gem cannot be polished without friction, nor can a life be perfected without trials. Experience and trials are what make me the person I am now. I will never learn to appreciate the glorious and bountiful days of my life, if not for those dreary and weary seasons where I almost gave up life and lose hope in the process. Much is still to be learned, to go through, to discover, but as I grow older and shall I say wiser... I am less afraid. So even with my life's up and downs, it's alright. I still believe, life is beautiful, even when dark clouds are on their way. The sun will dawn on me one day, that is always certain. :)

It's true that as you age you learn to accept things with maturity and grace. There are people and things which I may never have at all, but perhaps, there's a better reason (even if that I still cannot fathom). Things happen and do not materialize at times for the greater good. Maybe not now, or not ever, but who knows? I learned to tone down a bit, relax and calm my nerves, give myself the peace and sleep I rightfully deserve, and laugh at my silliness and foolishness rather than making a big deal out of it. Life is too short for me to dwell on what's not, or the what ifs. What matters to me now is the present, that I will do my best and give it my all and whatever will become of my future, is something which I do not make myself anxious about. Even if disappointments and frustrations came my way, and with people hurting or failing me, I get by and stand tall. What good will it give me if I sulk inside a cold dark room and shed bitter tears? Nothing. I chose to go out, feel the warmth of the sun, enjoy the company and love of the people around me, and experience new things because that is what makes me living. There will always be someone way better, successful, attractive or prettier than me. But I want the people around me to remember not for my intelligence nor my charm, but for the way I influence or inspire them and with the memories worth reminiscing that we once shared. 


For the first time in so many years that had gone by, I'd like to exclaim that I am happy...inside and out. There is nothing that can stop me for achieving my goals, dreams, and aspirations in life. The joy that comes within is overwhelming and I am proud to say that after so long, I realized that I should not depend on others for my happiness. I want to excel and help others, and doing so makes me happy and at peace with myself. I still want to write more, travel to places I have never been, meet more people who shares the same dreams and aspirations as I do. I still want to be a mother and wife in God's perfect time. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. And though I am not invincible and I have an expiration date too  (that ony God knows when), I am ready to be unstoppable and conquer the world in my own and good way. :)

To my beloved family, thanks for the countless support and for accepting me regardless of my flaws, whims, and capriciousness. We are not the ideal family, but I will not exchange what I have for other families in the world. Thank you for teaching me greatest life's lessons such as perseverance, fortitude, faith in God, independence, and optimism. Much I owe to you because I was able to face life knowing I am well-equipped with the needed gears. You will always be special in my heart, and I want to achieve more because I want to give back everything. Sorry for my shortcomings and for my bad hair days, still and all, thank you for staying with me for 24 beautiful years.

To my friends, colleagues, church mates, students, and love of my life: thank you for all the inspiration and the beautiful memories. I look forward each day of my life because I am blessed with wonderful people who enables me to learn lessons which will help me mature and have a positive outlook in life. Thank you for all the words of wisdom, compliments, sincere and honest criticism, sound advice, buckets of laughter we shared over jokes and some silly conversations. I may not be a millionaire in cash, but I am a billionaire in relationships with good people and memories worth reminiscing. I thrive and survive because I have people who make me believe in my skills, talents, and abilities. And as Stevie Wonder says, I will sing to myself "what a wonderful world..."

And for those who hurt me in one way or another, thank you for the tears in my cheek and for the wounds in my heart which mold me to a better and stronger person. It was a painful process, but I will not be toughened if I do not meet people who made me doubt myself, broke my heart, and left me. I survived, and now am flying and sailing with flying colors. For making me the brave girl I am, thank you!

From the bottom of my heart, thank you God for the 24  wonderful years. The joy and contentment that I feel radiates from the hope coming from you. Thank you for loving me as I am- despite my many failures as your child. Thank you for mending my broken heart, for helping me pick up the pieces, for making me see how beautiful and promising life is, and for giving me people who are willing to love me no matter what happens. You always save me when I am bottom pit and when everything seems bleak and hopeless. Life is undeniably amazing, because of You are a generously gracious God. What would become of me without You? That I really wonder. Finally, I learned to love myself. I never really know that happiness is something that you give to yourself, since I drew myself closer to you. I may stumble and fall again and may have wounds more difficult to heal in the future, but with You giving me strength, I can face and defy all the odds and storms in my life. Thank you for the gift of life. Thank you for the gift of inner happiness. Thank you for letting me know You better each day. That in all things, I yearn to glorify you, Lord. I love you and I always will.

I have the best 24 years of my life. I am just so blessed to have one. Thank you for joining me in this journey. :) I shall still see all of you.

Happy 24th birthday Ellen Marie. :) Keep calm, Pray, and enjoy life!

have a lift of faith

Was there ever a time in your life when you felt impatient because things are not happening the way you want them to? Do you feel frustrated because your prayers seem unheard and your dreams are not coming true? When doubt seems to kick on, it is always good to know that there is one thing that can fuel the heart, mind, body and soul - faith.

Hebrews 1: 11 tells us that "faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see". Faith enables us to dance today and response to the kindness we received. And while faith gives us the strength to endure life's pain, hope provides the ability to hear the music of the future. As Emmanuel Teney puts it "As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your delight and benefit. Hence, let us keep the faith today, and remain hopeful for our future. 

Whenever we feel like losing battles, we can always remind ourselves of how Jesus can create miracles, even in the bleakest of all situations. The only weapon that we need is faith, like that of the woman who touched Jesus and believed she will be healed. In the same manner, Jesus raised a dead girl, brought her to life, and said that she is "not dead but asleep." These stories reveal that 1) it is not enough to touch Jesus, you have to touch Jesus with faith and 2) sometimes what we call dead is just dormant to God. It all takes the courage to take a risk of faith, and God will surprise us beyond wonders.

Indeed, God will not give anything that you can't handle. Likewise, it is best to maintain a positive mindset because faith can do three things. First, Faith will make you talk to yourself. It allows us to declare things and utter positive words, whatever is in the heart. Second, Faith always points to Jesus, the author and finisher of all. Jesus is the focal point of Faith. Likewise, Faith is not Faith until it's all you are holding to. Third, Faith will always cause you to make some room.  If our dreams are not yet coming true, it does not mean we have to stop dreaming. As the story of the dead girl shows, what may be "dead" to us is just "dormant" to God. Therefore, we should give it some room to understand, to hope, and just respond by faith. Before giving it an expiration date, give it a chance. Take a risk and soon, God will grant your deepest desires.

Do you want to create miracles out of your life and receive surprises that will sweep off your feet? Have a lift of faith that your order in this restaurant called "life" will come soon, because we have the best chef and creator of all things- God. :)

dare to achieve

Another write up for the Makati Feast. Am using my core gifts for God's glory! Ameeennnn!

Dare to Achieve

                How badly do you want your dream? How far will you go to make your dreams turn into a reality? Everyone is given the ability to dream and to fulfill our heart’s deepest desires.   We have the mind to imagine, the heart to believe and keep the faith, and our hands and feet to move and go for what we dream of.  So if your dream still remains as an image in your head, maybe now is the right time to stand up, reach out, and act on it.

                Do you really want to achieve? You can, if you hold on to your faith- the assurance of the things hoped for and the conviction of things not seen. However, faith isn’t just a purchase order. Most importantly, it is a job order. Thus, faith without works is dead. And to best express our faith, there should be an accompanying action to it. We need the desperation which enables us to gather our energy and do something.

                Furthermore, there are two levels of experiencing miracles. First, is when God gives you miracles. Sometimes, when you least expect it, God will give his “manna from heaven.” Second, and even better than that, is when God gives you the power to produce miracles, because God is someone who believes in your abilities to. We can all choose to be the miracle waiter, who simply sits still and waits until something happen, or be the miracle worker, who uses his God-given gifts to make his dreams come true. Likewise, we can either be contented with the adequate miracles given to us, which is “just enough.” Or we can experience abundant miracles- overflowing and more than expected, if we strive to be a miracle worker.

                But how can we the miracle worker that God wants us to be? God only wants two things. We need to have the audacity to ask, for God has the ability to perform. Do not be hesitant to proclaim your dreams to God, because He is our father who wants to know what His child specifically dreams of. Also, we have to act, for God gives us the ability, something in which we can participate in. Greater works will come when you believe and even more, we can produce miracles by faithful action.

                So will you sit down and simply wait? Have the courage and fulfill your dreams. Ask and act, for all you know, God is just waiting for you to do so. And whilst on the process of asking and acting, keep the faith in your heart aflame. Never give up on your dreams and in your faith in God, hold on tight and never let go. Believe that with you and God together as a team, both of you can achieve. J

                

new directions

After all that I've been through lately (the hurly-burly and ups and downs of emotions), I finally mulled-over that I cannot be the cry baby that I was and still am. It's freaking hard to change overnight, but I have that irking feeling that I want to transform myself. It is really difficult to let go of the things you are used to, just as it is difficult to let go and forget that person you loved so dearly. But then again, at the end of the day, I may end whining and tearing and sulking, but my happiness is still up to me.

Complaining will bring me nowhere, just as worrying is like a rocking chair that keeps moving but stays at the same place. If I cannot change the way things are, then might as well I change my mindset about them. The pressure of finding my one true love bugs me. I tried to grab the opportunity when there was one, but ended up in vain. Believe it or not though, I am not regretful nor bitter. Why do I have to keep crying about something which is over? Even if he did not really give me the closure I deserve, it is a challenge for me to move forward on my own. Indeed, you will always have yourself to depend on, and to rely on others will fail us, more often than not.

I am not afraid to fall inlove again. If it will happen (which I know will happen, sooon :) ), then it will and I will gladly accept it with arms wide open under the sunlight. I have no fears, doubts, and hesitations. I am not rushing things. It's just that, this time, I know that my love tank is overflowing with love that I would share it without hesitations to that someone. As Toni G. puts it, "one day, that man will come into your life and will make you forget that your heart was ever broken." So I am not setting my dream of finding my one true love aside. It is too early to give up. Much has happened but that does not entail letting go of such a noble and wondrous dream. Besides, things do not happen only twice, but mistakes are repeated unless they are learned. If I failed again and again, then I will dust off my knee and stand again and again. What's wrong with that huh? Nothing. I am sometimes weak, frail, losing judgment, but that does not make me less of a person. i am human after all. I do not brag that I am invincible. This warrior will always be a child longing for her dear parent's love and affection. But despite all the struggles, I have proven that I become strong when I am at my weakest point.

So what's there to be afraid of, honestly? Nothing. Worrying still about tomorrrow? Maybe, yes, but that will not ultimately cloud my vision. A bright future is ahead of me, and it's glaring my eyes because I feel there's so much, I just have to seize every opportunity that comes my way. And for all the hurdles, the pain, tears, and heartbreaking moments I have been through lately, I have nothing but gratitude because the Lord entrusted me with all those. He believes in my resilience and in my ability to breakthrough. Thus, is there still a need to fear. Definitely, No. No matter how hard it may sound, I'll do everything in my power not to fret about the future. Let tomorrow take care of itself. What matters is the present, that you have the willingness to do everything that you can today so that you will have no regrets in the future.

God is always good to me, today, tomorrow, and until the end of time. If there is something that I will hold on to tightly, that is my faith in HIM. It will remain unceasing and unwavering, and I know by keeping the faith aflame, that day will come when God will answer all my prayers, and He will grant my heart's desires, even better than what I have asked for.

And I believe that whatever it is that you asked for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. I claim it in Jesus' mighty name. Amen :))

blessings

In times like this (a difficult time, that is), I thank God for giving me a wonderful, good, caring, and supportive friend who is always there by my side. Right now, I am expecting nothing more. My dreams are not meant to come alive though, but just the fact that we are more than okay and I have someone to help me handle my emotions is a big pat on my back.

For the many good things he has done for me all throughout, I cannot help but feel indebted to him. I know he is not good in verbalizing his emotions, but somehow, the mere fact that he listens make me feel that I am special and important. That's enough for me. Someday, and that's soon, I'll find my one true love too. And I know when that day comes, my best friend will be there to cheer me up and rejoice with me.

God gives trials to those He think can manage them well. And maybe these trying moments are his way of telling me that He trusts me. So who am I to question his will, when He has been entrusting me with something big? The world is not full of bad things though, and the more I am experiencing adversities, the more I am able to celebrate and appreciate life's wonders. Now aren't those blessings enough.

I will carry on, as always. I have a good best friend, and a number of dependable friends, a good job, a promising career, a heart that cares, a passionate spirit. So what more can I ask for?

Lead me Lord. And thank you for sending me an angel. And more angels.

Thank you Alvin! You are the greatest friend one could ever have! :)

THE ONE AND ONLY "YOU"

            No one is born exactly the same as another person, not even twins. We are unique, with no duplicate, just as how each one’s finger print wholly identifies a single person. As the Bible even puts it “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”

            But despite knowing how God perfectly handcrafted each one with traits that would make us stand out, why is it always hard for us to accept who we are? Why could we just not accept that each person is endowed with both strengths which we can make use of and weaknesses that we can work on? Or better yet, why is it so easy to look at our faults and dwell on them rather than consistently affirm our strengths? Why is there a never-ending comparison: “I wish I was like her,” or “Why am I not given this and that,” or worse, ”Why am I born this way?”

            It is human nature to compare and look for things that they do not possess. But with a closer introspection, we will realize that the way we are created is a manifestation of how wonderful God’s work is.  Simply put, an inventor would not create something which is totally futile or worthless. The first thing he has in mind is how it will be beneficial for everyone, and he makes sure that each part is functional. God works in the same way, as he created all of us with a purpose, that even both our strengths and weaknesses are one.

            For instance, a melancholic person’s strengths are being deep and reflective, but sometimes this can border into shyness and being reserved. Nonetheless, this seeming stillness (as quiet as it may sound) enables a melancholic person to express himself through writing or to different forms of art. The apparently inability to express through words was then an avenue to create a work of art- may it be a story, a poem, a sculpture, or a painting. And that talent when used to the fullest is a perfect stepping stone to be known to the world. Marvelous, isn’t it?

           

            Therefore, the key to affirming one’s self is to 1) use your uniqueness and 2) work on your weaknesses. If we come to God and allow him to transform us, then we will start thinking less of ourselves. Besides, to God, our weakness is not a great big deal, just as how mothers love their children despite all their failures and shortcomings. We have a God who knows us well, that even the hairs in our head are numbered by Him. So the next time you are in doubt as to the extent of his love for you, be mindful of this song:

                I would not leave you in times of trouble

                We never could have come this far

                I took the good times, I take the bad times

                I’ll take you just the way you are.

            Claim that you are unique, and in God’s eyes, it’s your uniqueness (both the good and the bad) that makes you beautiful. 

Generously Gracious God

                With the many problems that beset our lives, we usually wonder, “when will the odds be ever be in our favor?”  More often than not, we think the entire mountain is our hurdle when in fact it is just the small rocks that make us stumble along the way. We end up sulking, frustrating, worrying, and even doubting and questioning if God is still on our side.  We think of ourselves as losers.  Truth of the matter is, despite the adversities we are having, the grace of God, as always, abounds.

                Our trials sometimes hinder us to see the grace that God provides. Even waking up each morning is looked upon as a curse rather than a blessing because we are clouded by our weaknesses and our distrustful hearts. But the good news is always there, and that is: God’s grace is sufficient for all of us and that He always loves to take over our weaknesses. When we are weakest, the power of God is strongest and that is also the time when we learn to trust God wholeheartedly, as we likewise learn to humble ourselves.

                Humans are not invincible, nor are we immortals. And by acknowledging our limitations, all the more we will start experiencing grace upon admitting that there are always things in life beyond our control. By then, it will suddenly dawn on us how God’s grace certainly abounds, and with the ability to look at life with light despite the bleakness is already His  way of showing us that He is taking over our lives. So what should we do then? With a Generously Gracious God, we can just let it all happen and relax in His unfailing love.

                Slowly but surely, the moment we start to realize how God’s grace has been lifting us up, we learn to believe that everything is a blessing and everything happens for a reason.  That reason we may not understand now, but someday soon, we will.  Grace is the very heart of God and that is more than enough for us to run the race.  

                Thus,  when you feel that you are failing: let Christ take over, believe that you are always blessed, and you will see that you are always a winner because you have a God who is higher than any other.

                 

               

single but doubly blessed :)

                Most of the time, I feel I am a wallflower –left unplucked, unappreciated, unnoticed, that even if I disappear, nobody would dare look for me. This is likewise tantamount to being lonely and feeling unloved and worthless – and everyday is a torture specially when you realize the difference of living in a couples’ world, and here you are, single since birth.

                Sure enough, being single in a world surrounded by lovers is both agonizing and terrorizing. Whenever I see couples hold hands, talk softly, and lovingly cuddle each other, jealousy, envy, and self-pity are clothing me. Seeing  all those made me question myself and my worth as a young lady and it also made me feel that I am left behind. I am a certified No Boyfriend Since Birth. Such a shame? Well, it kills. Because of that, I hate Valentine’s day, and even dread celebrating Christmas, as I can feel the coldness of the air.

                I will be a hypocrite if I don’t admit that I would have times that I wake up and wish that I better be dead for I can’t take the loneliness anymore. I’ve been single  and looking for so long and at 22 years old, the pressure of searching for that one is on.  In fact, I am tired of people questioning my singlehood, because in reality, I really do not know why the heck no one seems to love, appreciate, and take me seriously. Am I not attractive enough? Am I not a girlfriend material? For so long, I wallowed myself in tears and my view of the world is so obscure and I feel I am cursed. Good enough, I realized that those were not reasons enough to fret, forever. Hence, I am slowly having a change of heart.

                The transition from being a negatron to being an optimist prime was not a facile pursuit for me. It is indeed a painstaking undertaking, like a bitter pill I have to swallow so I will eventually heal. Slowly, I am trying my very best to change my perspective for I cannot change what’s happening in life, but I can change how I perceive things. Singlehood is not a curse, rather it is a gift to be celebrated because it is the time when one can discover him/herself the best and explore what the world can offer.

                As a young, beautiful, charming, smart, and lovable lady (I claim it), God has granted me a lot of good opportunities in life to know myself better, unleash my potentialities so I can shine in my own and unique way. Indeed, being single is the opportune time for a person to discover oneself and improve on their strengths and work on their weaknesses. Likewise, it is during singlehood when you can be a vagabond and wander around the world so that you can appreciate the beauty of life. Moreover, it is the time when you can gain more friends and enjoy their company and accompanying bliss. Furthermore, it is when you can be with your family, feel their love, caring, and support the most. By being single, you have all the time to work for self-improvement and invest for a better future while being open to the idea of getting to know more people and staying connected, and by spreading yourself and enjoying, you may eventually find your “one true love”.

                The bouts of loneliness may come from time to time, but that is a test of a single person’s character. Whether you are single, in a relationship, or married, we will all experience the feeling of being alone at times, and by being able to topple that feeling when you are single as you are able to see rainbows despite the gloomy skies  signify that you have fortitude to withstand all the hurdles that may come with being in a relationship or being married. Contrary to popular belief, being committed is not a bed of roses. In a relationship, you will have to deal with a person entirely different from you and that entails patience and courage. If a person is not sure of him/herself as a single, then being in a relationship will not guarantee happiness either.

                Therefore, I have learned that as a single lady, I have to learn how to find simple joys in life so I can radiate that positive spirit, make it contagious, so that I can share it with others. If I will just sulk and keep tearing up, then how else can I be happy even if I enter into a relationship? That then would mean that whenever I am confronted with challenges, I will easily give up and whine. This is the perfect time so that I can make myself a precious and priced gem so at the end, I will be sought after and will be coveted. Now is the time to feel complete and certain of my abilities, and not to wait for that someone to complete me and affirm my strengths.

                I have all the time in the world to learn, to sail, to fly, to travel, to have fun, to relax, and to enjoy, and I will make good use of this time for I know a day will come when I cannot do this on my own anymore. Someday soon, I know I will meet my one true love, so I am constantly seeking to be the best and striving to meet more people. Honestly, I feel so blessed because not everyone is given the opportunity to discover herself fully and keep connected to God. As I learn new things about myself every day, I get closer to God as well, and eventually I have learned to be grateful for even the simplest things. True enough, He is making the way for me and perhaps by now He is wrapping the best gift He could ever give me – the right person at the right time. I just have to believe, remain optimistic, and keep the faith – and with all those, I know I will never fail.

                So if there are moments of doubt and when  the feeling of emptiness hovers, I know it won’t last long because God is backing me up. I may be single, but I am blessed, in fact, overwhelmingly, it’s just a matter of appreciating things.  And if I ever get impatient and envious, time and again, I will whisper a prayer and tell myself, be still and know that God is there. Besides, God knows my heart’s desires and with faith, effort, and prayer, I know, one day, I will meet my one true love. By then, I may be thanking God that He somehow delayed my love story compared to others so that I can be the best that I can be – strong, happy, confident, courageous, and prayerful. With God by my side, it is guaranteed, I am on the right track, all the time.

                I so believe. Amen.