Dear God,
I know I just celebrated my 26th birthday and I'm supposed to be happy. I have just spent my birthday by going out of the country with good friends. I also had a hearty lunch with my family. But still, it saddens me that there's still that pothole in my heart which I do not know how to fill. These days though, I am overcame by loneliness and anxiety, that I do not want to socialize with a lot of people. I'd rather that I be on my own and sort out things all by myself.
Maybe it's because I trust easily and love too much, that I end up hurting myself in the process. I reached out, but sometimes I am never noticed nor heard. I give chances to people who maybe do not even deserve the chance at all.
At this point, maybe it is best to guard my heart at all costs. I bruise easily, and the wound it inflicts cut deep, so for my own protection I have to love and spare myself from pain. It sounds very pessimistic but that's the only way I can protect myself. I want to always look at the bright side and remember that I am loved, no matter what. At the end of the day, though I may feel that I am neglected and unnoticed and unappreciated by some, I'd like to believe there are still people out there who sees the beauty in me.
Someday Lord, I hope I will understand why people came and went away from my life. I know you took them away for a reason. It hurts to trust and to give chance to people, only to leave you hanging at the end.
Yes, Lord. I gave a chance. I just trusted. But if all else fails, I know it's always for the better. Someday, I will understand.
Showing posts with label ache. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ache. Show all posts
Monday, January 25, 2016
Sunday, July 28, 2013
talk to him and find out what he feels
DEAR CHICO, DELAMAR, AND GINO... My colleague, Lara and her best friend started going out after Lara professed her feelings for him. I actually prodded her to do so, since I think something’s going on between them. After the “confrontation,” Lara and I thought all is well as the guy said they will take it one step at a time. We were happy and contented about the results by then.
Just when I thought that everything was smooth sailing between them, Lara said she started to have doubts when the guy acts “sweet” when they are together, but different when their friends are around. To assess things, she had a moment of silence to just test if the guy will try to communicate and reach out. The guy didn’t. Nevertheless, she still communicates with him from time to time.
I know my friend is still holding on, and I told her that if a guy loves her, he will move mountains for her. But we can never tell if he’ll ever be ready for her. What should I say to my friend? Do you think she should confront him, given their “confusing” status? Or should she take his silence as a sign that he’s not just into her, and maybe move on? I know it’s difficult for her, the guy being her best buddy, but I don’t want her to further hurt herself either. - MAE
CHICO SAYS… Yes, I agree that a guy who likes a girl will move mountains, among other things, just to “own” a girl that he fancies to make sure he marks her as his and sends other suitors a warning to stay away. So when a guy is non-committal about where a girl stands in his life, it is rather odd. Sorry for the generalization, but it’s the girls who are usually more purposely vague about how they feel. Men like you or they don’t. That said, I’m not saying that he doesn’t like your friend. But one thing is clear, there is a reason why he’s acting this way. It could be that he’s not really into her, but it could be one of many reasons as well. I suggest your friend gets to the bottom of things. She needs to know why he wouldn’t be as demonstrative with her when his friends are around. Sometimes it’s just a matter of Pink’s song “Just Another Reason,” where to the guy everything’s fine, but to the girl, their relationship just disintegrated into irretrievable decay. They’re pretty new into the relationship, so it’s quite normal for there to be lapses in communication. They don’t speak the same language yet, so it’s very easy to misinterpret each other’s words and actions. It’s very crucial that they actually say the words, as opposed to merely reading each other. They need to talk. It is step one to finding out if they just need a little fixing, or if it’s finally kaput.
DELAMAR SAYS... It sounds like the guy is trying to be ‘polite.’ It’s as if he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings and so after she professed her feelings he just went with the flow and let things happen as she wanted it. In a relationship, though, you want to be wanted by the person you want. You don’t want someone who will only want you as long as you want him. You want someone you know is present at the other end of the relationship, loving you as much as you love him.
This test of silence she gave him leaves too many questions. Go direct and ask him if he wants to be in a relationship with her or did he feel forced into it? Tell her to ask him point blank. And should the answer be NO, be mature enough to accept it without retaliation. After all, we all have to go into a relationship willingly. Of course, it’ll hurt but at least she’ll find out if the guy is really hers or not. If he isn’t, have a good cry about it. Mope as long as she needs. And then? Well, move on, hopefully to someone who will want and love her as much as she wants and loves him.
GINO SAYS... As with any other relationship what I always suggest is communication. I think that no harm can come from talking to the other person about it. You can speculate about it all you want but whatever it may be, the only way to really find out is to talk about it.
Think about it this way, if you talk about it now your friend might still be able to fix it. If they don’t see eye to eye, then they can part ways earlier and avoid the situation getting deeper and more painful.
Just when I thought that everything was smooth sailing between them, Lara said she started to have doubts when the guy acts “sweet” when they are together, but different when their friends are around. To assess things, she had a moment of silence to just test if the guy will try to communicate and reach out. The guy didn’t. Nevertheless, she still communicates with him from time to time.
I know my friend is still holding on, and I told her that if a guy loves her, he will move mountains for her. But we can never tell if he’ll ever be ready for her. What should I say to my friend? Do you think she should confront him, given their “confusing” status? Or should she take his silence as a sign that he’s not just into her, and maybe move on? I know it’s difficult for her, the guy being her best buddy, but I don’t want her to further hurt herself either. - MAE
CHICO SAYS… Yes, I agree that a guy who likes a girl will move mountains, among other things, just to “own” a girl that he fancies to make sure he marks her as his and sends other suitors a warning to stay away. So when a guy is non-committal about where a girl stands in his life, it is rather odd. Sorry for the generalization, but it’s the girls who are usually more purposely vague about how they feel. Men like you or they don’t. That said, I’m not saying that he doesn’t like your friend. But one thing is clear, there is a reason why he’s acting this way. It could be that he’s not really into her, but it could be one of many reasons as well. I suggest your friend gets to the bottom of things. She needs to know why he wouldn’t be as demonstrative with her when his friends are around. Sometimes it’s just a matter of Pink’s song “Just Another Reason,” where to the guy everything’s fine, but to the girl, their relationship just disintegrated into irretrievable decay. They’re pretty new into the relationship, so it’s quite normal for there to be lapses in communication. They don’t speak the same language yet, so it’s very easy to misinterpret each other’s words and actions. It’s very crucial that they actually say the words, as opposed to merely reading each other. They need to talk. It is step one to finding out if they just need a little fixing, or if it’s finally kaput.
DELAMAR SAYS... It sounds like the guy is trying to be ‘polite.’ It’s as if he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings and so after she professed her feelings he just went with the flow and let things happen as she wanted it. In a relationship, though, you want to be wanted by the person you want. You don’t want someone who will only want you as long as you want him. You want someone you know is present at the other end of the relationship, loving you as much as you love him.
This test of silence she gave him leaves too many questions. Go direct and ask him if he wants to be in a relationship with her or did he feel forced into it? Tell her to ask him point blank. And should the answer be NO, be mature enough to accept it without retaliation. After all, we all have to go into a relationship willingly. Of course, it’ll hurt but at least she’ll find out if the guy is really hers or not. If he isn’t, have a good cry about it. Mope as long as she needs. And then? Well, move on, hopefully to someone who will want and love her as much as she wants and loves him.
GINO SAYS... As with any other relationship what I always suggest is communication. I think that no harm can come from talking to the other person about it. You can speculate about it all you want but whatever it may be, the only way to really find out is to talk about it.
Think about it this way, if you talk about it now your friend might still be able to fix it. If they don’t see eye to eye, then they can part ways earlier and avoid the situation getting deeper and more painful.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
introspections
And some people will come and go into your life, and sometimes when you least expect it, they will.
It's a sad fact of life that not everyone who comes will stay forever. Life, as always, is full off changes, very transitory, ephemeral, and fleeting. Sometimes, we will be left aghast as to how we will get along with others well, be acquaintances, buddies, friends (and even more). Yet, the next thing we know is they started to disappear, pooof vanish out of our lives, forever. Countless people touched our lives, in one way or another, but a number of them will just pass by, like the air that gently touches one's cheeks, for a minute or a swift second.
At times it will also be useless to look for things that you want to last. Like friendships, relationships, and love. If it will come when you least expect it, do you still have to go the distance to search in vain, at the end of the day. After trying to play all your cards, and eventually lose at the end, is it still worth it? It pains to lose, but maybe, it is still worth it, maybe if we look at our failures as a learning experience.
Bucket of tears will be shed. But we can't help but love and depend on others too, most of the time. Though they say it is better not to attach oneself to anybody, it may sound too pessimistic a view, as no man is an island. We are by nature a gregarious and social being- born to mingle, interact, and communicate. We have a heart made to feel, care, and love. And even if that love may be a friendly, brotherly, or romantic one, we still feel it and give it wholeheartedly, despite the fact that sometimes, it's unrequited, or the person to whom you give it to is not even worth it.
Still despite all the pains it may still be worth the wait. Maybe it will still be worth the tears. Who knows? The searching will still be worth it And when you still feel the pain, it may not be over yet. Life is a long long journey that we all travel. It's indeed a long... long journey...and eventually we may find our way back home, to whoever or whatever it is that we are all looking for.
Feel the pain until it hurts no more.
Go on. Sail and discover. Who knows what you may have found?
And when sometimes it's not worth it anymore,
we can always rest for a while, but don't give up on the dreams we are fighting for.
Monday, January 28, 2013
#bad hair day
I get so tired of people suddenly throwing their bouts of irritation and losing their temper on me, for reasons unknown. I know I may have faults, I can be naughty at times, but that does not give them the liberty to be grouchy on me.
They say that you can't be nice or people will use and abuse you, I guess that's true. The moment I become the goody-goody too shoes and nice girl next door, apparently, it does not go to my advantage. In fact, I can even be lambasted because of it. Sometimes, being a mean girl also pays off. It allows people to keep some sort of a distance because you know how to fight for yourself.
When you're nice, warm, kind-hearted, and accommodating, people feel as if you would always "understand." Mabait naman yan eh, okay lang yan. They wouldn't even bother thinking if you get annoyed, hurt, or offended, in any way. They feel that your patience is exuding and overflowing, when in fact you are not a saint, and you have your limits too.
I'm tired of the shitty treatment of the people around me. Apparently, even if you treat them with kindness, they can still afford to distance themselves from you. I didn't do anything wrong, so why should I be the one to ask myself, "what have I done?" I guess this is a challenge for me to be more assertive and to learn to fight back. It all takes courage, but that's way too hard. But if I want to stop this seemingly unfair treatment towards me, I should not always stoop low and say "it's okay" when the hell it is not. I should tell the person straight to his/her face that "I didn't like what you do," or "your immaturity is not my responsibility," much more "I don't deserve to be treated that way."
Even heroes have the right to bleed. And I am not a deity or a superhero. It all gets tiring too, at the end of the day. I hate to displease and hurt others. But how come I feel all these?
The world can sometimes be unfair. But all I know is, you teach people how to treat you. The moment I learn to stand for myself, I guess all these will be put to a halt.
They say that you can't be nice or people will use and abuse you, I guess that's true. The moment I become the goody-goody too shoes and nice girl next door, apparently, it does not go to my advantage. In fact, I can even be lambasted because of it. Sometimes, being a mean girl also pays off. It allows people to keep some sort of a distance because you know how to fight for yourself.
When you're nice, warm, kind-hearted, and accommodating, people feel as if you would always "understand." Mabait naman yan eh, okay lang yan. They wouldn't even bother thinking if you get annoyed, hurt, or offended, in any way. They feel that your patience is exuding and overflowing, when in fact you are not a saint, and you have your limits too.
I'm tired of the shitty treatment of the people around me. Apparently, even if you treat them with kindness, they can still afford to distance themselves from you. I didn't do anything wrong, so why should I be the one to ask myself, "what have I done?" I guess this is a challenge for me to be more assertive and to learn to fight back. It all takes courage, but that's way too hard. But if I want to stop this seemingly unfair treatment towards me, I should not always stoop low and say "it's okay" when the hell it is not. I should tell the person straight to his/her face that "I didn't like what you do," or "your immaturity is not my responsibility," much more "I don't deserve to be treated that way."
Even heroes have the right to bleed. And I am not a deity or a superhero. It all gets tiring too, at the end of the day. I hate to displease and hurt others. But how come I feel all these?
The world can sometimes be unfair. But all I know is, you teach people how to treat you. The moment I learn to stand for myself, I guess all these will be put to a halt.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
silent and distant
Okay. So I know it's a damn bullshit, idiotic, and stupid thing to do, but the heck, out of nowhere you bumped into my consciousness even if that was against all my desires and of rational thinking.
I know you're doing good even on your own. And as for me, I think I'm way better without you, too. I'm better, stronger, tougher, wiser, and prettier than ever. Again as stupid as it may sound, I owe it to you, to the pain I went through when I decided to love you.
Wherever you are right now, I just hope you are doing well. I wish for happiness for you. Seriously. Promise.
Today is your special day. And I tried my best not to greet you anymore, even if I wanted to. Doing so may be like opening a pandora's box, and I don't want to open a box full of curses, nightmares, and plagues. Greeting you may just give way to more agony and I don't want to remind us both of the pain you gave me.
I chose to remain silent and distant. It's the best for the two of us.
Happy birthday Cris.
12.23.2012
I know you're doing good even on your own. And as for me, I think I'm way better without you, too. I'm better, stronger, tougher, wiser, and prettier than ever. Again as stupid as it may sound, I owe it to you, to the pain I went through when I decided to love you.
Wherever you are right now, I just hope you are doing well. I wish for happiness for you. Seriously. Promise.
Today is your special day. And I tried my best not to greet you anymore, even if I wanted to. Doing so may be like opening a pandora's box, and I don't want to open a box full of curses, nightmares, and plagues. Greeting you may just give way to more agony and I don't want to remind us both of the pain you gave me.
I chose to remain silent and distant. It's the best for the two of us.
Happy birthday Cris.
12.23.2012
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