Dear God

Dear God,

I know I just celebrated my 26th birthday and I'm supposed to be happy. I have just spent my birthday by going out of the country with good friends. I also had a hearty lunch with my family. But still, it saddens me that there's still that pothole in my heart which I do not know how to fill. These days though, I am overcame by loneliness and anxiety, that I do not want to socialize with a lot of people. I'd rather that I be on my own and sort out things all by myself.

Maybe it's because I trust easily and love too much, that I end up hurting myself in the process. I reached out, but sometimes I am never noticed nor heard. I give chances to people who maybe do not even deserve the chance at all.

At this point, maybe it is best to guard my heart at all costs. I bruise easily, and the wound it inflicts cut deep, so for my own protection I have to love and spare myself from pain. It sounds very pessimistic but that's the only way I can protect myself. I want to always look at the bright side and remember that I am loved, no matter what. At the end of the day, though I may feel that I am neglected and unnoticed and unappreciated by some, I'd like to believe there are still people out there who sees the beauty in me.

Someday Lord, I hope I will understand why people came and went away from my life. I know you took them away for a reason. It hurts to trust and to give chance to people, only to leave you hanging at the end.

Yes, Lord. I gave a chance. I just trusted. But if all else fails, I know it's always for the better. Someday, I will understand.