The most disappointing thing that can happen in life is when the person who you thought will never hurt you did otherwise. There are people who you thought are worth pinning your hopes, yet, at the end, they end up breaking your heart just the same. It's frustrating that sometimes, you will end up thinking that no one will really keep to that ideal, and ideals after all, do not exist. I do not want to give up that there are people who are worth waiting for, with innate goodness and the purest of all intentions. Sadly, my heart was broken and crushed this time.
Perhaps that person is not yet there, because if there is, then it should not feel so wrong at the beginning. The least that one can do is to settle, because you would not want to end up regretting it forever. Every girl deserves to be loved, appreciated, and respected, and if a man can't do it now, how much more when you are married to him? It is not selfish to guard one's heart, so that when the right one comes, you have all the love to give. Guarding one's heart does not mean you keep it locked inside the box, it is more of acting prudently and being vigilant enough, just in case users or jerks are hovering around the corner. At the end of the day, what becomes of our life is a consequence of the decisions we made earlier on. It is about making choices where you will be happy and at peace with yourself. And when you know that you can sleep without doubts and regrets, most likely, the choice was right.
It will do no good to sulk and to blame who's who on why things didn't work. I should have known better, actually. I should have learned from my mistakes, but the hurt and pain was even worse than what I have experienced, I would say. But I'm not left empty-handed; in fact, a promise of a better life is beckoning me, even if that means without him. My fear is how to start over again, when you get used to going out with someone, watching movies together, texting in the morning and before you go to bed- all those have to be deleted from my system. I am reprogrammed and reformatted, and I am back to square 1. But I'd rather start anew than be doubtful if I'm doing things right and constantly ask myself if it's worth all the pain. And besides, love is a two-way traffic. Maybe, we are both not ready yet. He has yet to grow up, and I have to work on my self, too. Either way, maybe it won't work. It's saddening, but it's the reality. Hence, the letting go part.
Even if you tried to be brave and face the reality, sometimes it does not go on your favor, too. I'm not a scaredy-cat in dealing with confrontations anymore, though I warm up, usually, and take my time before I face the person. I want to deal with it in a very mature manner; sadly, he didn't want to. I was left hanging, and hurting more. But when left on your own, what are you to do? Lady, no guy who is manly enough will left you hanging like that. I believe that a man faces even his own fears, no matter how challenging that may be.
Starting all over again is frightening, indeed. In a dog-eat and uncertain world, how could you ever survive being around with predators? But what is better, to be with someone who you are not sure if you want to spend a lifetime with, or would you rather start from scratch and wait? It's hard, right? Questions will linger such as: "what if I made the wrong choice?," "what if I never find him/her?," "what if I just tried to make it work?."
But no matter what questions you come up in your head, actually it's only your heart who can give the answer. And when you follow your heart and your gut, most likely, you know where you'll be heading, you know what will make you happy, you know you have the hope to live for today, and be excited for tomorrow. It's the heart that knows when you're finally home, back to where you truly belong. And if the heart tells you that the time it's not yet ripe, then it's time to take a retreat. But if the heart whispers that "this is it," then by all means... go for it, no matter what it takes.
Monday, February 10, 2014
Friday, February 7, 2014
Know your worth
Know your worth
Wayne Dyer once said that self-worth comes from one thing - thinking
that you are worthy.
Our worth as a person is more than what we know; however, we sometimes keep
searching for what we already possess inside us. The kingdom of God is within us and He is
always willing to increase the resources in our life. But our success is also
dependent on understanding and believing that “we are worth it”.
It is a common question that we ask why we lack blessings in life. Once
we determine our self worth, then comes our knowledge of our net worth. Money problems
can actually be solved by working on our minds or the way we think of
ourselves. In reality, the problem is not the provider, but the receiver. God’s
capacity to give is bigger than our capacity to receive. Hence, what we just
have to do is increase our psychological wallet and believe that God wants to
bless us abundantly.
Failures will haunt us and make us doubt, but this should not define
what we are as a person. The secret to achieving is attributes multiplied by
our attitude, so when we change the way we see ourselves, success follows soon.
When we have good habits such as knowing our value and believing our abilities,
subsequently good fruits are there for the reaping.
A better self-worth is
achievable. First, one has to establish a self-ideal, or how you want to see
yourself. Second, is to know how you see yourself now, or your self-image. And
when the self-ideal and self-image is working, then you’ll have a good
self-esteem, or the confidence and satisfaction in oneself.
Our life is like a mirror, it reflects the way we see and think of
ourselves. The image that you see in that mirror is dependent on what you believe
and what you want to see. Why not try to change the way you look at yourself
now? Change your thoughts and you can change your world. And with a fervent
heart, just proclaim: “I’m God’s
Beloved, I’m God’s Servant, I’m God’s powerful champion, and because I am
blessed, I will bless the world.” J
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
of feelings
Pain strikes anytime, anywhere. This is something that you cannot escape. But what makes it even more terrorizing? I think it's when...
> the person you have been holding on to breaks your heart
> that someone who thought was different from the rest, turns out to be just the same, and even worse. (
> you are caught in between holding on and letting go
> you don't know how to pick up the pieces and start all over again
>the going gets tough, you are uncertain if you will have the needed support to pick yourself up
> you don't know what tomorrow has in store for you
> the same things happen again and again and it gets tiring
> you want to give people a chance, but you are now tired, doubtful, and afraid
> the person you trust keeps on hurting you and does not seem to internalize the true meaning of "sorry."
> you hold yourself the culprit for all the terrible circumstances and you don't know how others will think of you
>you want to put a stop to the hurt and all the vagueness, but you don't know how
> you fear that hope might be too far away
> And after a series of heartbreaks and rejection, will still there be that someone who will love you and prove that you are all worth it?
Maybe all these will be answered in time, and wounds will be healed. The doubts will be gone. All will just become a memory.
But for the time being, you feel the pain. And as you feel it, you have that glimmer of hope, that soon, it will just fade away and disappear.
Sunday, February 2, 2014
in silence
The beauty of silence allows me to ponder and marvel at a number of things...
a love that hurts and could never have been
of pain knifing one's heart, free flowing waters on one's cheeks
of groping and holding onto as obscure it may seem
still clinging into the impossible, the dark and the rim
fervent prayers whispered where faith is as unlimited as dreams.
Because it's in one silence where enlightenment is at its peak
to come to terms with oneself, nobody else plays intrusive
where oneself and inner soul collide
and the heart and mind finally coincides
the silence is the dawn of one's day
to bid goodbye to the unknown and the vague.
And you would know when to hold on and to let go
the heart speaks words that made sense even ages hence
the calming of one's fury, the fire has expired
there's ample light and glimmer on one's mind
never to be lost, a road map as a guide
in the midst of silence is the courage to decide.
Even if tears continuously flow or the heart unceasingly bleeds
the silence gathers courage, to give in even to defeat
it is a testament to memories, foolish choices, and the could have beens
and in silence one relives, hopes, accepts, cries, and keeps on dreaming.
Till reality prods to make choices, hand in hand with one's silence
And that day void with noise makes all that difference.
a love that hurts and could never have been
of pain knifing one's heart, free flowing waters on one's cheeks
of groping and holding onto as obscure it may seem
still clinging into the impossible, the dark and the rim
fervent prayers whispered where faith is as unlimited as dreams.
Because it's in one silence where enlightenment is at its peak
to come to terms with oneself, nobody else plays intrusive
where oneself and inner soul collide
and the heart and mind finally coincides
the silence is the dawn of one's day
to bid goodbye to the unknown and the vague.
And you would know when to hold on and to let go
the heart speaks words that made sense even ages hence
the calming of one's fury, the fire has expired
there's ample light and glimmer on one's mind
never to be lost, a road map as a guide
in the midst of silence is the courage to decide.
Even if tears continuously flow or the heart unceasingly bleeds
the silence gathers courage, to give in even to defeat
it is a testament to memories, foolish choices, and the could have beens
and in silence one relives, hopes, accepts, cries, and keeps on dreaming.
Till reality prods to make choices, hand in hand with one's silence
And that day void with noise makes all that difference.
Friday, January 31, 2014
getting older, day by day :)
For the first time in forever, and after so many years, priorities are starting to kick in my life. Recently I just added another year in my life, and perhaps I should owe these setting of priorities with the change in age. It's not that I don't want fun anymore, but I guess I wanted to be more serious about what I plan and envision of my future.
I guess I'm no longer the overly excited gal who would want to go home late and party left and right. Whenever I go home late, I feel uncomfortable sometimes. Part of me wants to rest and just spend my time meaningfully either reading, cooking, sleeping, watching a movie, going to church, and talking/bonding with my family and pet. I don't know if this is abnormal, but I seem to starting to bid goodbye to the wee hours of the night girl- who can still stay up at 3am and go to work at 5 in the morning. We are really getting older, indeed. Maybe because our body ages as we grow older, too. Needless to say, I don't dread all the changes. In fact, I am openly adapting to it.
I also came to realize that nothing is perfect in life and love. I learned to love and accept my family for who they are, and even for what they are not. Even if my boyfriend and I do have occasional fights, part of me would always go for quick reconciliation, and I really try my best to understand that nothing is perfect, and he's also trying his best to understand and accept me, despite all my quirkiness and stubbornness. At the end of the day, I know we choose to make a relationship work, and despite all the odds, you just won't give up. I know there are still more trials and hurdles to come my way, our way, but I just close my eyes and utter a meaningful prayer. All will be well, I just have to keep the faith.
Recently, I learned to value myself for who I am, and try my best to work on self-improvement. The improvement need not to be physical, but it's more of the emotional and spiritual side. I learned to appreciate the beauty in me, that I will never be perfect, and no one is. But still, I have been given much talents which I can use to help and inspire others. I know that I should learn to humble myself and acknowledge my faults, because humility will always make a better person out of me. If I am wrong, I should admit it, even if it is still hard. I am admittedly a person full of pride, but believe me, I am trying day by day.
Also, There are mistakes which I made, and perhaps are already irreparable. As it is, I should constantly strive to look at life in another light. It's no use crying over spilled milk, which goes to say, there are people who I have to let go, because I know I should learn to love myself, too. It won't hurt a bit if I value myself because I deserve it more than anything else. This time, I know I should give myself the love and respect I deserve. It's a painful process I have to endure, but I remain steadfast in my belief that there is no trial given to us that we cannot overcome.
My life is still far from perfect. But this time, even with all the failures, I want to live life with a clear purpose. I have to work harder because I want a good future for my family, and the family I will build in the future with the man I love. I want to enjoy life as a single lady and make my life productive as ever. One day, I know I will have to settle down and prioritize being a mother and wife to my husband and our future kids. I want to be a good mother and wife, too. And that can only be achieved and fulfilled if I make the most out of my life while I'm single.
I am setting my priorities straight this time. Life is tough, and so am I. I am still praying that all these dreams of mine will be fulfilled, in His perfect time. :)
I guess I'm no longer the overly excited gal who would want to go home late and party left and right. Whenever I go home late, I feel uncomfortable sometimes. Part of me wants to rest and just spend my time meaningfully either reading, cooking, sleeping, watching a movie, going to church, and talking/bonding with my family and pet. I don't know if this is abnormal, but I seem to starting to bid goodbye to the wee hours of the night girl- who can still stay up at 3am and go to work at 5 in the morning. We are really getting older, indeed. Maybe because our body ages as we grow older, too. Needless to say, I don't dread all the changes. In fact, I am openly adapting to it.
I also came to realize that nothing is perfect in life and love. I learned to love and accept my family for who they are, and even for what they are not. Even if my boyfriend and I do have occasional fights, part of me would always go for quick reconciliation, and I really try my best to understand that nothing is perfect, and he's also trying his best to understand and accept me, despite all my quirkiness and stubbornness. At the end of the day, I know we choose to make a relationship work, and despite all the odds, you just won't give up. I know there are still more trials and hurdles to come my way, our way, but I just close my eyes and utter a meaningful prayer. All will be well, I just have to keep the faith.
Recently, I learned to value myself for who I am, and try my best to work on self-improvement. The improvement need not to be physical, but it's more of the emotional and spiritual side. I learned to appreciate the beauty in me, that I will never be perfect, and no one is. But still, I have been given much talents which I can use to help and inspire others. I know that I should learn to humble myself and acknowledge my faults, because humility will always make a better person out of me. If I am wrong, I should admit it, even if it is still hard. I am admittedly a person full of pride, but believe me, I am trying day by day.
Also, There are mistakes which I made, and perhaps are already irreparable. As it is, I should constantly strive to look at life in another light. It's no use crying over spilled milk, which goes to say, there are people who I have to let go, because I know I should learn to love myself, too. It won't hurt a bit if I value myself because I deserve it more than anything else. This time, I know I should give myself the love and respect I deserve. It's a painful process I have to endure, but I remain steadfast in my belief that there is no trial given to us that we cannot overcome.
My life is still far from perfect. But this time, even with all the failures, I want to live life with a clear purpose. I have to work harder because I want a good future for my family, and the family I will build in the future with the man I love. I want to enjoy life as a single lady and make my life productive as ever. One day, I know I will have to settle down and prioritize being a mother and wife to my husband and our future kids. I want to be a good mother and wife, too. And that can only be achieved and fulfilled if I make the most out of my life while I'm single.
I am setting my priorities straight this time. Life is tough, and so am I. I am still praying that all these dreams of mine will be fulfilled, in His perfect time. :)
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Lady, you are worthy of LOVE
My Dearest Lady,
I heard that you are crying again last night. You might wonder how I knew about it, but it does not matter anymore. It pains me to know you are crying and shedding tears for someone who does not even seem to care for your feelings. Leaving you hanging, groping, waiting, and guessing... it has all been the same and I know that after sometime, it gets tiring too. Every night of crying, you start to ask yourself if you really are a trash, after being dumped and maybe played with several times. Is it a vicious cycle? My dear, you have the power to cut it off. You might be a victim, but it does not mean you will be miserable for all eternity.
You have the power to believe, and it has to start with having that conviction in yourself. For once, go convince yourself that you are not a rubbish, that you are priceless, and that you deserve the best. After all, loving should start with yourself. You cannot demand others to love you, then hate yourself in the process. You are unique and extraordinary, and if you only dig deeper, you will see that beauty that no one ever has. You are wonderfully and fearfully made. Believe in your beauty, and nurture it. Cultivate the talents and gifts given to you, and certainly, you will make such an impact, a difference.
Let go of the persons who have nothing to do but doubt yourself. Perhaps they are not so good for you, and they too, have insecurities and problems to deal with. True, life will be filled with such craps, but it's actually a matter of learning when it's enough, over, and too much. It's definitely not bad to be patient my dearest. But trust your instincts, because a woman's intuition, is her greatest weapon. I'm not telling that you be doubtful either. However, when people are pushing you to the edge, learn to set them aside, and for once, think of yourself. Guard thy heart, lady. How can you give love to others if your heart has been shattered, wounded, and devastated, after all those pain? Even if we cannot avoid all the hurts, it's not such a wise choice to jump into it, either. Life is all about making wise decisions, and it is no longer intelligent if same mistakes have been done, and the lesson takes forever to sink in. Bear in mind, that mistakes are repeated so you will learn.
I just want you to be strong and learn to stand up for yourself, this is not bad, but for your own good. You live in a dog-eat world, where you will be preyed against devouring and ravenous creatures, but do not be afraid. I want you to be strong so that you will have both feet stronghold and you will never be fooled and easily swayed. You are a woman of character, strength, and nobility. Why not? You actually bore the world in your womb. You nourish and nurture mankind, because you have that capacity to love and to care. Don't let that dream of yours be trampled upon just because of people who cannot do anything but to just hurt you, doubt your abilities, and make you cry. You might fail and stumble, but let me tell you that there is always someone who will believe in you. So stand up and dust off the dirt on your feet, go wipe your tears, get that smile back on your beautiful face, walk on... face life without fear. You can definitely do it.
I know that your heart is full of love and that you will wholly share it with the world. If you are still doubting your value, let me tell you that you are worthy of that love. The world may break your heart into the tiniest pieces, but hold on to that belief, still... that you are worthy of that love. If tears stream down on your cheek, resist the doubt, you are worthy of love. Romantic, filial, or platonic... you deserve all such love, because you are special in your own way, and you are always worth it. What I just want you to do is to believe, and to start loving and valuing yourself from now on. Don't be afraid to ask, but learn the difference of asking, and demanding. Have the courage to go for your dreams and heart's desires. Allow people to treat you special, but don't grow bratty or spoiled. For once, don't be ashamed and afraid to be given what is due to you. You deserve that, you surely do. And when you have been given so much that it overflows, remember to give thanks and share your blessings to others.
I hope that insecurities and doubts will not find its home in your heart. You cannot fulfill your dreams with those barricades, as they hinder you to see the beauty and promises of the world. So should people throw you with mockery, listen to the inner voice, telling you.. you are special. And if someone attempts to break your heart once again, believe that as always, you are worthy of being loved. Go tell yourself "I am a woman. I am precious. I deserve to be treated the way I should be. I deserve to be respected, cared for, and valued. I am always ready and capable of loving and caring. I am worthy of LOVE."
Go forth and sail. Dry those tears now. Believe. Inspire. Create. Feel. PRAY and LOVE.
I heard that you are crying again last night. You might wonder how I knew about it, but it does not matter anymore. It pains me to know you are crying and shedding tears for someone who does not even seem to care for your feelings. Leaving you hanging, groping, waiting, and guessing... it has all been the same and I know that after sometime, it gets tiring too. Every night of crying, you start to ask yourself if you really are a trash, after being dumped and maybe played with several times. Is it a vicious cycle? My dear, you have the power to cut it off. You might be a victim, but it does not mean you will be miserable for all eternity.
You have the power to believe, and it has to start with having that conviction in yourself. For once, go convince yourself that you are not a rubbish, that you are priceless, and that you deserve the best. After all, loving should start with yourself. You cannot demand others to love you, then hate yourself in the process. You are unique and extraordinary, and if you only dig deeper, you will see that beauty that no one ever has. You are wonderfully and fearfully made. Believe in your beauty, and nurture it. Cultivate the talents and gifts given to you, and certainly, you will make such an impact, a difference.
Let go of the persons who have nothing to do but doubt yourself. Perhaps they are not so good for you, and they too, have insecurities and problems to deal with. True, life will be filled with such craps, but it's actually a matter of learning when it's enough, over, and too much. It's definitely not bad to be patient my dearest. But trust your instincts, because a woman's intuition, is her greatest weapon. I'm not telling that you be doubtful either. However, when people are pushing you to the edge, learn to set them aside, and for once, think of yourself. Guard thy heart, lady. How can you give love to others if your heart has been shattered, wounded, and devastated, after all those pain? Even if we cannot avoid all the hurts, it's not such a wise choice to jump into it, either. Life is all about making wise decisions, and it is no longer intelligent if same mistakes have been done, and the lesson takes forever to sink in. Bear in mind, that mistakes are repeated so you will learn.
I just want you to be strong and learn to stand up for yourself, this is not bad, but for your own good. You live in a dog-eat world, where you will be preyed against devouring and ravenous creatures, but do not be afraid. I want you to be strong so that you will have both feet stronghold and you will never be fooled and easily swayed. You are a woman of character, strength, and nobility. Why not? You actually bore the world in your womb. You nourish and nurture mankind, because you have that capacity to love and to care. Don't let that dream of yours be trampled upon just because of people who cannot do anything but to just hurt you, doubt your abilities, and make you cry. You might fail and stumble, but let me tell you that there is always someone who will believe in you. So stand up and dust off the dirt on your feet, go wipe your tears, get that smile back on your beautiful face, walk on... face life without fear. You can definitely do it.
I know that your heart is full of love and that you will wholly share it with the world. If you are still doubting your value, let me tell you that you are worthy of that love. The world may break your heart into the tiniest pieces, but hold on to that belief, still... that you are worthy of that love. If tears stream down on your cheek, resist the doubt, you are worthy of love. Romantic, filial, or platonic... you deserve all such love, because you are special in your own way, and you are always worth it. What I just want you to do is to believe, and to start loving and valuing yourself from now on. Don't be afraid to ask, but learn the difference of asking, and demanding. Have the courage to go for your dreams and heart's desires. Allow people to treat you special, but don't grow bratty or spoiled. For once, don't be ashamed and afraid to be given what is due to you. You deserve that, you surely do. And when you have been given so much that it overflows, remember to give thanks and share your blessings to others.
I hope that insecurities and doubts will not find its home in your heart. You cannot fulfill your dreams with those barricades, as they hinder you to see the beauty and promises of the world. So should people throw you with mockery, listen to the inner voice, telling you.. you are special. And if someone attempts to break your heart once again, believe that as always, you are worthy of being loved. Go tell yourself "I am a woman. I am precious. I deserve to be treated the way I should be. I deserve to be respected, cared for, and valued. I am always ready and capable of loving and caring. I am worthy of LOVE."
Go forth and sail. Dry those tears now. Believe. Inspire. Create. Feel. PRAY and LOVE.
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Thank you for the 24 years :)
Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood. - Helen Keller
Words cannot express how much thankful I am to God for giving me 24 years of my life. It has been a roller-coaster of a ride- sometimes I am up, sometimes down. Nevertheless, it has truly been a remarkable experience. For every teardrop that fell in my eyes, I know there is a lesson to learn and for every smile and laughter, I know there are moments to remember. Even though my life at the age of 24 is still far from perfection, and maybe will never be, I am on the point of being contented and starting to be grateful for all the blessings showered upon me. Indeed, despite all what I've been through, I believe I am overly blessed to be stressed.
I will not become the person that I am today if not for the painful sharpenings that happened in my past. There will be times that I shed tears for lingering questions which I cannot answer, but I always tell myself that what does not kill me, makes me stronger. Because I stumbled once, I learned how to dust off the dirt on my knee, heal the wounds, get up, and move on. If life does not give me what I want, I learned to shrug it off, and just keep calm and relax. If life gives you lemons, then make lemonades. Moments of sadness and pain is an opportune time for me to reflect and contemplate on my current state in life. It makes me realize that I have people who I can depend on, and I am given the skill to channel my melancholy on other productive things. I cannot and should not wallow on loneliness, forever. I am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul, I steer the ship to the direction that I want. I chose to let go of bitterness and accept myself for who I am and even for what I am not. I am not perfect, but I am learning to love myself more each day. The hardships I have been through served to make me stronger just as a gem cannot be polished without friction, nor can a life be perfected without trials. Experience and trials are what make me the person I am now. I will never learn to appreciate the glorious and bountiful days of my life, if not for those dreary and weary seasons where I almost gave up life and lose hope in the process. Much is still to be learned, to go through, to discover, but as I grow older and shall I say wiser... I am less afraid. So even with my life's up and downs, it's alright. I still believe, life is beautiful, even when dark clouds are on their way. The sun will dawn on me one day, that is always certain. :)
It's true that as you age you learn to accept things with maturity and grace. There are people and things which I may never have at all, but perhaps, there's a better reason (even if that I still cannot fathom). Things happen and do not materialize at times for the greater good. Maybe not now, or not ever, but who knows? I learned to tone down a bit, relax and calm my nerves, give myself the peace and sleep I rightfully deserve, and laugh at my silliness and foolishness rather than making a big deal out of it. Life is too short for me to dwell on what's not, or the what ifs. What matters to me now is the present, that I will do my best and give it my all and whatever will become of my future, is something which I do not make myself anxious about. Even if disappointments and frustrations came my way, and with people hurting or failing me, I get by and stand tall. What good will it give me if I sulk inside a cold dark room and shed bitter tears? Nothing. I chose to go out, feel the warmth of the sun, enjoy the company and love of the people around me, and experience new things because that is what makes me living. There will always be someone way better, successful, attractive or prettier than me. But I want the people around me to remember not for my intelligence nor my charm, but for the way I influence or inspire them and with the memories worth reminiscing that we once shared.
For the first time in so many years that had gone by, I'd like to exclaim that I am happy...inside and out. There is nothing that can stop me for achieving my goals, dreams, and aspirations in life. The joy that comes within is overwhelming and I am proud to say that after so long, I realized that I should not depend on others for my happiness. I want to excel and help others, and doing so makes me happy and at peace with myself. I still want to write more, travel to places I have never been, meet more people who shares the same dreams and aspirations as I do. I still want to be a mother and wife in God's perfect time. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. And though I am not invincible and I have an expiration date too (that ony God knows when), I am ready to be unstoppable and conquer the world in my own and good way. :)
To my beloved family, thanks for the countless support and for accepting me regardless of my flaws, whims, and capriciousness. We are not the ideal family, but I will not exchange what I have for other families in the world. Thank you for teaching me greatest life's lessons such as perseverance, fortitude, faith in God, independence, and optimism. Much I owe to you because I was able to face life knowing I am well-equipped with the needed gears. You will always be special in my heart, and I want to achieve more because I want to give back everything. Sorry for my shortcomings and for my bad hair days, still and all, thank you for staying with me for 24 beautiful years.
To my friends, colleagues, church mates, students, and love of my life: thank you for all the inspiration and the beautiful memories. I look forward each day of my life because I am blessed with wonderful people who enables me to learn lessons which will help me mature and have a positive outlook in life. Thank you for all the words of wisdom, compliments, sincere and honest criticism, sound advice, buckets of laughter we shared over jokes and some silly conversations. I may not be a millionaire in cash, but I am a billionaire in relationships with good people and memories worth reminiscing. I thrive and survive because I have people who make me believe in my skills, talents, and abilities. And as Stevie Wonder says, I will sing to myself "what a wonderful world..."
And for those who hurt me in one way or another, thank you for the tears in my cheek and for the wounds in my heart which mold me to a better and stronger person. It was a painful process, but I will not be toughened if I do not meet people who made me doubt myself, broke my heart, and left me. I survived, and now am flying and sailing with flying colors. For making me the brave girl I am, thank you!
From the bottom of my heart, thank you God for the 24 wonderful years. The joy and contentment that I feel radiates from the hope coming from you. Thank you for loving me as I am- despite my many failures as your child. Thank you for mending my broken heart, for helping me pick up the pieces, for making me see how beautiful and promising life is, and for giving me people who are willing to love me no matter what happens. You always save me when I am bottom pit and when everything seems bleak and hopeless. Life is undeniably amazing, because of You are a generously gracious God. What would become of me without You? That I really wonder. Finally, I learned to love myself. I never really know that happiness is something that you give to yourself, since I drew myself closer to you. I may stumble and fall again and may have wounds more difficult to heal in the future, but with You giving me strength, I can face and defy all the odds and storms in my life. Thank you for the gift of life. Thank you for the gift of inner happiness. Thank you for letting me know You better each day. That in all things, I yearn to glorify you, Lord. I love you and I always will.
I have the best 24 years of my life. I am just so blessed to have one. Thank you for joining me in this journey. :) I shall still see all of you.
Happy 24th birthday Ellen Marie. :) Keep calm, Pray, and enjoy life!
Words cannot express how much thankful I am to God for giving me 24 years of my life. It has been a roller-coaster of a ride- sometimes I am up, sometimes down. Nevertheless, it has truly been a remarkable experience. For every teardrop that fell in my eyes, I know there is a lesson to learn and for every smile and laughter, I know there are moments to remember. Even though my life at the age of 24 is still far from perfection, and maybe will never be, I am on the point of being contented and starting to be grateful for all the blessings showered upon me. Indeed, despite all what I've been through, I believe I am overly blessed to be stressed.
I will not become the person that I am today if not for the painful sharpenings that happened in my past. There will be times that I shed tears for lingering questions which I cannot answer, but I always tell myself that what does not kill me, makes me stronger. Because I stumbled once, I learned how to dust off the dirt on my knee, heal the wounds, get up, and move on. If life does not give me what I want, I learned to shrug it off, and just keep calm and relax. If life gives you lemons, then make lemonades. Moments of sadness and pain is an opportune time for me to reflect and contemplate on my current state in life. It makes me realize that I have people who I can depend on, and I am given the skill to channel my melancholy on other productive things. I cannot and should not wallow on loneliness, forever. I am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul, I steer the ship to the direction that I want. I chose to let go of bitterness and accept myself for who I am and even for what I am not. I am not perfect, but I am learning to love myself more each day. The hardships I have been through served to make me stronger just as a gem cannot be polished without friction, nor can a life be perfected without trials. Experience and trials are what make me the person I am now. I will never learn to appreciate the glorious and bountiful days of my life, if not for those dreary and weary seasons where I almost gave up life and lose hope in the process. Much is still to be learned, to go through, to discover, but as I grow older and shall I say wiser... I am less afraid. So even with my life's up and downs, it's alright. I still believe, life is beautiful, even when dark clouds are on their way. The sun will dawn on me one day, that is always certain. :)
It's true that as you age you learn to accept things with maturity and grace. There are people and things which I may never have at all, but perhaps, there's a better reason (even if that I still cannot fathom). Things happen and do not materialize at times for the greater good. Maybe not now, or not ever, but who knows? I learned to tone down a bit, relax and calm my nerves, give myself the peace and sleep I rightfully deserve, and laugh at my silliness and foolishness rather than making a big deal out of it. Life is too short for me to dwell on what's not, or the what ifs. What matters to me now is the present, that I will do my best and give it my all and whatever will become of my future, is something which I do not make myself anxious about. Even if disappointments and frustrations came my way, and with people hurting or failing me, I get by and stand tall. What good will it give me if I sulk inside a cold dark room and shed bitter tears? Nothing. I chose to go out, feel the warmth of the sun, enjoy the company and love of the people around me, and experience new things because that is what makes me living. There will always be someone way better, successful, attractive or prettier than me. But I want the people around me to remember not for my intelligence nor my charm, but for the way I influence or inspire them and with the memories worth reminiscing that we once shared.
For the first time in so many years that had gone by, I'd like to exclaim that I am happy...inside and out. There is nothing that can stop me for achieving my goals, dreams, and aspirations in life. The joy that comes within is overwhelming and I am proud to say that after so long, I realized that I should not depend on others for my happiness. I want to excel and help others, and doing so makes me happy and at peace with myself. I still want to write more, travel to places I have never been, meet more people who shares the same dreams and aspirations as I do. I still want to be a mother and wife in God's perfect time. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. And though I am not invincible and I have an expiration date too (that ony God knows when), I am ready to be unstoppable and conquer the world in my own and good way. :)
To my beloved family, thanks for the countless support and for accepting me regardless of my flaws, whims, and capriciousness. We are not the ideal family, but I will not exchange what I have for other families in the world. Thank you for teaching me greatest life's lessons such as perseverance, fortitude, faith in God, independence, and optimism. Much I owe to you because I was able to face life knowing I am well-equipped with the needed gears. You will always be special in my heart, and I want to achieve more because I want to give back everything. Sorry for my shortcomings and for my bad hair days, still and all, thank you for staying with me for 24 beautiful years.
To my friends, colleagues, church mates, students, and love of my life: thank you for all the inspiration and the beautiful memories. I look forward each day of my life because I am blessed with wonderful people who enables me to learn lessons which will help me mature and have a positive outlook in life. Thank you for all the words of wisdom, compliments, sincere and honest criticism, sound advice, buckets of laughter we shared over jokes and some silly conversations. I may not be a millionaire in cash, but I am a billionaire in relationships with good people and memories worth reminiscing. I thrive and survive because I have people who make me believe in my skills, talents, and abilities. And as Stevie Wonder says, I will sing to myself "what a wonderful world..."
And for those who hurt me in one way or another, thank you for the tears in my cheek and for the wounds in my heart which mold me to a better and stronger person. It was a painful process, but I will not be toughened if I do not meet people who made me doubt myself, broke my heart, and left me. I survived, and now am flying and sailing with flying colors. For making me the brave girl I am, thank you!
From the bottom of my heart, thank you God for the 24 wonderful years. The joy and contentment that I feel radiates from the hope coming from you. Thank you for loving me as I am- despite my many failures as your child. Thank you for mending my broken heart, for helping me pick up the pieces, for making me see how beautiful and promising life is, and for giving me people who are willing to love me no matter what happens. You always save me when I am bottom pit and when everything seems bleak and hopeless. Life is undeniably amazing, because of You are a generously gracious God. What would become of me without You? That I really wonder. Finally, I learned to love myself. I never really know that happiness is something that you give to yourself, since I drew myself closer to you. I may stumble and fall again and may have wounds more difficult to heal in the future, but with You giving me strength, I can face and defy all the odds and storms in my life. Thank you for the gift of life. Thank you for the gift of inner happiness. Thank you for letting me know You better each day. That in all things, I yearn to glorify you, Lord. I love you and I always will.
I have the best 24 years of my life. I am just so blessed to have one. Thank you for joining me in this journey. :) I shall still see all of you.
Happy 24th birthday Ellen Marie. :) Keep calm, Pray, and enjoy life!
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