Feel Your Feelings: A Movie Commentary of "Inside Out"

 "This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man." - Hamlet by Shakespeare

In the society we live in, we are often bound to mask or camouflage our innermost feelings. Thinking that we will be judged, misunderstood, or perceived as difficult to deal with, we'd rather hide the pain or conceal our fears, angst, gloom, or hurts. When asked the question "How are you?", we often response with the classic "I'm fine," even if in reality, it's the other way around. It is seemingly an unwritten rule for us to pretend we are okay, or to carry our burdens deep within, for they will be solved anyway, in the long run.

But even the most optimistic and joyful of all person has its limits and boundaries. And our real emotions will soon find its way out. As shown in the movie "Inside Out," Joy cannot rule over Sadness forever. Yes, for a couple of days, we will succeed in feigning gladness. At one point, we can still muster the courage and feel that we are okay. Yet, when left on our own, and when we try to mull-over things, in silence of the night, what we are truly feeling will finally surface. We may try to acknowledge or deny what we really feel, but either way, no matter how we bottle them up deep inside, it will eventually find its way out. 

This battle of emotions was evident in the movie "Inside Out" when Riley tried her best to show her parents that she is satisfied with their current situation and that it was an easy pill for her to swallow. But moving to a new place, and leaving her hometown and friends was surely a big adjustment for her. However, since her parents somehow expect her to be the usual happy girl that she is, she has to feign  acceptance and full submission to her parent's decision, even if deep inside, the painful reality has not sunk in that much. There was much adjustment to do, and that was not fully processed with her, nor was she prepared for it. All of that was like a roller-coaster ride for Riley, but she has to try to live with what was expected of her, thus, denying or hiding her true feelings.

In the end, Riley knew their new life was not a walk in the park. She missed her hometown, and her friends. But like any of us, she pretended as if she was perfectly fine. Until one day, the bottled up feelings suddenly explode. At this point, we are enlightened that there will come a point that the emotions we bury deep within will reveal itself in time. Until when is it safe to deny ourselves what or how we truly feel? At what point is it safe to say that we are okay? Shall we just smile or pretend that everything is alright, or should we acknowledge that sadness and despair is creeping in, and we need someone to talk it out, to eventually lighten our load?

As the character, Sadness, puts it "Crying helps me slow down and obsess over the weight of life's problems." We often perceive crying as a sign of weakness, but in fact, those who admit that they feel lonely or sad, are courageous enough to admit and embrace their innermost feelings. Nothing is wrong with crying or tearing up over life's troubles. Just as there is thunderstorm and rain, surely life has its share of dark days. What's worth remembering and looking forward though, it that these gloomy feeling has its expiration date. The world is full of binaries, when there is rain, soon, the sun will rise and shine again. When we cry, we cleanse ourselves of the emotions that's burdening us and a way to purge pent up emotions so they don't lodge in our bodies. Our eyes may be dimmed by the tears that well-up as we cry, but we sure will feel that our vision is clearer after the outpour of tears. 

Denying oneself of our innermost emotions is futile because the truth shall always prevail, and as cliche as it is, will set one free. So the next time you feel deep inside that you feel sad, gloomy, depressed, or anything that is tantamount to "not perfectly fine," acknowledge that what you feel is real and worthy of attention and processing. After all, there is a healthy amount of loneliness that's worth mulling over with. Feel your feelings, because in the end, our feelings hold the key to our well-being. "Don't worry. It's okay to be sad. Feel it. Let it out. After that, everything will be alright." :)

Starting over again: because sometimes there are no second chances

"Starting Over Again", a film by Olivia Lamasan, starring Piolo Pascual, Toni Gonzaga, and Iza Calsado has been the talk of the town lately, much to the good reviews coming from its viewers. Not your typical romantic-comedy movie, it talks about almost "having a second chance at love," but people do change overtime, so it is better off to start off with what's right, and what's best for the situation, after having moved on for sometime; hence, the title. Indeed, the movie gave a new twist for the usual Filipino love stories, as most audiences love a "happy ending." Though not necessarily the "happy ending" we wish it will be, I believe "Starting Over Again" portrayed a closer picture of the reality and even pains of love, that most audiences can relate with.

The underlying theme of the movie is "Not everyone has a second chance at love, so learn to value the person you love before its too late." Second chances seem beautiful, but in reality, not everyone has the chance of getting one, because everyone changes, learn, move on, and learn to love once again (this time with another person). While it seems magical to rekindle the past and to ignite the love and the fire that two people used to have, it may not necessarily be the best, for the time apart allowed either of the two to grow and to move on. As painful as it may sound, "Starting Over Again" made us realize the importance of knowing when to hold on and to let go. For Ginny, Marco's letter written four years ago, made her cling on to "hope," which her friend called as a "lethal potion." What may be true four years ago, may not hold true anymore in the present time, and Ginny, a fool out of love, failed to realize that. She hold on to that letter sent four years ago, making herself believe that Marco would wait for her. She did not realize that people have the ability to change, and time is the greatest healer of all pains and wounds, much as the greatest element which will make us forget and move on. Ginny is a representation of how we can be made fools out of love- that no matter how accomplished one is, we can make stupid and idiotic actions and choices, sometimes, out of desperation, or because of a love that we selfishly wanted to have. We laughed at the movie, but in reality, Ginny's character is just as pathetic, and sometimes can be annoying. How can a girl like her throw all her "decency" and "wits" just for a man who is now committed and clearly in love with his current girlfriend? But we all know the answer to that. She is simply "madly in love," and that gives her ample reasons to justify even her stupid actions.

The ending of a movie gave us a refreshing twist and an insightful and sound reason for two old flames to meet the second time around. Clearly, the time to meet again may not be the time to rekindle the love, but to answer all lingering questions; thereby allowing them to move on, to have a closure, and to give love wholeheartedly for the person who rightfully deserves us. It may be hard to accept and to let go of your greatest love, but sometimes, we just have to be strong. As Marco tells Ginny "You will be okay." And Marco, is a living proof that no matter how heartbroken we might be, we will pick up the pieces, move on, and even find someone new, when the time is right. In fact, Marco found the right one in the character of Patty- a beautiful picture of how true love should be. "Our love may be boring, but it's real, with the right amount of love, trust, respect, and a little allowance for mistakes. I love him and in love there is no fear." Despite Marco's mistakes and his painful past, Patty accepted him wholeheartedly, and she remained calm and composed despite having been wronged by his boyfriend. At the end, we clearly know that it is Patty who deserves Marco, after all, for she was able to internalize the true meaning of love, "love is patient, love is kind... it is not self-seeking, it keeps no record of wrongs."

We all have that one great love that we can never forget, perhaps. At times, we wonder if we can ever forget them. But the movie clearly sends the message that sometimes, "we can never unlove someone, we just love them in a different way." We gave a part of ourselves to that someone, and we will always have that love, though not as strong as it used to be before. Though we never ended up with them, everything happens for a reason. As Marco puts it, Ginny made him to be a better version of himself. Hence, even if theirs was not a happy ending, they had a good closure,and most importantly, forgiveness. We may never end up with our one great love, much to our wonder, but there's a reason why, and only time can tell. But the key as the movie puts it, is to allow time to heal all wounds, accept and learn to let go, move on and learn to love again, and always be ready to forgive. :)

it's a date :D

After three months, oh yes, congratulate me, I had a date again! Wohooo! I've been praying for this one, seriously. And even if I did not expect that the guy would express his interest in meeting me, he did. :)

Actually, this smart guy is a very interesting person. In person, he really seems shy and inexpressive, but when he talks, oh well, you would conclude that he knows a lot. He's an engineer so expect that he's adept at math. Plus, he reads! And even reads better than I do (even if I'm the English teacher). And there's more because he sketches, and even writes. Wow naman kuya for that!

Ours was a pretty normal date. We ate snack. Watch "The Hobbit". Talked inside the movie house about what we are watching (sorry to those seated beside and in front of us, I know we are kind of chatty! hahaha). I find his expressions while watching a movie funny and weird, but nevertheless cute (it's quite hard to describe! hahaha)! A perfect gentleman, he is. The temperature in the cinema is really cold, you know, and I was surprised he offered me his jacket, which I politely refused since I was not really shivering that time.

He was my Mr. Know it all when it comes to LOTR for he watched all the three movies, and I did not! So when there are things which I am confused of, I asked him, of course. At least I have someone to help me, so that's way better than watching it all by myself. :)

Dinner was conversation time. I appreciate the opportunity to know him better. Since the movie ran for three hours and it was getting late, we decided to call it a day. And well, he accompanied me home. I know that's normal. But I don't know,I find it sweet when guys do that. Honestly, not all my dates would offer to accompany me home. Hahahaha! Would you say he was way better than all the rest? Too early to say, I guess. But let me think he is. :) At least.

It was a long walk and ride going home. And yes, he met my family (dad and brother). They were not surprised at all as I prepared them for this. But It was me who was quite surprised by his actions. He made "mano" to my dad and shook hands with my brother, and called him "bro".  Quite respectful, really. I was touched and wowed. I hate to compare, but my ex did not do that, even.  Is that a good sign?  Well, my promise is that I won't compare anymore. Promise!

All in all. He was a simple, shy type guy, yet a gentleman. My cousin was right about what he said about him. Will there be a part two? Let's see. But I hope so. Honestly, I like the feeling of having someone whom I don't have to play pretend with. He's smarter than me, so being a smart girl, too, it's easy for me to express myself. And he listens, you would see, which is good. He may not be super talkative and bubbly, but come on- it's hard to find a super sensible and deep guy nowadays.

Again, it's too early to tell. It may just be a simple and friendly date for him, but I'm just open to all possibilities and I still hoping for the best yet to come. I'll keep in touch. Who knows, it may be love this time? No need to rush. :D

It's a happy Christmas indeed. And see, I had a date before Christmas. I can't help but shed tears of joy.
God answered my prayer already. At least I will all the more have the heart to move on and forget the bad memories of yesterday, and replace them with even better ones.

Thank you God. I am ready to love again. Soon. :)


12/22/2012
PS: It's not the end of the world!!!! :P