insecurities

Negativities and dark energies

Gnawing thy heart

Obliterating all that was good

The beauty deep within remains unseen.

Questions hang on

Rekindling the doubts that were long kept

The frustrations and agony now heartfelt

And the passion and faith soon vanished.

Waters stream from the eye frenziedly

And the heart tore into millions

Shattered and fragmented was she,

The vision then turns dimmer, hazy.

someday

SOMEDAY

“When someone walks away from you, it’s not the end of your story.

It’s the end of their role in your story.”

                People come and go. At times, due to this, we are intensely perplexed by the seemingly fleetingness of things. It’s true, letting go is always easier said than done.  Acceptance will always be a pain in the neck; nonetheless, it’s still a bitter pill we have to swallow. We are left with no choice.

                Heartbreaks are always terrifying. But when you attach yourself to somebody, there is that chance of getting hurt, whether we like it or not.  However, who would like to fully embrace pain? True enough, it is something all humans dread. Most certainly, it is.

                Even if it sounds so throbbing, we all have to accept life’s reality, that not all people are meant to stay with us forever. Again, people will come and get to know you, and later on leave, sometimes even without warning. We may be left questioning, lingering, wondering, and agonizing but what’s the use? We will shed a bitter tear, only to realize, tearing up may not be worth it.

                Acceptance is always the sure key. I want to use the word forgetting, but acceptance would sound better since it implies that you let go without ill-feelings. Forgetting may suggest totally eradicating that person in your life, up to the point of scrapping even the memories in your head. But how easy it is to accept? Is it still possible? Of course it is, but then again, it’s something that we must do courageously, with willingness that is.

                When people leave we will surely ask ourselves why this sort of things happened. I, too, felt the same way. I lost all the desire to believe in myself and to look forward to what life could still give me. I asked why the world is unfair to me, when all I am ever hoping for is to find my “one true love”. Hearing myself say all those things, I was dumbfounded. But who else will help me cope with the loss but myself? I cannot totally rely on other people. Yes, they are there to guide me, give me pieces of advice, and enlightenment, but it is still me who will do all the working. I have to affirm my belief in myself, be strong, move forward, and carry on. Indeed, there’s wisdom in experiencing hurdles like these. I learned how to be strong amidst travails and to hold on to God, the ONE who will never let me go.

                At this point of my life, I have been through a lot. And I know for sure, that more people will come and go in my life. But should this be a reason for us to be afraid? Knowing how fleeting relationships may last, how else can we find security? Pause for a while, ask, why be clouded with paranoia? If people will leave us, for sure, there are reasons. Reasons that we may not fully understand now, but in HIS time, we will, certainly.

                Some people will come in our lives momentarily. They may be here to open our eyes and perhaps teach us a lesson. Whether we like it or not, others’ role may be to hurt us and make us cry, so that we may be strengthened. And through all the pains, we discover the beauty of pain, seeing that through hurting we will learn to explore, take risks, and even marvel that God has given us much support system from family and friends. As demanding as it may sound, it will still be best not to harbour grudges and bitterness just because a person left a scar in your heart. As martyr as it may sound, but if we embrace bitterness, we are the one losing at the end. Bitterness hinders us to see the beauty that life has yet to offer. Life is wonderful, full of beautiful people and great things that are yet to come. And if we are clouded by the obscure clouds brought by bitterness, we are losing the many marvellous opportunities in life. So why be bitter? Let go, move on, and if things do not work the way we want it to be, accept it. Besides, God will not allow something to happen without a purpose. Something better is in store.

                So if someone broke my heart and will do the same just again, I won’t be bothered. If the same things happen twice and maybe more than, it’s an opportunity for us to learn. For every downfall, the key is to learn the lesson and hopefully be wiser, better, and not to repeat the same mistakes. Problems should not transform us into chicken-hearted individuals, rather as soldiers who are equipped with shields ready for any battle. I am not afraid to face life, and in the right time, I am ready to love wholeheartedly. It will take time though, I guess. What I will do today is to be more optimistic and embrace all the positivities that at the end I may attract the good energies.

                The universe has its own course. Time will heal all wounds. So if you do experience rejection today, strive to make yourself better. Every day is a chance to learn and discover our self. True, there are so much that we can do.  The challenge is ours for the taking. Despite the pain, is the call of picking up the pieces of life with God’s help, and at the end we will all see and perhaps even conclude, that whatever it was that we experienced, was for the better. We may even find out, it was God’s act of saving us from the wrong one, that of which we will surely be thankful.

                For now, I am accepting the turn-about of things, letting go of the negative thoughts, and moving forward with a joyful heart. God is working through my life, so what could be more better than that? I will rejoice and celebrate because I have thousands of good things in store and a number of opportunities are mine for the taking. Someday, when the right time comes, I will surely find the one who is destined for me. And when that time in my life comes, I will surely thank God for all the heartaches I’ve been through, for by saving me from the wrong one, He lead me to my soul mate. That day I will look forward with hope and anticipation, but in the meantime, I will discover myself first, get to know more people, be of good influence to others, and serve God wholeheartedly. I will meet him when I am most ready. Someday. God knows when, so I  trust HIM, completely.

a wind that comes and goes

What is done has been done for the best

Though the mist in my eyes might suggest

Just a little confusion about what I’ll lose

But if I started over I know I would choose

The same joy the same sadness each step of the way

That fought me and taught me that friends never say

Never say goodbye

- Friends never say goodbye by Elton John

I always love the feeling when the air breezes through and touches my skin. It’s an unending source of solace especially when the heat has been irritating my nerves. However, its gush may not take too long as it may just happen to drop by and suddenly go. When that happened, I feel I’m at lost again, in the midst of the blazing heat, trying to ward-off the rising temperature I’m feeling within.

The same goes for friendship. It will always be our timeless source of solace and refuge that even if there are dark clouds dimming your vision, a friend  can always find a way to make a light shine through. Sometimes, friends themselves bring the light that you need- their comforting laughs,their unending stories, their awkward actions,or senseless jokes will be more than enough to lighten your somber mood. It’s always amazing how friends can make you feel soaring and carefree. Even if you are feasting on the cheapest meal, its always   the most delighting of all as the thought of having someone to share it with adds zest to the apparent simplicity.

However, that wondrous feeling may not last long as not all friendships are guaranteed to last a lifetime. There will be a number of impediments along the way,some of them are even beyond what we can imagine. People and circumstances may undergo sudden alterations for reasons that will be left unbeknown. You may be left perplexed feeling that you seem to not know the same person anymore. Change will then be inevitable and what’s left if the spark is no longer gleaming are the memories you both shared once upon a not-so-long time ago.

New friends will enter the scene and will bring your life to another height, maybe even to the topmost of it. You may have reached the pinnacle and nirvana with them, but it will always come to a point where a soft but striking voice will linger, and that’s the thought of rekindling the seemingly lost friendship. For a moment, you’ll feel you’re torn in between, so you’ll make a way but it will remain always “easier said than done.”

Then there’s another element called “pride.” Hand and hand with it, there goes ones ego. Why should I always be the ones left to do everything? In the midst of this debacle, you’ll feel that life can be so unfair. If people chose to keep a certain distance from you where are we to go? Are we supposed to run after them or simply resign to the relentless truth that not all friendships are meant to be? If you happen to follow the prompt of your conscience, will it be tantamount to salvaging the friendship? Are all friendships really fleeting, swift as the thunder, winged Mercury that will slip and never return?

The test of genuine friendship then is an incorrigible challenge. Indeed, time, distance, space, and change will always be our toughest opponents. People may choose to put you into oblivion and decide to soar life starting anew even if it means not having you, but that does not necessarily entail you’ll bury the memories as well. Friendship is always something worth unearthing and reviving, just as we hope that be it an unequivocal truth that a true friend, even if left behind or set aside (in the meantime) will at all times remain intrinsically undying, for as the Bible puts it, “A friend loveth at all times.” And if you are truly made to be friends, the hands of fate shall work on revitalizing the dwindling friendship. so let the fire of unwavering love and fountain of unceasing forgiveness remain, and someday soon, for all we know, the friendship will stand resurrected, even made better and stronger, till it’s time to say goodbye to the fluttering heat and emptiness that hovers, for the soothing air of friendship is there to cuddle the once profligating soul.

*** For you

a wind that comes and goes

What is done has been done for the best

Though the mist in my eyes might suggest

Just a little confusion about what I’ll lose

But if I started over I know I would choose

The same joy the same sadness each step of the way

That fought me and taught me that friends never say

Never say goodbye

- Friends never say goodbye by Elton John

I always love the feeling when the air breezes through and touches my skin. It’s an unending source of solace especially when the heat has been irritating my nerves. However, its gush may not take too long as it may just happen to drop by and suddenly go. When that happened, I feel I’m at lost again, in the midst of the blazing heat, trying to ward-off the rising temperature I’m feeling within.

The same goes for friendship. It will always be our timeless source of solace and refuge that even if there are dark clouds dimming your vision, a friend  can always find a way to make a light shine through. Sometimes, friends themselves bring the light that you need- their comforting laughs,their unending stories, their awkward actions,or senseless jokes will be more than enough to lighten your somber mood. It’s always amazing how friends can make you feel soaring and carefree. Even if you are feasting on the cheapest meal, its always   the most delighting of all as the thought of having someone to share it with adds zest to the apparent simplicity.

However, that wondrous feeling may not last long as not all friendships are guaranteed to last a lifetime. There will be a number of impediments along the way,some of them are even beyond what we can imagine. People and circumstances may undergo sudden alterations for reasons that will be left unbeknown. You may be left perplexed feeling that you seem to not know the same person anymore. Change will then be inevitable and what’s left if the spark is no longer gleaming are the memories you both shared once upon a not-so-long time ago.

New friends will enter the scene and will bring your life to another height, maybe even to the topmost of it. You may have reached the pinnacle and nirvana with them, but it will always come to a point where a soft but striking voice will linger, and that’s the thought of rekindling the seemingly lost friendship. For a moment, you’ll feel you’re torn in between, so you’ll make a way but it will remain always “easier said than done.”

Then there’s another element called “pride.” Hand and hand with it, there goes ones ego. Why should I always be the ones left to do everything? In the midst of this debacle, you’ll feel that life can be so unfair. If people chose to keep a certain distance from you where are we to go? Are we supposed to run after them or simply resign to the relentless truth that not all friendships are meant to be? If you happen to follow the prompt of your conscience, will it be tantamount to salvaging the friendship? Are all friendships really fleeting, swift as the thunder, winged Mercury that will slip and never return?

The test of genuine friendship then is an incorrigible challenge. Indeed, time, distance, space, and change will always be our toughest opponents. People may choose to put you into oblivion and decide to soar life starting anew even if it means not having you, but that does not necessarily entail you’ll bury the memories as well. Friendship is always something worth unearthing and reviving, just as we hope that be it an unequivocal truth that a true friend, even if left behind or set aside (in the meantime) will at all times remain intrinsically undying, for as the Bible puts it, “A friend loveth at all times.” And if you are truly made to be friends, the hands of fate shall work on revitalizing the dwindling friendship. so let the fire of unwavering love and fountain of unceasing forgiveness remain, and someday soon, for all we know, the friendship will stand resurrected, even made better and stronger, till it’s time to say goodbye to the fluttering heat and emptiness that hovers, for the soothing air of friendship is there to cuddle the once profligating soul.

*** For you

hollow

A mist in a morning

Obstructing a vision so clear

Grayness heightens

And everything in between.

Shadows walk and thread their path

Finding their homes, finding their souls

Retracing memories, through voices that lingers

Still all was asunder, none beyond reach.

The night turns dimmer

And the moon with the clouds

Impedes the radiance it yields

And nothing left for remembering.

Hence turn the tides

Washing up the sands

As they become a single entity

In the vastness of the seas

Still the soul was there

A vagabond in the world of the living

But a dead in the making

Left unrecognized, unknown.

And as the gust of air starts perching

The dreams that once were

To nothingness was driven, then vanished

All the hopes collide, with emptiness it died.

circumstances

When I feel sad I will cry,

Whine, moan, groan

Until all the bitterness is gone.

When I feel happy I will jump

Soar high in the sky and fly

As if tomorrow will never come.

When someone broke my heart

I will be strong and carry on

Despite the nightmarish emotion.

When I fall in love again

I will be better and wiser

And The agony of the past will be over.

pagulan,pighati,pagluha

#### This is a poem I made for the rainy season! Enjoy!

Sa bawat pagpatak ng ulan,

Pagbugso ng hangin

Paglagas ng mga dahon,

Pagkalat ng karimlan,

Habang ang samyo ng hangin

Ay binabalot ng lamig

At ng kalunkutang di maipaliwanag,

Heto ako sa gitna ng ulan…

Nagiisa, nagiisip, umaasa.

Ngunit kahit anong dilim,

At kahit anong lamig

Kahit magisa kong tinatahak

Ang daan sa gitna ng ulan

Ng delubyo kung tawagin ng ilan

Ang dilim at ang lamig ng hangin

Ay perpekto sa king paningin.

Dahil sa gitna ng kahungkagan

At sa bawat pagpatak ng tila butil perlas

O lubid na kaybigat mula sa kalangitan

Samahan pa ng hampas ng hangin

Na itulak ko ma’y di ko maiwasan

Ako’y sasampalin, diwa’y gigisingin

At ang pwersa di ko kayang gupuin

Hanggang sa matakpan nito ang damdaming sinisikil.

Di nga ba sa bawat buhos, hampas, dilim, lamig

Itong aking luha at palahaw ay di na pansin?

Oh anong ganda at aking mga lihim,

Sa gitna ng bagyo, ng hangin, ng ulan,

Kasama nilang nakikimkim?

At sino nga ba ang makakakita,

Sino ba ang makadadama,

Sino ang makadirinig,

Na may isang kaluluwang ligaw tulad ko,

Ang nasasaktan, tumatangis,

Kung ang buhos ng ulan ang kanilang naririnig?

Ano ba ang laban ko sa pwersa na kalikasan?

Ako na isa lamang hamak na nilalang?

Isang tuldok na naligaw dito sa salibutan?

At habang ako’y magisa’t nagmumuni-muni

Di ako takot kahit kulog at kidlat ay nagdudumali

Pagkat sila ang kanlungan ko at kakampi

Tinatago, inaakay, inuunawa ang aking mga hikbi

Inaaring kanila ang aking mga palahaw at pighati

Hanggang sa matapos ag unos, dilim ay mawawala na din,

Mga bakas ng aking luha’y wala man lang nakapansin

Pagkat sinama na sila ng ulan at ng nagkalat na dilim.