30 things to stop doing to yourself

When you stop chasing the wrong things you give
the right things a chance to catch you.

As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you likeeveryone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.
21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.
24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.
25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.
28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

From: http://www.bspcn.com/2012/02/03/30-things-to-stop-doing-to-yourself/

because love and happiness is a CHOICE

It's almost December and the coldness fills the air. The Holiday spirit is now kicking in as I can hear the sleigh bells ringing with the "All I want for Christmas is you" as the background music. This is not another blog ranting about my frustrations of being Single and Lonely during the most festive season of the year. Rather, I am writing about my thoughts on finding love, through dating...again. :D

It was just a few months ago when we finally called it quits. After all the throbbing heartache, I came to a point when I found crying idiotic and stupid. Girls and guys alike, even if the pain is as excruciating as it may sound, I always believe that the best we can do is to accept and to move on. Not all things are meant to be anyways. At the end of the day, we have to be thankful that we had such experience. Through the good and the bad of it all, I'm pretty much sure the relationship taught us, a LOT. :P

So what is the next thing to do? As for me, keeping yourself busy is always cool. Finding a hobby, bonding with true friends, travelling, shopping, working out, and beautifying oneself would all be helpful. Instead of focusing on the wrongs and what ifs of the failed relationship, it is best to focus and work on yourself. It is not selfish to do so. And while your doing this, you'll discover so much about you that you did not know before. Set aside the melancholic and suicidal thoughts. Those would not be of help. Forget about the "wish you were here" drama, cause he/she won't be with you (for all you know he/she is looking for someone else). I am not telling that you do get revenge or plot an evil scheme against that person. But I always do believe, guys and girls, the best revenge is to improve thyself and to be handsome/beautiful. And when you see each other again, they will regret that they let you go. However, don't let that get into your system. Think of yourself, always. You are doing it to help yourself, not for your once upon a time lover.

The bouts of melancholia will linger. But we can always do a counterattack. As much as possible, try not to befriend lonesome music. Adele's Someone like you should not be your constant sleeping companion, unless you want it to keep rewinding and playing on your head. Don't let the pathetic mood of sad songs get the hell out of you. Brothers and sisters, as cliche as it may sound, find happiness in all things. Play happy and relaxing music in the background and since and dance to your heart's content. I am not saying that heartbreaking songs should be deleted in your playlist, but if you want to be reminded of your heartache all over again, then do so. Maybe until you realize that your eyes are swollen from crying as you listen to those songs playing, you will believe me that it does not really do much good. Happiness is a choice, my dears. And if you want to be merry, let go of the things that block your happiness.

It may be easier said than done. Yet, at the end of the day, we drive our car to the direction we'd like to go. A brighter and better future is ours for the taking, so are you willing to trap yourself in the devastating past? The road ahead is wider than you can imagine. Take the first step. Fear will set in, but should you fail again, fret not, we can always try again. Besides, the same things do not happen twice. Life may be empty right now, but it is being emptied because it is being filled up with something better. Isn't that exciting?

Yes, we will always find someone better. You may not believe it. I haven't found mine yet, but as it is, I am open to all the possibilities. We should not close doors, if there's an opportunity, grab it. It might not work on the first try, but the chances are all there. Part of moving on is dating again. Some dread it though, because that means we are back to square one. We have to start with the getting to know you stage once more. The hi, hellos, how are yous of it all is here once again. At times you will get impatient because you felt you were dumped and you still felt small after the break up. But I do hope that if you are feeling like that as of now, please do not be hard on yourself. It's not entirely your fault my dear. Go through the pain for a time, but don't stay in the platform, for a lifetime. The fishes in the sea are so much, you just have to go out and do not grow tired of exploring.

And who knows, in one of the many encounters you have had, you might meet your one true love. Don't despair, don't embrace sadness. Instead, love and heal yourself. Count your blessings. Focus on the now and work on everything that you can for a better, wiser, and tougher you. And no matter what happens, don't give up on finding that love, because it will come. One day, we will all realize, all these happen because they have to. We just have to be in pain for now, but life is not unfair...it won't last long. Fly and soar high and take the journey. Have fun and never let life make you sour just because of a single heartbreak. There's more to life than that. :D 

Smile, be happy, and love again.


With lots of love,

Len <3 nbsp="nbsp">